End-Time Ethics (Wisdom about how to get through these trying times)

 

1 Peter 4:7–11 CSB

The end of all things is near; therefore, be alert and sober-minded for prayer. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God’s words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

It is getting worse. Dear brothers and sisters in Christ I cannot say with any certainty that we are in the end times. However, I can say that this is a time of trial. What is more as the end times approach that trials will get worse. So how are we to respond?

Peter offers several admonitions for the people to survive and thrive through the end times. He says we need to be alert, sober minded, prayerful, loving, hospitable, and serving. Lets break down each of these and discern how these things might apply to us today.

Be Alert:

This Greek word is defined as: to be soberly wise v. — to think and live wisely in self-control over one’s passions and desires. This is a trait that seems so foreign to our current cultural moment. We have let passion and desire cloud our thinking about the circumstances of our time. Many have abandoned self-control. And it is difficult to find wisdom in our dialog. It seems that demanding your way has become the guiding principle of our times. It reminds me of the verse in Judges 21:25 “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” The warning to be soberly wise is very valuable to our time. We cannot let the passions of the worldly strife take our heart and soul where God does not want us to go!

Sober Minded:

Peter doubly emphasizes the importance of having self-control. This word means: to get self-control ⇔ sober up v. — to curb the controlling influence of inordinate emotions or desires (and therefore become reasonable); conceived of as sobering up from the influence of alcohol. At times emotions and desires are a mind altering control over our thinking. Honestly I have fallen into this mindset. The warning here is to guard against falling into the altered state. The word gives a similarity to being under the influence of alcohol. Have your emotions and/or desires altered your mind? Peter’s admonition is “sober up!”

Prayer:

This is most certainly a time of prayer. I am so thankful for the Pastors at Richland Baptist Church. We have been meeting regularly to encourage each other in our walk with God. But more importantly we have been praying. We have been asking God to push us toward the things he wants in our lives. We have been praying for how God would have us lead. Praying for His Holy Spirit to fill our lives. We have prayed for the boldness and encouragement from the Lord. Quite honestly I have spent more time in prayer in the last two years than at any other time in my life. I don’t say that as a boast. I say that because that is what is needed at this time. We need to be in prayer.

Above all maintain constant love:

This has been the central truth that God has put on my heart. Anyone that has been reading my posts know this.

The phrase “above all” is vitally important to this verse. It means that love is to be the overarching and controlling influence in all that we do. The full extent of all that we do ought to be grounded in love. I am still working on this. I cannot say that I have been able to do this well. Prayerfully God is showing me how to love in His way.

We are to maintain love. That is love is active and intentional on our part. We cannot passively approach this subject of love. We are to keep love. When we lose love then we are going to be tossed about in the storm of this cultural moment. Love is the stabilizing force that keeps us grounded. The moment you start to maintain love the Devil will attack you. He does not want you to experience the power of God’s love in your life. Be forewarned maintaining love is no easy task.

We are to have a constant Love. This means that there is no sometimes love. Love is marked by great care and diligence. It is loving even when the natural thing would be to hate (Matthew 5:43-45).

Loving in this way has a product that is very important to the Christian life. At the very center of our faith is the grace and forgiveness that exist in the salvation we find in Jesus Christ. This forgiveness of sin is the very essence of the Gospel (good news) of our faith. When we love then it “covers a multitude of sins.” Let’s face it each of us are broken and sinful. We miss the mark with regularity. Without the covering of sin we would be hopeless. It is love of God that covers our sin in righteousness. So then when we love others we are forgiving of what every short comings they may have. Loving relationships are transforming. Hateful relationships are destructive. We need to be know by our love!

Be Hospitable:

This word is defined as: hospitable adj. — disposed to treat guests and strangers with cordiality and generosity. In our time there is a complete abandoning of cordiality and generosity. It has been lost. It does not surprise me that it has been lost in the world. What really troubles me is how much it has been lost in the Church. The church has become in many ways an inhospitable and viscous place. There have always been moments and places over the years that I have experienced this, but it has always been the exception and not the the norm. We have lost this. We need to get it back soon!

We are to be hospitable without complaining. Boy do we like to complain. I include myself in that. If there is something that we do not like we are quick to complain. The specific word here is grumbling. It reminds be of when the Israelites were in the desert and God was providing them daily food and yet the still complained about the leadership of Moses (Numbers 14:27). Complaining is very disheartening. It saps the zeal and excitement for the Lord. It is like a sail without a wind. Complaining makes you dead in the water. Ironically most people criticize because they want something to change. However, criticism makes change less not more likely. Any change positive or negative stalls in the face of Criticism

Serve Others:

God has given each of us gifts. We are to use these gifts in the service of others. That is our primary ministry in the kingdom of God. Our goal is not to be served but to serve. Often in church life we get that backwards. We look for ways that the body of Christ can serve our needs. Don’t get me wrong it is a blessing to receive the love and grace that comes from people who care about you. That is how it is supposed to work. However, our goal ought not to be to seek that out for ourselves, but rather how can we live that out toward others. Are you discontented? Then find somewhere in the church that you can serve and devote yourself to being the best God can make you to be in that position of service. Serve with excellence and Love.

We need to speak God’s words as we serve. Often we replace what God says with what we think is best. That is bound to create problems. We need to follow God and not use human idea, wisdom, polity, argument to encourage one another in church. That is not to say there is not wisdom that can be brought to bear in our walk. The Bible does not explain cardiology. However, man’s wisdom can never be held above or replace the clear teachings of God’s word. In order to know God’s word you have to be in God’s word. It is astounding to me how many who name Christ as their savior have never read the Bible once. Sure they look at selected passages, but never the whole book. We need to take the precious gift of God’s word to heart. We do that by digging into His Holy Bible.

We need to serve in God’s strength. I have at various times tried to do things in my own strength. I can go for a while this way, but it always ends poorly. I need to remember that. God is my strength.

That God Might Be Glorified:

What is the purpose of being alert, sober minded, prayerful, loving, hospitable, and serving? Well the main purpose it to glorify God. When we act in this manner God gets the glory of our obedience. We get the blessings of His pleasure. And ultimately it is not even our obedience purely. It is the work of Christ in our lives transforming us into the people that God has called us to be. So in that sense Jesus gets the glory for the work of sanctification in your life.

Dear brothers and sisters we are in a time of judgement. We need to get our house in order. I will talk more on this in my next post. In the meantime let us stay alert, be sober minded, spend more time in prayer, love in all ways and all circumstances, Practice being hospitable, and serving each other well.

God Bless You

~BJ

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Judging, Examining, and Specktating

“Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘LET me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a log in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:1-5 (HCSB)

I have previously preached on this passage (see here).  I recently was reflecting on this passage and I had another insight into what Jesus was teaching.

Meditation: Guarding Your Heart and Mind

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7 (HCSB)

Context:  In this passage Paul has finished discussing the theology of Christian living and now he is giving practical advice of how to live out that theology. 

