Friday, February 26, 2010

Interaction of Three Dimensions of Trust

These tables gives an idea of how the three dimensions Trustworthiness, Confidence, and Entrusting interact with each other and personality characteristics from my perspective.  The risk of such a chart is that it implies categories.  Let me just say that most of these are on a continuum (scale).  For example you could say high medium or low confidence.  You could also make the case for high, medium, and low trustworthiness.  However, for these charts I am going to stick to two levels on each dimension. 

Warning: these tables are speculative and should be taken with a healthy degree of skepticism.  I do welcome feedback below about your degree of agreement or disagreement with what I have put here as well as any suggestions to improve the model.

Choice Not to Entrust

  High Trustworthiness Low Trustworthiness
High Confidence in other Pre-trust (cautious optimism)

Self
Other fears (eg fear of commitment)
Low or unresolved trauma
Low self-worth

Other
Confusion
Gentle attempts to understand
Naive Distrust 

Self
High risk for being hurt if trust is given
Poor boundary
Naive

Other
Looking for right moment to take advantage
predatory
Self-interest
Low Confidence In other Fear Based Distrust 

Self
Fear of being hurt
Possible History of trauma relationship(s)
Need for healing
Looking for evidence to not trust

Other
Regretted breaking of trust
High levels of frustration
Feeling attacked (defensive)
Desire to redeem self
Feeling helpless at times
Appropriate Distrust

Self

Healthy Boundary
Healthy sense of self
Good Judge of Character



Other
Likely to move on once it is realized one is not entrusted 
Anger
Can be vengeful

Choice to Entrust

  High Trustworthiness Low Trustworthiness
High Confidence in other Appropriate Trust (Healthy Relationship)

Self
Love and Respect
Feeling secure
Openness
High intimacy




Other
Satisfied in relationship
Mutual Love and respect
Aware of others needs
Blind Trust


Self
Possibly blind to other's Character
Poor self-image
low self esteem
Victim stance
"Need" to be in a relationship
Poor judge of Character

Other
Taking advantage
deception for personal gain
Self-focused
High need for control
Low Confidence in other Appropriate Risk taking


Self
Trust can quickly removed at slightest offense
Lack of intimacy
seems to hold back something
Desire to control risks 

Other
Mild to moderate frustration
Moments of impatience otherwise gentle
longing for greater intimacy
willing to wait for restored confidence
Sensitive to needs
Sadomasochistic relationship
(High likelihood of abuse)

Self
self-hatred turned inward
Distorted sense of relationships
Belief in deserve to be punished
feeling trapped or no alternatives


Other
Self Hatred turned outward
Controlling
See others as objects not people
Openly hostile
Lack of respect
Disregard for needs of others

In my next posts I will deal more practically with the tree dimensions of trust.