Saturday, September 5, 2009

Personal Note

Human being asking Universe...Image by CLUC via Flickr I took a few more days off this week to do some self-awareness and discovered that what I was missing was awareness of God.  It seems that I was doing some fighting again rather than trusting God.  God has been so good to me.  Every time I have a need He has provided in some manner.  At times I get caught up in my circumstances get my eyes off of Him and thereby increase my suffering.  Why is it that we humans have such a natural affinity to blame God when things are not going the way we want?  Worse why do we question Him when He has proved Himself over and over? 

There was a few of areas of my life that I have been lacking mindfulness in the last couple of months.  I was in a mental fog in regard to these.  In the last couple of days God has answered my questioning prayer (Thank you God for being so gracious to my presumptuousness).  In one of those prayers I was so bold as to say "I am doing what you called me to do, Why are you not taking care of me and my family!"  As I type those words I am a bit ashamed to admit I prayed them now. 

There are times when we put our head in the sand when there is something that we do not want to deal with.  In a previous post I talked about the types of mindlessness.  I think I can now add another that I just realized,  intentional mindlessness.  Sometimes we willfully avoid something that we do not want to look at.  It can take the form of escapism, simple mindmindlessness, busyness, egoism, but at its core is a willful avoidance of something that is painful to think about.  I discovered this week that if you do this long enough then you can turn it into a lack of awareness of what God is really doing in your life. 

When I took my head out of the sand and looked at the reality of the situation,  within the next 24 hours He showed me that my perception was way off.  He showed me that not only had he taken care of me, but he also had done more than I had expected.  God had been working amazingly and instead of praising Him I was questioning Him!  Lord forgive me I do praise You for your mighty work in my life.  With this new awareness I was able to more effectively deal with the problem.  I realize that one of the biggest factors was my intentional mindlessness.  If I had paid better attention the problem of perception as well as the actual problems it caused in my life could have been avoided.

Have a Blessed Weekend!