Key Words:  Rejoice, Graciousness (Gentleness), The Lord is near, Don't worry, Prayer, petition, thanksgiving, Peace of God, guard heart and mind, in Christ Jesus

This passage is full of truths.  I think I should stay on it for a few days.  Yesterday God was showing me that I needed to me more gentle.  Today my meditation is that the peace of God guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.  I especially note that my heart and mind need this guarding and that my position is in Christ when this occurs. 

 

Have a Blessed Day. 

Don't Wait, Go!

Image by Dave Siberia via Flickr

This sermon was given on April 25, 2010. The audio version does not match exactly with the written text.  You can listen to the sermon by clicking the play button Here

This morning I am going to be expounding on Matthew 10:11-15. There was a man that had an acquaintance that was in the hospital for bronchitis. He felt a distinct prompt from the Holy Spirit to go an talk to that man. He thought he would go see him after the man recovered from the hospital. He again felt the distinct prompting. At this point he determined that he would go. Life got busy as it often does and he forgot about this determination. The man's acquaintance was dead in the next week. He did from complication of pneumonia. He now carries the grief of not going and sharing the gospel with him.

It seems that in order to receive a message you first have to receive the messenger and then you have to listen. This may seem very obvious to some, but it bears repeating. In order to receive a message you first have to receive the messenger and listen to the message. Now in this case Jesus is not addressing those that would receive the message, but rather the messengers themselves. By extrapolation then we can say that this instruction is for us as well when if comes to the spread of the Gospel.

The first command is to Go! In Matthew 10:7 Jesus says, "As you go..." We are to go into the world, ministering to the needs of others, while sharing the all important message of "the Kingdom of Heaven."

In this section (Matthew 10:11-15) Jesus is telling his disciples what they are to do when they arrive. The first order of business was to find a worthy person to stay with. I struggle with this part because I am not sure what method or measure we are to use to determine worthiness. It seems that the disciples were to ask around to find this worthy person, but worthy for what? I think it is directing us to a person that hospitable and open. This seems to make the most sense to me. I have in the past attempted to share the Gospel with those that were inhospitable and closed to hear anything about God. The danger of this type of interaction is that it rarely leads to a change and often just reinforces what the unbeliever already stereotypes Christians as being. In that sense then a worthy person is one that is welcoming, and open to hearing something from you. I can think of Paul's trip to Athens (Acts 17:16-34). In that passage we find that Paul first went to the Synagogue (Acts 17:17), next the market place, and then Areopagus. In each of these circumstances Paul was sharing with those that were open to hearing him out. It does not appear that all agreed with him though. Some ridiculed him, some said they wanted to hear from him again, and some believed. It is also interesting to note that Paul left the presence of those that ridiculed him. Another time when Paul traveled to Corinth to start a church in that city he found a couple Aquila and his wife Priscilla (Acts 18:1-3). They took Paul into their home and gave him work to do. It would seem that Paul determined they were worthy and he stayed with them throughout his time in Corinth.

Once a person was determined to be worthy then the disciples were to offer a peace blessing on the home. It is interesting to me that often we easily fall out of the command to offer a blessing of peace to the people that are the recipients of the message of Christ. All to often we debate, deride, ridicule, dismiss those that do not believe as we do. In some sense it is a gospel according to the flesh. "I know I am right and you are wrong so don't challenge me, don't fight me, just listen it is for your own good. Jesus died for your sins after all." I must admit I have been there myself. God grant mercy to those that I have been a stumbling block to. A blessing of peace is quite a thing. If we are to bless then it seems that we selfishly keep it for ourselves. We bless those that bless us. Jesus was saying something quite different here. He was suggesting that we speak blessing and peace without regard to where the person stood at the end of our encounter.

How does one bless another's home? Prayer certainly can be a good place to start. Sharing the Gospel without prayer is a real good way to ensure that you are arguing with the mind or the flesh. Our weapons though are not soulful or fleshly. They are spirit. If the message of the Cross is a spiritual message then it would seem to me that being in communion with God's Spirit would be a requisite part of the process. Pray for the peace of God to fill another's home then. What is more we can bring a blessing of peace by being good guests so to speak. I think American's have a difficult time with the concept of being a good guest. We expect as guests to be served and waited on. Not so with Paul. Notice that Paul promptly went to work with Priscilla when he stayed with him in Corinth. Paul the missionary of missionaries there making tents to supply for his own need. I must admit I struggle with this as well. We can be a blessing by speaking peaceably. There is a time for forceful presentations to be sure, but by in large it is the peaceable person that will lead another person to the Lord. We can be a blessing of peace if we speak in such a manner that others are likely to listen to us. Being vulgar or abusive is not a blessing and it certainly is not peaceable. I would also say that keeping passions in check is important to being a blessing of peace to others. It is often our passion (fleshly ones at that) which lead us astray into paths of defensiveness, hurtfulness, strife, and destructiveness. Keeping passions in check is no easy task when it comes to sharing the Gospel. We cannot expect others to be so kind to us. In fact there will be those that we do not reach.

When we strive to be a blessing of peace though our peace returns to us when the other person is not willing to receive that peace. At this point unworthiness is defined by not reciving your nor the message. We are not to take this personally. Jesus said, "If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you." (John 15:18) We are to realize that the peace which we offered has been rejected and returns to us in that instance.

Now some time passes and it becomes clear that the town is not going to convert to Christ. I am not sure how much time passes (God knows), but it has become clear that the audience for the message is either rejecting the message outright or not willing to listen at all. I think the hardest thing in the world is to make a break with someone when it becomes clear they are not ready to receive the message. One hopes beyond hope that a person will see it my way. If we continue down this path it is likely that the only way of conversion is by manipulation or by way of force. However, true conversion is by faith and faith alone. If a person cannot come to that place then manipulation or force will not save them. So break we must.

As a symbolic gesture of that break Jesus commands his disciples to shake the dust off of their feet. In order to understand this gesture you have to understand a practice of Jews at the time of Christ. To the devout Jew Palestine was Holy. Not just the place, but the very dust of the ground was considered Holy. When a Jew returned from a foreign city they believed that unholy dust clinched to their feet. This would lead them to shake their feet to rid themselves of the unholy dust so as not to pollute the holy dust of Palestine.

Was Jesus introducing a superstitious practice here? I do not believe so. I believe that Jesus was going with a more symbolic meaning. In the other gospels that record this event it is said that the disciples were to do this as a witness against them. In that case then it is saying we have brought a message to you and you have neither welcomed us nor accepted the message. We are not responsible for your rejection of the message. They are also making a break in fellowship with them. You see these were Jews and the Disciples were fellow Jews.

It is a sad case that there will be those whose hearts will not be changed. It is their hardness of heart that keeps them from being changed by the power of the Gospel. Making that choice hardness begets more hardness and leads them further down a path of disbelief. Arguing with a person that is on this path only chases them further along the way. That is why a break is needed.

