Speak the Truth in Love (Good Communication)

Speaking the truth in love requires good communication in my estimation.  If you are just talking to get your point across then really you are just using persuasive speech and not solid relationship affirming communication.  Persuasive speech does not require an intimacy of relationship.  It does not require mutual understanding.  It does not even require the person speaking to take a turn listening.  Good good communication does require these though. Let's take a closer look at the process of good communication.

Speak the Truth in Love (The context)

Have you ever noticed that when someone says “I am speaking the truth in love” that it is more to make themselves feel better than a genuine sentiment? I would be more accurate to say, “You are not going to like what I have to say so I am going to say I am doing it in love to make myself feel better.” This expression is often used in relationships that have conflict. What does it mean to “Speak the truth in love”? The reference is to Ephesians 4:14-16

I Should, I will, or God Wills?

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I have been thinking upon “I should” and “I will.”
“I should”
“I should” is either self-hatred or a way to not feel so bad for saying I won’t. In Self-Hatred should becomes a never ending list of things to condemn yourself. “I should lose weight,” “I should exercise,” “I should spend more time with family.” These are some of my should’s (you can identify your own I am sure). They subtly eat away at the general well-being of the soul. Taking all of our shortcomings, failings, and disappointments in life we can turn them into should.

It is self-hatred because should just eats away and eats away and eats away until the will to do anyting is gone. You become resigned to this death sentence on the soul. This self-condemnation does not change you or what you do. “I should” never leads to any change just greater and longer lists of discouragement.

Today nobody will stop with faith; they all go further
~Fear and Trembling Kierkegaard

I wonder where they are going?  I have been reflecting on all the straining and striving that we are prone to do.  BTW I think all of us are guilty at some level.  Contentment is a strange word.  Satisfaction with the way things are seems to be an unacceptable state.  How can I possibly be satisfied when so much is wrong around me?  Much is to be made of acceptance as well.  However acceptance is a mood away from complacency and that certainly does not seem to be acceptable either. 

Levels of Intimacy In Marriage

Well I have not posted in quite a while.  But that does not mean that I have given up on blogging.  Maybe I can get back into the swing of things.  A lot has happened in my life, but that will have to wait for another post perhaps.  I wanted to talk about levels of intimacy in marriage.
In my counseling experience I have learned that there can be different types of intimacy (Emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual; See Here).  With each of these there can be levels or depth of intimacy as well.  I have attempted to sort out how to communicate this to the couples that I work with in building a loving and caring marriage.  I have come up with a very complex way of looking at it that would take a book to explain.  Most people lose interest if it cannot be explained simply.  The other day I was attempting to explain levels of intimacy and I came up with three words that help clarify this in a very simple way.  These words are Thoughtfulness, Sensitivity, and Understanding.  Each of these represents different actions.  Each of them also can represent greater intimacy.

Completed Joy Sermon

Here is my sermon from 5/1/11: Completed Joy

Leading Others Into a Covenant Relationship With God

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There are times that God calls us to call others into a relationship with Him.  Through out the Bible God establishes a covenant with people that follow Him. 

All the Lord's ways show faithful love and truth to those who keep His covenant and decrees. Because of Your name, Yahweh, forgive my sin, for it is great.
Psalms 25:10-11 (HCSB)
The secret counsel of the Lord is for those who fear Him, and He reveals His covenant to them. My eyes are always on the Lord, for He will pull my feet out of the net.
Psalms 25:14-15 (HCSB)
"As for Me, this is My covenant with them," says the Lord: "My Spirit who is on you, and My words that I have put in your mouth, will not depart from your mouth, or from the mouth of your children, or from the mouth of your children's children, from now on and forever," says the Lord.
Isaiah 59:21 (HCSB)
Brothers, I'm using a human illustration. No one sets aside or makes additions to even a human covenant that has been ratified. Now the promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. He does not say "and to seeds," as though referring to many, but referring to one, and to your seed, who is Christ. And I say this: The law, which came 430 years later, does not revoke a covenant that was previously ratified by God and cancel the promise. For if the inheritance is from the law, it is no longer from the promise; but God granted it to Abraham through the promise.
Galatians 3:15-18 (HCSB)

A covenant is a promise between to parties to act in some way toward the other.  God uses covenants to establish His action toward people and to describe how people should act toward Him.  Some covenants are conditional meaning that if one part of the covenant is upheld there is a promise for some favorable action toward the other (usually taking the form of blessing).  Some covenants are unconditional (usually relying solely on the Character of God). 

Moses was a mediator of a Covenant:

These serve as a copy and shadow of the heavenly things, as Moses was warned when he was about to complete the tabernacle. For God said, Be careful that you make everything according to the pattern that was shown to you on the mountain. But Jesus has now obtained a superior ministry, and to that degree He is the mediator of a better covenant, which has been legally enacted on better promises.
Hebrews 8:5-6 (HCSB)

Now that we have a little background let's look at how Moses led others into this Covenant relationship.

