Showing posts with label Correction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Correction. Show all posts

Monday, June 12, 2023

Being Helpful Toward Others

It has been a while since I have written a post. I was leading a Bible study yesterday and it was a good lesson on how to be an encouragement while offering constructive criticism. At times we can fall into a critique that points more toward division rather than toward positive change. This can make or break relationships. Honestly, I have had positive and negative examples of this. And if I am honest, I have been a positive as well as a negative example of this. So, let’s dig in.

Advice from a father-in-law?

There can be danger in giving and receiving advice from in-laws. Let me just start off by saying I have the most wonderful in laws ever. You might think you have the best, but you don’t. I am the lucky one that got the best. Early on in my relationship with my wife Amy (because of my immaturity), I felt threatened by them. This type of situation can be an opportunity for conflict and division. We see though in the context of Moses’ relationship with Jethro (his father-in-law) a beautiful example of how a father-in-law can speak, transforming truth into his son-in-law’s life.

Sunday, October 17, 2021

Painful Love

 

Correction is often unpleasant. When we correct those we love it is doubly unpleasant. However, true love does not shy away from correction. There is a strong distinction between loving correction and self-righteous correction. Paul is a model of how we as believers can lovingly offer guidance for turning from sin.

2 Corinthians 2:1–4 CSB

In fact, I made up my mind about this: I would not come to you on another painful visit. For if I cause you pain, then who will cheer me other than the one being hurt by me? I wrote this very thing so that when I came I wouldn’t have pain from those who ought to give me joy, because I am confident about all of you that my joy will also be yours. For I wrote to you with many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart—not to cause you pain, but that you should know the abundant love I have for you.

Paul had instructed the Corinthians to correct a member of their church for the sin in his life. This was a “Painful Visit.” But why would it be painful? I think it is a heart of love. Paul even says that he has an “abundant love” for the Corinthians.

He did not want to pile on the correction that he had offered. At times when we see some error we take the tact that we must tear down others sin. This is not Paul’s way. Rather he wanted something that he could rejoice in after his previous painful visit.

Paul also was troubled and anguished in his heart. His affliction had a deep impact on him. Note there is not a tone of condemnation or anger here. His heart is broken over the brokenness of church. His pain for the situation was evidence of his great love for the church.

Notice his statement of motive. He makes it clear that he did not want to cause pain, but rather to love them well. Let that sink in. When it comes to correction is must be both an action and object of love. When we offer correction outside of love we often fall into harsh, punitive, legalistic, and self-righteous ways. Loving correction is sanctifying. Unloving correction is soul killing.

Paul continues on to encourage the church toward loving correction.

2 Corinthians 2:5–8 CSB

If anyone has caused pain, he has caused pain not so much to me but to some degree—not to exaggerate—to all of you. This punishment by the majority is sufficient for that person. As a result, you should instead forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.

Love corrects in so far as to lead to the desired result. That result is restoration. There are times that correction can feed a spirit of contempt and bitterness toward the offender. Paul is cautioning the Corinthians to avoid going too far. In fact, quite extraordinary by natural standards he is telling them to forgive and comfort the one who has been punished. The purpose is to avoid making the individual fall into a depressed state of hopelessness. This is genuine care and concern for the soul. In this way Paul is challenging the church to love well.

Paul also warns what will happen if this loving forgiveness is not given. 2 Corinthians 2:11 “so that we may not be taken advantage of by Satan. For we are not ignorant of his schemes.” You see when we fail to love a person toward reconciliation we can fall into the evil schemes of Satan. In this way the devil has a double victory. The unforgiven person is isolated and hopeless. The church is prideful and self-righteous in their “fight against sinfulness.” Both parties are worse off as a result. We do well to heed this warning.

So what can we take away?

  • Correction avoided is not really Love
  • Correction must be rooted in Love
  • Correction is painful but not harmful
  • Correction avoids “piling on” guilt and shame
  • Loving correction comes from anguish, not anger
  • Correction leads to restoration and forgiveness
  • Correction without forgiveness falls into Satan’s schemes

Love because it matters!

May God Richly Bless You,

~BJ Olson

 

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Loving Correction

 


1 Corinthians 4:18–20 CSB

Now some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talk, but the power of those who are arrogant. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.

One of the easiest things we can do is to run our mouths. I certainly have been guilty of speaking when I ought to have been listening. Paul is admonishing the Church in Corinth for tolerating arrogant and boastful people. They also are overlooking grievous sin in their church. This seems to me to reflect the contemporary church in our current cultural climate. It would seem to me that many are more concerned about expressing their opinion than they are about personal holiness. In this environment we talk past each other and ignore the moral decay that is in our own house.

So often this arrogant talk leads us to attack others for their short comings. However, we come up short at looking at our own faults and sins. There is a reason God says Proverbs 16:18 “Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.” The spirit of pride does not for a moment look in the mirror. It is persistently looking for ways to tear down others. Dear friends this is not God’s way.

1 Corinthians 4:21 CSB

What do you want? Should I come to you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness?

When the prideful and arrogant do not listen, you can be sure that the rod is coming. However, God does not start there. It is in love and with a spirit of gentleness that Paul is offering correction. The power of the rod is fear, judgement, and shame. The power of wisdom is love and gentleness (James 3:13). So, Paul is saying how do you want your correction? Harsh or gentle? I’ll choose loving gentleness thank you!

So how might this apply to us in our interactions with others? First, we need to make sure that our pride is not the reason we are running our mouths. Remember Jesus loathes self-righteousness (Matthew 23:28). Second, we need the power of God’s love to operate in gentleness. Next, with our hearts right before God then and only then will correction come from a sanctifying place. Finally, all correction is done to restore a person (Galatians 6:1-2). One of the clearest ways to tell the difference between Godly versus arrogant correction is on this point. If the apparent goal is to tear down then it is from pride. If the heart is to restore then it is from love.

Dear friends let’s us build one another up in love. Let us offer correction in humility and gentleness. Let us inspire one another to good works of love and righteousness.

God Bless You

~BJ