It will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of Judgment than for those that reject the messengers and the message. That seems like quite a statement. God rained down his judgement on Sodom and Gomorrah for several sins. They had a complete disregard for God and the things of God that they were judged. They were in full on rebellion against God that they were judged and condemned. They Bible explains that they were sinning against God (Gen 13:13), guilty of moral corruption and rejecting God (Deut 32), engaged in full on sinfulness with no shame (Isa 3:9), guilty of adultery, falsehood, helping evil doers, and lack lack of repentance (Jer 23:14), promoted idolatry, prostitution, a lack of social justice (Ezek 16), and given themselves over to sexual perversion (Jude 1:7). That only to say that for these towns that rejected Christ's message for which these disciples were ambassadors are worthy of greater punishment. In my mind that is quite extraordinary. Yet there is is. Let me read it. Jesus said,

I assure you: It will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town
Matthew 10:15

The first phrase in this first sentence is "Amen I am saying to you." Jesus is removing any doubt about where He stands on this issue. His resolve is certain. There is no grace for those that reject the Gospel. And in the day of judgment they will face certain punishment. We tend to sugar coat the Christian message. I used to think that it was because we don't want to scare people off. I have come to the realization that so few Christians are engaged in witnessing that we sugar coat things we don't have to consider the responsibility we have shirked when it comes to spreading the message. To be sure those that do not accept Christ as their Lord and Savior will face eternal judgment and separation from God and loved ones who have gone on before them.

This judgment is a terrible fire (Matthew 25:31). It is a time in which we all will have to give account for our deeds whether good or bad, every careless word will come under the scrutiny of our Lord (Matthew 12:36). As Christians we will not escape Judgment.

1 Corinthians 3:11-15 says: For no one can lay any other foundation than what has been laid down. That foundation is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on that foundation with gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw, each one's work will become obvious, for the day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire; the fire will test the quality of each one's work. If anyone's work that he has built survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned up, it will be lost, but he will be saved; yet it will be like an escape through fire.

So for the Christian the terrible fire of judgment is a purification process leading to greater purity. The unbeliever on the other hand it is something much worse:

Revelation 20:13-15 says: Then the sea gave up its dead, and Death and Hades gave up their dead; all were judged according to their works. Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And anyone not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

If your name is not written in the book of life in the day of judgment it means that you have rejected the Gospel. I believe that every person's name is written in the Book of life . As long as that person has breath they have an opportunity to receive Jesus Christ as their Savior. Once they die if they never repent of the rejection of God's Grace their names are blotted out (that is erased) from the book of life (See Exodus 32:30-35; Ps 9:3-5; Ps 69:27-28, Rev 3:5). Having your named erased from the book of life means that you will face everlasting punishment (Rev 20:15).

I hope that is not true for anyone here this morning. I would be naive though to believe that everyone here has a relationship with Christ. If you have not made that step. Then I ask you, I implore you, take that first step. Enter into a loving relationship with the one that loves you enough to give his life for you. That is good news we can be free of sin and eternal death. If you are in a saving relationship with Christ then I have a question. Are you going to a lost world? If not then why not? When we go we need to find those that are open to the message. We need to be messengers of peaceful blessing. We have to acknowledge that there will be those that do not accept what you have to say. There are some that you may need to make a break with who refuse the gospel. The point is that we need to get involved in our mission to reach lost souls for Christ. We have to do it now. If we don't then we risk becoming like the man who waited too long to speak to the acquaintance in the hospital. That man caries that grief. That man was me. Don't wait. Let's Pray

When Friends Fall

Image by Lawrence OP via Flickr

Then He said to them, "My soul is swallowed up in sorrow-to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake with Me." Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will." Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping. He asked Peter, "So, couldn't you stay awake with Me one hour?"
Matthew 26:38-40 (HCSB)

There were three disciples that were extremely close with our savior.  Jesus had invited them along a very intimate moments in his ministry.  There was the time that Jesus raised the daughter of Jarius (Leader of the Synagogue in Capernaum).  That time Peter, James, John, and the parents were the only ones that Jesus allowed into to witness (Mark 5:22-23; 35-43).  Another time He took these same three disciples to the top of high mountain to pray.  While they were there they witness the transfiguration of Christ (Luke 9:28-36). 

On the eve of His crucifixion after the last meal with his disciples Jesus led them to the Garden of Gethsemane.  He asked his disciples to sit and wait for Him as he prayed.  However he invited these three Peter, James, and John to go a little further with Him.  He expressed his great distress "My soul is swallowed up in sorrow -to the point of death."  Then He asks them to do something, "Remain here and stay awake with me." 

These three who Jesus had shared some of the most intimate moments of His earthly life with were there with Him in the moment of greatest agony.  It seems like a simple request, "stay awake with me."

There are moments that we would like our friends to stay awake with us.  Those moments of great distress when it is all we can do to offer up a prayer.  And we might even reach out to them and say stay with me. 

What did they do?  They fell asleep.

Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping. He asked Peter, "So, couldn't you stay awake with Me one hour? Stay awake and pray, so that you won't enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.'
Matthew 26:40-41 (HCSB)

So a second time Jesus asks them again to stay awake.  He also tells them to pray so that temptation would not overtake them.  He explains that they have a weak flesh.  And of course they did what he said right?  No, they fell asleep.

And He came again and found them sleeping, because they could not keep their eyes open.
Matthew 26:43 (HCSB)

There will be times in your life when those that are closest to you are asleep in your deepest hour of need.  They may not be physically asleep, but perhaps they will be spiritually or emotionally asleep.  The point is they will not be there for you.  Those that are closest may not be there when you need them.  What is more it is even possible that our friends could deny us in our deepest need (Matthew 26:34-35 and Matthew 26:74-75). 

At this moment we have a choice.  Do respond in kind?  Do we put up walls to keep from getting hurt?  Do we push them away? WWJD?

John 21:15-19 records Jesus' restoration of Peter after His resurrection.  Jesus forgave Peter his shortcomings and restored him for the greater purpose and ultimately our greater good.  Restoring a friend that has not been there for you or even denied you is a very difficult thing.  But it is what Jesus has modeled for us.  Some might object by saying, "But Jesus is God and I am not that forgiving."  Consider these verses:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Try to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes. If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.
Romans 12:17-21 (HCSB)

or even:

Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won't be tempted.
Galatians 6:1 (HCSB)

or even:

For if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don't forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing.
Matthew 6:14-15 (HCSB)

It is clear to me that even when we are hurt by others that God desires for us to forgive and restore.  I know that is not easy.  But if a person repentant like Peter (and unlike Judas), then we are to restore such a person.  In doing this we honor God and we gain a friend. 

Blessings to you all.

Is Meaningful Conversation a Measure of Happiness?

Image by Lawrence OP via Flickr

I have had a bit of writers block, but in my prayer time this morning the log jam in my mind was broken. 