The Call

"You have seen what I did to the Egyptians and how I carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to Me. Now if you will listen to Me and carefully keep My covenant, you will be My own possession out of all the peoples, although all the earth is Mine, and you will be My kingdom of priests and My holy nation." These are the words that you are to say to the Israelites.
Exodus 19:4-6 (HCSB)

God had a special message that He wanted Moses to bring to the people.  He was establishing a special relationship with the people of Israel.  He desired that they would be set apart and to carefully follow Him.  Moses brought this call to the people.

The Response

After Moses came back, he summoned the elders of the people and set before them all these words that the Lord had commanded him. Then all the people responded together, "We will do all that the Lord has spoken." So Moses brought the people's words back to the Lord.
Exodus 19:7-8 (HCSB)

When you enter into a covenant relationship there has to be a response.  You have to make a commitment to the covenant.  If there is no commitment there is no covenant (unless the covenant is unilateral by God).  The people had to make this commitment in order to proceed to the covenant relationship with God. 

The Cleansing

And the Lord told Moses, "Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow. They must wash their clothes and be prepared by the third day, for on the third day the Lord will come down on Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people."
Exodus 19:10-11 (HCSB)
Then Moses came down from the mountain to the people and consecrated them, and they washed their clothes.
Exodus 19:14 (HCSB)

Notice where the consecration comes from.  It comes down from above.  It also is God who is consecrating the people.  Moses had no authority to consecrate the people.  He could only be a messenger bringing the message from God to be consecrated.  Moses could no more make the people Holy than to make water come out of a rock.  God did that.  Notice also that following the concretion there was a symbolic washing.  So we see this pattern then:  Consecration comes down from God to the people through a message delivered by Moses.  The people receive the message by faith and symbolically confirm this commitment through a ritual washing.  Hmmm this sounds very familiar. 

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To Acknowledge Christ Means...

Here is my sermon from last Sunday:  To Acknowledge Christ means...

Here is the slides to go with the sermon: To Acknowledge Christ

Practical Intercession

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Jethro (Moses' father-in-law) saw something that Moses could not see himself. He was certain that Moses was going to burn out leading the people of Israel and they would grow tired of his leadership and how long it took to get answers (Exodus 18:18). Jethro offered wise counsel. He did not challenge the authority of God. In fact he called upon it. His was more counsel as to the practical more than the spiritual. I am glad that God puts people into our lives to offer practical advice. In this way God used Jethro to intercede for Moses. See if you can follow my line of thinking.

First Jethro acknowledged Yahweh as God (Exodus 18:10-11). Then he watched and paid attention to what Moses was doing (Exodus 18:14). He noticed that Moses had a need. Moses was not aware of this need, but Jethro noticed it none the less. He pointed out the need (Exodus 18:17-18). Then he offered a solution as to what Moses could do about it.

Now listen to me; I will give you some advice, and God be with you. You be the one to represent the people before God and bring their cases to Him. Instruct them about the statutes and laws, and teach them the way to live and what they must do. But you should select from all the people able men, God-fearing, trustworthy, and hating bribes. Place them over the people as commanders of thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens. They should judge the people at all times. Then they can bring you every important case but judge every minor case themselves. In this way you will lighten your load, and they will bear it with you. If you do this, and God so directs you, you will be able to endure, and also all these people will be able to go home satisfied.
Exodus 18:19-23 (HCSB)

Being used of God does not always correspond to what we would consider spiritual. Often God uses us in very practical ways to minister to other's needs. What is required is for us to be open to the possibility that God might use us to help another out in a practical way or that God might be using others to help us in some practical way. This could take the form of advise. It could also take the form of meeting some basic need. But what ever it might be you will be used of God to intercede for others not in prayer alone, but also in the very natural gifts, talents, and spiritual gifts that God has given you. Often the practical is more spiritual than we might imagine; Consider:

If a brother or sister is without clothes and lacks daily food and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well," but you don't give them what the body needs, what good is it? In the same way faith, if it doesn�t have works, is dead by itself. But someone will say, "You have faith, and I have works." Show me your faith without works, and I will show you faith from my works.
James 2:15-18 (HCSB)

You see Jethro had faith (Exodus 18:11-12), but his faith was shown from his practical advice that he gave to Moses. What is more the practical advice taken by Moses freed up Moses to do what God had planned next; the giving of the Law. Had Moses continued administering (lead) as he was before Jethro's visit he would not have been able to minister (serve) as he did after Jethro's visit. In this way Jethro's practical advice enabled Moses to fulfill his spiritual calling (Exodus 3:12).

We need to be open to what God may be doing in our lives either by way offering practical help to others as Jethro did or in receiving practical help from others in order for God to use us to minister more effectively as Moses did. In this way God can use the practical to bring forth the spiritual.

May God Richly Bless You

~BJ

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Sermon: In the Midst of Darkness 3/13/11

Here is the MP3 for the sermon that I preached last week.  It loosely follows this post: In the midst of dark times.