It seems to me that one thing that most people long for is an authentic relationship.  And yet it also seems that it is the one thing that is lacking in nearly everyone's life.  Why?  Well the answer to that is about as diverse as the people that long for them.  Broken trust, past trauma, unmet expectations, living in a fallen world, perfectionism, fear, awkwardness, social degradation, unhealthy messages from past, self-doubt, rebellion, neglect, and on and on all wage an assault on authentic relationships.  If we are honest this assault comes from within as much as it comes from the outside.  When relationships lack authenticity then meaningful conversation is first to go. 

Recently there was a study about having a substantive conversation with others (see article here).  In this study they found that those that had more substantive conversations were generally more happy than those that engaged in small talk.  Interestingly the strongest correlation with lower scores of happiness was being alone (see actual study here).  So being alone in this study is the best predictor of low scores on well-being, next was small talk which was not an effective predictor, but correlated with lower scores on well-being, then substantive conversations was a predictor of of higher scores on well-being.  And the strongest predictor of well-being was being able to talk to others generally (whether or not the conversation was substantive). 

If talk is a measure of authentic relationships (which seems reasonable to me) this study seems to confirm my belief that people are seeking and longing for authentic relationships.  And it would also seem that either people who have a higher sense of well-being seek out more meaningful conversation and/or people who engage in meaningful conversation are generally happier people.  If I had to guess I would say it is probably a little of both. 

Interestingly Jesus offers the opportunity to enter into authentic relationship with Him and in turn with others.  However, I do not see these types of relationships by in large in the church nor in Christian families.  It is possible that I am biased in the fact that I am a counselor and generally I get the darker side of life by virtue of that profession.  However even as I look to relationships outside of my job I discover that rarely is anything ever as it seems.  That underlying most relationships is a longing for authentic relationship.  I am not jaded.  I have seen these relationships, but my gut tells me they are in the minority. 

My wife is one of the authentic relationships.  She knows me better than any person has my whole life.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Yet she accepts me.  That is a precious gift.  Don't get me wrong there is still plenty that I do that gets on her nerves (sometimes I wonder how she does it), but she stays with me and loves me.  Yet even in this relationship, when she or I stop engaging in meaningful conversation, I think my experience is consistent with the study in that my sense of well-being goes down.  I also can say that being alone without my wife around is a time when my well-being is the lowest.  Sorry babe you cannot take that trip out of town with the women (just kidding).

Jesus is one of those relationships where I have experienced authenticity.  Before Him there is nothing hidden (even when I would have them hidden they are not).  So openness is a foregone conclusion.  Yet even in this relationship can lack authenticity.  My own shortcomings can stand in the way.  Not because Jesus, but because of my own pride and/or my own shame.  Either or both of these will become a barrier to authentic relationship with Christ.  Interestingly this same concept of meaningful conversation comes into play.  I notice a correlation to my sense of well being and reading my Bible (the way that Jesus speaks to me) and Prayer (the way that I speak to Jesus and the Holy Spirit leads my heart). 

Where are you at?  Is your relationship with Jesus Authentic?  Do you have a relationship with Christ?  If you do then are you talking with Him through prayer and Bible reading? 

How about your other relationships?  Do you have people that you engage in meaningful conversation with?  If not what is standing in the way?  If it is a confidence thing what are you willing to do to restore that confidence?  What changes are you willing to make to have and be an in authentic relationship?

Blessing to you all! 

Circles of Confidence part II

Image via Wikipedia

Friends of Christ

No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13 (HCSB)

Before we look at some of the friends of Christ I want to examine his teaching on friendship.  At the heart of friendship is a love that is sacrificial.  Without sacrificial love there can be no greater confidence and intimacy has reached its limit.  There are people who can live this way.  They have enough confidence in humanity to accomplish particular tasks (eg fellow workers), but they never go beyond.  Their circle of confidence never allows for others to come near them.  In doing this they protect themselves from being hurt.  However they tend to live lives of isolation and loneliness. 

You are My friends if you do what I command you.
John 15:14 (HCSB)

This verse can have double application I believe.  Jesus' is clearly saying when we love with a sacrificial love then we are His friends.  I think by implication when we do not love this way then we are not acting like friends of Jesus.  The other application I believe is that a friend will fulfill the request of another friend.  Don't get me wrong we must hold Jesus in higher regard than other friends, but if a friend asks you to do something and you do not do it then how is it that person is your friend.  In this way it seems to me that most friendships are killed by neglect and not by angry actions. When what we do does not match up with what we say or believe then we lack integrity.  This lack of integrity is destructive to relationships.  For example, If I say I believe in the Grace and Forgiveness of God, but I do not treat others graciously or in a forgiving manner then I lack integrity and people will question and/or reject my friendship and I am rejected by God (See Matthew 18:32-35). 

...I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from My Father.
John 15:15 (HCSB)

A friend is a person that shares important parts of what they know.  Openness is a good measure of friendships.  When a person starts to withhold information from another then friendships wither.  A lack of openness usually is a good measure of a lack of confidence.  This lack of confidence can be in certain areas of the relationship.  For example I may have high confidence that a friend will help me with a job around the house, but low confidence that they could help me with a emotional problem.  That is OK.  We will see that Jesus had fewer people that He put higher confidence in than those who were simply His friends.  So varying degrees of confidence is not a bad thing in itself. 

In this Jesus is making known to his friends what He is hearing from our Heavenly Father.  We to can make intimate things know about our relationship with God as well as intimate part of our lives.  As our confidence grows then so does our ability to be intimate in our relationships.  Jesus did not do this with everyone though.  In the same manner we need to discern who is a friend and who is not. 

You did not choose Me, but I chose you...
John 15:16 (HCSB)

Here we can again see a double meaning in this passage.  Jesus is saying that he chose His friends to be the continuation of His ministry here on earth.  His friends were going to establish the Church and tell others about the Good News of Salvation through Christ.  It also says that Jesus chose His friends.  In the same manner we to should choose our friends.  All to often people let others to choose them as friends.  Sometimes they are lucky and other times not so.  Keeping your eyes open and paying attention to how people talk about other, how they treat others, and to a certain extent trusting your convictions is a good way to discern who would be a good friend. 

In short then Jesus teaches that friendship involves sacrificial love, willingness to do things that a friend asks, openness, and a choice (discernment) of friends.  God willing I will look at the people that were friends of Christ.  God Bless You.

Confidence Restored?

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There is a financial term "full faith and credit" which means the unconditional commitment of one party to back the the interests and principle of another's debt.  An example of this is the most recent mortgage loan crisis with our government "bailing out" finical institutions who had large amounts of mortgage debt that were worth less than the properties used to take on that debt (due to falling real estate prices).  The US Government bought many of these debts, but more than that they gave "full faith and credit" to help other institutions secure capital so that they could start lending money again to lower mortgage interest rates and stabilize the housing market.  Well I think the jury is still out as to whether this will work in the long run, but the point is this.  The expectation is that the US government will not default on it's loan obligations.  That makes these investments much lower risk, because if things go badly the US Government will bail us out. 

This illustration is much more meaningful when we apply it to our relationship with God and with others.  A person that has a relationship with God can rely on and trust in the "full faith and credit" of God's goodness, mercy, provision, loving-kindness and so on.   That is to say our commitment of Confidence has less to do with the character of the person that we are trusting and more to do with our confidence that God will work things out.  Stated another way, "I trust you not because you are a guarantee, but because even if things go poorly God is big enough to bail both you and me out, by His great mercy and grace."  Ultimately your trust in others ought to be an expression of your trust in God. 

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (HCSB)

Confidence in another person really is an expression of love.  Notice above it says love does not keep a record of wrongs, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.  At first glance this seems a rather silly notion to the natural man.  But this verse must be understood in the context of our relationship with God and in light of our future with Him. 

Keeping record of wrongs is the opposite of confidence.  Face it we are all weak in our character.  We all have major flaws.  You don't have to go very far to discover a weakness in yourself or in others that you have a close relationship with.  Keeping a record of wrongs is like going on an investigation of why I should break off this relationship.  You will always find evidence.  The end result is a heart filled with discontent and suffering.  Don't get me wrong being hurt by someone will often take a long time to heal.  You also will likely remember the thing that hurt you for a long time, possibly for the rest of your life.  The difference is being reminded of a hurt is not the same as "let me tell you how you have hurt me."  The difference is in part an attitude that throws it in another's face versus what can I learn to grow from this painful experience. 

Bearing all things leads to a restoration of confidence. The word bear in the Greek is a beautiful word picture.  The root word means roof.  The picture is to cover (ie roof) in silence.  A person who has confidence in the other person will cover them in silence.  What does that mean?  To me it is an expression of not airing dirty laundry.  It can also mean that the relationship is protected and covered without fanfare or celebration.  Think about your roof.  It probably does not get much notice until it stops working.  It covers in silence.  Yet can you imagine your life with out it?  In the same way bearing all things builds up and if needed restores confidence in a relationship. 

Believing all things I must admit is a hard one for me to receive.  As I read that phrase my first thought is I must be a fool to believe all things.  Is that not being naive?  When we look at the Greek for believe then it really opens this up to the purpose of these series of posts.  In this case the meaning is to commit, entrust, give credit, and have faith.  Given that it seems to draw us even deeper in to unconditional credulity.  However I can think of other passages that encourage us to be discerning (1 Corinthians 2:14; Hebrews 5:14).  So then this statement cannot be unconditional belief in all things.  I believe that what is being described here is a disposition to believe in a person and their motives.  When this quality is lost in a relationship then confidence is lost and trust along with it.  The only way to restore confidence is to return to a disposition of trust and faith in the other person (ie believe all things).  Otherwise the opposite disposition becomes a poison well that slowly kills the relationship. 

Hoping all things looks toward the future with a positive outlook for what could be.  This type of hope is the root of Christian faith (Romans 8:24-25).  In relationships it is hope for a better future.  This kind of hope is more than wishful thinking.  It is confidence (there is that word again) that through commitment, hard work, and God's grace the relationship will be a blessing.  So often we are hopeless about ourselves or others.  Hopelessness destroys confidence.  Without confidence there is no trust. 

Endure all things?  But why should I do that?  First consider that if a person endures trials in a righteous manner they are rewarded in heaven (see James 1:12).  There is a kind of endurance that is really just learned helplessness.  It is a resignation to suffer through it, because that is all we can do is suffer.  That type of endurance is destructive.  The type of endurance that is being describe here is when a person perseveres through the pain, suffering, trials knowing that there is something better for them in the future.  Learned helplessness is laying down and taking it with barely a whimper.  Biblical endurance is standing up (with the help of the Lord) and walking through fiery trials.  It is the type of confidence that relies on the "full faith and credit" of our Heavenly Father. 

When we place our confidence in others we create an environment where trust can grow.  On the other hand when we remove our confidence we withdraw an essential quality that is needed in healthy relationships.  Over time it will be wither like a plant without water in the hot of a summer.  Confidence is absolutely needed in a growing trusting relationship.  The great news is that we can place our confidence not in the failings of humans, but in the greatness of God's grace and mercy.  We can trust in God to bring our relationships into the light of His glory and the showering of His love. 

God Bless You.

Trustworthiness According to the Bible

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One of the strange things about the area of trustworthiness is that I takes many things to build it, but it only takes a few things (sometimes only one) to destroy it.  think about building a tower of blocks.  If you keep taking blocks out from the base the tower is going to collapse.  It is the same with trustworthiness.  But what is trustworthy and how do I know when I have it or have found it. 

According to the Bible a trustworthy person...

hates bribes	Exodus 18:21
is responsible	Nehemiah 13:13
keeps a confidence (not gossiping)	Proverbs 11:13
brings healing words	Proverbs 13:17
brings refreshing words	Proverbs 25:13
is honest with a friend even if means the subject is unpleasant	Proverbs 27:6
is above reproach, not negligent	Daniel 6:4
has friends willing to stand up for them	1 Samuel 22:14
believes in God and His word	2 Chronicles 20:20
has faith in God	Psalms 27:13
waits for God	Psalms 27:14
is a good steward (responsible with other's money)	Matthew 25:22-23
is given more responsibility based on faithfulness	Luke 19:16-17
is a servant of God and managers of God's mystery (gospel message)	1 Corinthians 4:1-2 See also Colossians 1:26-27
is respectful, not slanderous, self-controlled	1 Timothy 3:11
is an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity	1 Timothy 4:12
takes care of their family	1 Timothy 5:16
holds on with hope and without wavering	Hebrews 10:23
is concerned about others, promotes love, promotes good works, attends worship with other believers, encourages others	Hebrews 10:24-25
walks in truth (integrity) and supports others (even strangers)	3 John 1:3-8
is faithful during affliction	Revelation 2:10

Here is an interesting lesson on faithfulness.  Jonah the faithful prophet of God became unfaithful, yet God used him in spite of Jonah's unfaithfulness.  Albeit Jonah needed a little convincing in the belly of a fish for three days and three nights.  He still did not get it at the end so one wonders whether he ever got it turned around.  Probably otherwise we would not have the book.  Even more interesting is that the Ninevites whom enriched themselves with the plunder of wars became trustworthy in a moment through repentance at God's Word (Jonah 3:5-9).  Jesus even used them of an example of trustworthiness (Luke 11:32).    So the bloodthirsty Ninevites gain trustworthiness through the wonderful grace of God.  And that same grace is available to us through Christ.  Praise God for His wonderful mercy and grace.  Praise God for new beginnings. 

The story of Jonah along with the verses above have shown me that trustworthiness is first based on a relationship with God followed by a commitment to grow in Him.  A trustworthy Christian is one that is growing in his or her relationship with Christ.  One problem with thinking of trustworthiness as a category or a goal to achieve is that it lends itself to the belief that we can arrive at trustworthiness and then our work is done.  Not so.  These passages I have shared with you make it clear to me that trustworthiness is a life long pursuit and requires persistence to grow in this way. 

I encourage you to make faithfulness a goal of your daily walk with Christ.  Do not let neglect become your weakness leading to unfaithfulness ending in broken trust.  God Bless you.

Sexual Intimacy According to the Bible II

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In the last post the emphasis was on how the husband was talking to his wife.  In this post we will look at how the wife talks about her husband to others.  One of the most striking things about this passage is that it elevates man's sexuality from the ash heap and cultural stereotypes that have been sold, bought, and held up as a banner over the last 50 years.  Men are sexual no doubt, but whether we are aware of it or not we are every bit as complicated as women when it comes to sexuality and our sexuality is much greater than the act itself. 

What makes the one you love better than another, most beautiful of women? What makes him better than another, that you would give us this charge?
Song of Songs 5:9 (HCSB)

Two of the greatest gifts a wife can give her husband is to appreciate him (his strength, worthiness, adequacy, and masculinity) and be his friend. 

In the Song of Songs 5:10 the wife begins to tell others what makes her husband so special in her eyes.  She starts with saying he is "fit and strong."  Men generally struggle with a deep need to be perceived as strong.  Now the biological reality is that we cannot all be Arnold Swartzenerger.  So most men look to find their prowess in other realms.  Men long for this.  If they do not get it from their wives they will often seek it elsewhere.  This wife continues by saying she sees him as better than ten thousand men.  The word used here is dagal.  It is literally translated banner.  This is a military term used to describe the flag that represents the strength of the troop that it flies over.  Think about that statement, "My husbands honor, strength, protection, and worth is a banner over ten thousand."  That is powerful language.  You don't have to fake it either.  The reality is that your husband has a God given strength that is a banner over 10,000.  Celebrate that strength with him.

She moves on to complement his head of gold and wavy black hair (Song 5:11).  Gold is a symbol of purity.  Men we need to live lives that allow our wives to say that we have a pure head (mind).  If there is sexual brokenness then it must be addressed.  Women I am a firm believer in the restorative power of God's grace.  If your husband struggles with or has struggled with sexual brokenness he needs you to accept him as pure again (by the forgiveness in Christ).  His behavior has not been gold, but God has made him Gold by his grace and mercy.  Many men seem to love their hair or grieve the loss of it.  Some more than others.  It is nice to hear a complement from our wives that they like their husbands hair.  One thing men we should style our hair the way that our wives like it.

The wife talks about his eyes (Song 5:12).  Remember in the last post I talked about eyes being the window to the soul.  Catching each other in the eyes is an act of intimacy.  She continues to look at his face and notices that he smells good (Song 5:13).  That tells me two things.  One she is close enough to his face to smell it and two the husband has taken a bath and put on some cologne.  Both are necessary to have sexual intimacy.  She notices his lips and likely is thinking about kissing them (remember she is describing her husband here he is not actually there). 

She is again noting his strength describing his arms as rods of gold, and his body as a panel of ivory (Song 5:14).  Your husband's arms are there to embrace you passionately.  His strong embrace should be celebrated.  He may not have 6 pack abs, but surely there are physical/emotional/social qualities that you can find that are attractive to you.  

She then moves down to his legs and his physical presence (Song 5:15).  His legs are strong and stable like columns of marble.  It is interesting to note that of all the objects of architecture that seem to last through time columns seem to stand up.  I am not sure that this is what the writer of this meant, but strong legs seem to be a complement of stability and staying power.  Notice the place he is standing is one of purity and righteousness (Pedestals of pure gold).  She also complements his presence.  He is majestic as the choice cedars of Lebanon. 

She returns to his mouth and says that it is sweetness (Song 5:16).  This is likely a reference to what and how he talks to her (less likely his kisses).  Two things to note one he must be saying sweet things and two she is giving him credit.  Men may not admit it, but we like it when wives say, "Do you know how sweet my husband is..."  Most of the time that is not the direction of the conversation.  It more often male bashing.  We may laugh in the moment, but when a man is emasculated in front of others sexual intimacy suffers and that is not funny. 

She also says he is desirable.  Men long to be desired by their wives.  A whole industry is built around the false illusion that there is a woman that desires the man (pornography).  I don't say this to make you feel that you are in competition with the industry.  Rather you have an opportunity to give him what he longs for, a woman that desires him.  This is real and much more satisfying than the image.  What is more it is sanctioned by God as a good thing.  Having a wife that desires her husband is a real turn on to a man. 

She concludes with two very important statements about sexual intimacy with males (Song 5:16).  First she describes him as her lover.  She is saying that she is sexually available for her and he is sexually available for her.  It is destructive to a marriage to not be available to each other.  It is equally destructive to be available for the sex act, but not be available for sexual intimacy.  If you struggle with either of these problems it needs to be addressed.  You will strengthen your marriage bond in doing so.  Pretending like it will get better is foolish (because it usually does not).  Men who experience sexual intimacy with their wives do not go have affairs generally.  So it also protects your marriage. 

The last thing she says is that he is her friend.  There is a statement I heard once in a marriage seminar, "Men do not question if their wives love them, but they often question whether their wives really like them."  When I have shared this with men I get a strong affirmation that this is how they feel.  Women need to be heard, and men need to be liked.  By the way friendship in this way is different for men than for women.  So learn what it means to your husband to be a friend and become his best friend.  It will strengthen your sexual intimacy as a result. 

I hope that this post will elevate your husband's sexuality out of the gutter of "men are lustful visual creatures that need to engage in regular sex or they will stray" to God's ideal for masculine sexuality.  Men we need to aspire to confront the lies that are being told about our sexuality and that to a certain extent we have bought into and believed about ourselves.  It is time to tear down the banner lifted up by false view of male sexuality (created by a godless culture) and raise the banner that God has given us in his word.  We are more dignified than what the world says about us and it is time that we view our sexuality though God's eyes and act accordingly.

As always blessings to you!

Sexual Trauma

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Sexual Trauma is a barrier to sexual intimacy.  Trauma comes in many forms.  The most extreme is sexual abuse, but it can come in milder forms.  For example someone with increased sensitivity catching your spouse looking at porn can be a trauma.  Another might be finding out your spouse is having an affair.  Childhood sexual abuse is a sexual trauma.  Sexual trauma is when an event that threatens your well being and the associated feelings become connected to sexual behavior.  Often the associated feelings are subconscious.  They will pop up without understanding or explanation.   Sexual trauma can be from within the marriage or from some other event from the past.  To be clear unwanted sexual behavior of an aggressive nature is abuse whether the couple is unmarried or married.  Forced sexual contact is rape regardless of marital status. 

One of the difficult aspects of trauma is that the memory and associated feelings are often locked into the brain and do not go away.  There can be some relief through various therapies, but it only takes a moment to bring up those feelings from the past.   Imagine if you will a super camera that records everything, sight, sound, smell (very strong in trauma), thought, feeling, sensation.  Now that super camera has an automatic alarm attached to it that is loud enough to wake the soundest of sleepers.  That is what it is like to experience sexual trauma and cues that remind of the past trauma.

Once trauma is encoded into the brain it pretty much becomes a permanent part of that persons life story.  Interesting there are some therapy techniques that help people retell their story so that they can better cope in the present.  This may make coping more effective, yet even in this scenario the trauma is still a part of the life story.   

One of the most unhelpful things you can do if your spouse is struggling with sexual trauma is to tell them to either "get over it" or "stop punishing me."  "Get over it" is irritating and down right disrespectful.  It communicates you are not a safe person to deal with genuine feelings and blames the victim.  Remember your spouse is the victim.  "Stop punishing me" is playing the victim.  You are not the victim in sexual trauma (at least in this hypothetical scenario) your spouse is.  You cannot help your spouse leave the role of victim by playing one yourself. 

Let me just say if you are in a relationship in which trauma is regularly occurring or is severe in nature you need to find a safe place.  Reconciling with a person should be done with the greatest of caution and only after the person has demonstrated a change in heart and change in behavior.  Placing yourself in a dangerous situation is foolishness don't do it!!!!!!

To help a spouse who is a victim of sexual trauma you have to recognize your role in it. 

If you are the person that instigated the trauma you have to make a full admission to your role and take steps to break the behavior that traumatized your spouse in the first place.  You have to take responsibility for these behaviors without blaming your spouse.  Sexual Trauma is often rooted in anger.  You have to be willing to take a look at how you handle anger, frustration, and irritability.  You might need to seek out help of another as you learn to deal effectively with anger.  If you do not then your spouse will not feel safe to allow for sexual intimacy. 

You might be thinking, "But I did not cause this."  It is important to recognize that people who have been traumatized can and often are retraumatized by the behavior of others.  You may not have initiated the trauma, but as the spouse of a victim of sexual abuse you have an obligation to takes steps to not retraumatize them.   You have to be willing to break from those behaviors regardless of how your spouse should feel or not feel safe.  Stated another way:  You cannot help your spouse develop coping skills for past trauma by constantly pulling the scab of the wound.  

If you are the victim of sexual trauma and you desire to have true sexual intimacy with your spouse then you have to take a path of learning to trust another with your body and vulnerably again.  It is not an easy path, but it can be done.  If your spouse is the cause of the sexual trauma and is repentant then you are needing to take the path of going FORTH (see previous post).  You also may want to seek additional help of a counselor, pastor, and/or trusted friend. 

It is sad that in order to accomplish ideal sexual intimacy that we have to address the ugliness of sexual sin whether the guilty party or the victim or the spouse of the victim.  However, we have to take a stand to protect others from trauma and become safe people else we risk becoming part of the problem.  Without repentance (a change of heart and direction) then true sexual intimacy cannot occur. 

One of the most beautiful things that can happen in marriage is that the relationship can be a source of great healing and hope.  If both spouses commit to loving each other in the manner in which you hold the other's needs higher than your own and you enlist the healing power that exists in the grace of God then genuine healing can be the result.  Together you can build sexual intimacy and overcome the past sexual trauma through a safe, compassionate, loving, caring marriage.  If it is lost then it can be restored if both spouses seek it.  If it is present then your marriage is a place of great worth. 

Emotional Intimacy II

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Understanding is to good communication as tenderness is to emotional intimacy.  Recall that in understanding each person willingly suspends his/her automatic judgment that the other is wrong.  They stick to listening until they get it and understand the other person's point of view.  Tenderness is the emotional expression of understanding in my opinion.  Tenderness creates and emotional atmosphere of safety, care, and concern.  This is contrasted with harshness or guardedness which leads to shutting down of emotional intimacy. 

 

 

 

This music video is about tenderness . 

We often speak a hash word before we have even stopped to think about what we are saying.  then in pride we hold fast to our position and just like the song says, "All tenderness is gone!" 

Obviously the main way is to avoid harshness and guardedness all together. That requires you to slow down your reactions.  I think that most times it is based in a feeling of defensiveness.  You have to begin to notice when you are feeling defensive and put the breaks on your mouth.  It is quite something to do as the whole process of receiving a message that is perceived as threatening to triggering feeling defensive to a harsh word is literally milliseconds.   If you are not good at this right away there is hope.  I have seen people learn to do this and become more emotionally intimate with their spouses.  First it takes willingness to change this bad habit; then it takes awareness that you are feeling defensive; then it takes extraordinary will power to shut your mouth and listen!!!!  It can be done with practice. 

The Horse is Out of the Barn

This is very simple!  Apologize immediately when you first become aware that harshness and guardedness has crept into the conversation.   Don't wait for the right moment, don't try to figure out who is at fault, just apologize.  Even if you are only a little at fault.  You cannot, You cannot, You cannot have emotional intimacy without tenderness, and apologizing is one of the most tender things you can do when conflict has come up.  If you feel that you are right in what you are saying then say something like, "This is not a good time to discuss this subject, but I want to apologize for the way that I reacted to you, it was wrong.  Maybe we can talk later when I have had a chance to think it through." 

WALK IN GRACE AND BUILD UP

Tenderness is cultivated by sensitive, loving, and caring words and actions.  If they do not come naturally to you then here is a list to give you an idea. 

Warmth Affection Loving Kindness

Interested Nearness

Gentle Regard Affection Charity Empathy

Attachment Nurture Delight

Benevolence Understanding Indulgence Leniency Devotion

Unselfishness Patience

So now the encouragement for emotional intimacy is tenderness accomplished when you "Walk in grace and build up" your spouse.  May God's Grace grant you the will, wisdom, and strength to accomplish this in your marriage. 

Knowing Christ

Intimacy with Christ is the highest human endeavor.  We have been created to seek fellowship with our creator.  There a longing unquenchable that can only be filled by the Creator Himself.  I have found that intimacy with Christ is the fulfillment of this longing.  There are moments that we forget this and some how become disconnected from Him, but He is gentle and always guides us back into the fold.  Our relationship with God if it is truly to be intimate must come before all other relationships.  It must be ordered first in line.  When we do this then other relationships fall into order (as God would have them). 

Intimacy with Christ has at least four qualities that relate to mindfulness: knowing his voice, knowing the power of His resurrection, walking with Him through the day, and anticipating His return.  When we cultivate these then we will experience the closeness we long for in Christ. 

Knowing His Voice

I am the good shepherd. I know My own sheep, and they know Me, as the Father knows Me, and I know the Father. I lay down My life for the sheep. But I have other sheep that are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will listen to My voice. Then there will be one flock, one shepherd.
John 10:14-16 (HCSB)

My sheep hear My voice, I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish-ever! No one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. The Father and I are one.
John 10:27-30 (HCSB)

There are perquisites to knowing the voice of the Good Shepherd.  First you have to know the Shepherd.  You have to have received Him as your Lord and Savior.  Nothing short of surrendering you life will do.  You are entrusting your life to His guidance and protection (Shepherdship).  Next you have to be listening.  Sound obvious right, but not so easy as it it obvious.  We have so much noise around us and worldly trinkets to distract us that we do not pay attention nor do we listen.  Finally we have to be obedient and follow Him.  Being out of earshot is no excuse for not listening.  Being near the Lord by obedience allows us to be within earshot of his voice.  

Knowing the Power of His Resurrection

But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ. More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of Him I have suffered the loss of all things and consider them filth, so that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own from the law, but one that is through faith in Christ-the righteousness from God based on faith. [My goal] is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, assuming that I will somehow reach the resurrection from among the dead. Not that I have already reached [the goal] or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:7-14 (HCSB)

Coming to the end of the worldly and embracing Christ by faith is to know the power of His resurrection.   We are found in Him.  We achieve higher intimacy with God by dwelling in Jesus Christ.  We have faith in Him. 

Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him.
Hebrews 11:6 (HCSB)

The wonderful thing about this faith it is a gift and can be requested. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,
Ephesians 2:8 (NKJV)

Then Jesus said to him, "'If You can?' Everything is possible to the one who believes." Immediately the father of the boy cried out, "I do believe! Help my unbelief."
Mark 9:23-24 (HCSB)

A word of warning though only ask God to strengthen your faith if you are sincere about seeing it through.  Faith is not strengthened without trials (no pain no gain). 

Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.
James 1:2-4 (HCSB)

I will consider the topics of walking with Jesus through the world and anticipating His return in my next post.  I hope that God will expand your knowledge of Him so that you will move from knowing about Him to knowing Him!

God Bless you!

Mindfulness in Action

Little children, we must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.  1 John 3:18 (HCSB)

Awareness of others will lead to mindfulness in action as the Holy Spirit makes us aware of others needs.  I believe that in Christian fellowship and relationship God desires that we focus on our own character (awareness of self) and others needs (awareness of others). 

In order to meet the needs of others it requires that we become aware of those needs.  We have to look and see what the needs are.  This also requires a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit will prompt you to others' needs that you might otherwise not be aware of.  This type of awareness requires a high level of responsibility though.  We cannot "love in word or speech," we must love "in truth and action." 

There are three important elements of effective action.  First actions have to based in sincerity, purity and grace.  Second, the primary motivation for our action is love.  Finally, fulfilling God's purpose in our life will lead to effectiveness. 

Sincerity, Purity, and Grace

For this is our confidence: The testimony of our conscience is that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially toward you, with God-given sincerity and purity, not by fleshly wisdom but by God's grace.  2 Cor 1:12 (HCSB)

In the DBT literature "Wisemind" is the integration of emotional experience and logical analysis to develop "intuitive knowing."  The goal of wisemind is to achieve a balance of feeling and reasoning to achieve this wisemind state.  Wisemind is often experienced in the as a sensation in the gut.  Wisemind is not Christian mindfulness.  Wisemind is inward "fleshly wisdom."  This can be dangerous for the Christian because "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh (Romans 7:18)."  Wisemind can (for the Christian) lead them away from "God's Grace"  I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with intuition or gut reactions.  The Bible has many examples of these type of experiences.  What I am saying is that relying on these reactions of "intuitive knowing" can lead to serious error and must be subjected to God and His Holy Spirit.

So what is Christian mindfulness in this respect then?  First it lies within our conscience.  God has given all humanity a moral sense that is called conscience.  When your conscience is filled with God-given sincerity, purity, and grace then it is a reliable source of intuitive knowing.  Note the source though.  It is God given.  It is His gift.  In Eastern mindfulness the source is within in a person, in Christian mindfulness the source is God. 

Sincerity is the singleness of purpose.  In this case the best interest of others.  We often do not mind engaging in seemingly altruistic behavior as long as there is a benefit for us.  This is a dual purpose and does not have a singleness of purpose that is captured by sincerity.  At its root effective action for the Christian is acting without regard for any ulterior motive.  This can be hard to do but it is essential for effective action.

Purity is similar.  It is acting genuinely.  Your motives and interests are apparent clearly understood by others.  There is no hidden agenda that you have.  You are acting above board.  This effective action allows you to put energy into the action over trying to keep your true interests and self hidden. 

Grace involves invoking God's favor for you and then turning His grace into your relationships with others.  You become a vessel or channel through which God's grace flowing to you, though you, into the lives of others.  God's grace is effective.  If you want to have effective action in your life then you have to allow His Grace to flow through your actions. 

Motivated by Love

Righteous Father! The world has not known You. However, I have known You, and these have known that You sent Me.  I made Your name known to them and will make it known, so the love You have loved Me with may be in them and I may be in them.  John 17:25-26 (HCSB)

There is enough material on the subject of love in the Bible to blog on the rest of my life.  Suffice it to say love is a very important subject.  Effective action is motivated by love.  1 Corinthians 13 has been called the love chapter.  I encourage you to look at the whole passage (Here is a blog on the subject).  I want to zero in on verse 7 as this verse to me gives the fuel to effective action.

[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Cor 13:7 (HCSB)

When we bear all things it requires in my estimation that we receive it from God.  That is not to say that God is the author of our suffering (remember Job), but that He is the Redeemer of our suffering.  God can take any event in our life good or bad and turn it into a blessing.  Do you believe that?  In this case effective action bears others in love.  Even when our flesh tells us to take revenge or to give up.  Notice the difference between what we tend to do (I put up with them) and what this verse says (I carry them). 

Believing all things is not the same as being blissfully ignorant.  It is an attitude that holds others in positive regard and sees their expressed thoughts, feelings, and beliefs as honest and reasonable representation of their true thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.  There is something that is incredibly validating when someone believes not just in your words, but in you as a person.  When a person can look at your shortcomings and still hold you up as worthy of their love, that is believing all things. 

Hope.  Without hope effective action becomes meaningless.  Hope brings meaning and purpose to our lives and to our action. 

Endurance of both things that are happening to you as well as completing the task before you are needed for effective action.  Endurance requires a certain degree of flexibility.  Without flexibility things break (ie they do not endure under the pressure). 

Fulfilling God's Purpose

Carry one another's burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  Gal 6:2 (HCSB)

It is no accident that fulfilling the law of Christ is closely aligned with love.  Christ died for sinful humanity that he might bear our sin and remove our guilt.  We ought to die to self that we might bear another's burden and gently restore him/her to God.  This is "Christian" effectiveness.  It is easy to contrast with the opposite attitude which is unhelpful, harsh, punitive, judgment.  Generally speaking this sort of attitude pushes people away and does not lead them to repentance.  That is to say it is ineffective. 

 

There is much more I could write about effective action, but this post is long enough as it is.  So perhaps the Lord will allow me to come back to this subject in the near future.  God Bless you all.  I believe that you can be effective in what you do informed by God's word, empowered by His Spirit.