Anger: The Story of Esther

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Esther is a story of a person that rises above her circumstances to become a powerful influence for the common good.  The subtext though is a story of anger unchecked.  Let's take a look at the subtext and see if there is anything we can learn from this amazing story. 

On the seventh day, when the king was feeling good from the wine, Ahasuerus commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carkas, the seven eunuchs who personally served him, to bring Queen Vashti before him with her royal crown. He wanted to show off her beauty to the people and the officials, because she was very beautiful. But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king's command that was delivered by his eunuchs. The king became furious and his anger burned within him.
Esther 1:10-12 (HCSB)

As we jump into this story we right off the bat see vice that is so often associated with anger.  Alcohol has  been well researched and implicated in aggressive behavior.  Alcohol is involved in half of all murders, rapes and assaults by some estimates¹.  The Bible describes alcohol as a brawler (Prov 20:1).  So King Ahasuerus went from feeling good buzz to being angry very quickly. 

The second vice here is sexual provocation.  The king was not interested in treating his wife as a beautiful fine vessel, but rather as a crude display of sexuality for the entertainment of his guests.  He sought to dishonor her by making her into a sex show. 

Queen Vashti appropriately refused.   However the king's pride was wounded and he became angry that she did not obey his command.  His anger was fury and burning.  This is the third vice: Prideful anger. 

As the story continues we learn something else about anger.  Often anger is an expression of the desire to control others in a relationship. 

For the queen's action will become public knowledge to all the women and cause them to despise their husbands and say, 'King Ahasuerus ordered Queen Vashti brought before him, but she did not come.' Before this day is over, the noble women of Persia and Media who hear about the queen's act will say the same thing to all the king's officials, resulting in more contempt and fury.
Esther 1:17-18 (HCSB)

The root of misogynistic anger is the desire to control women.  The Bible unfortunately has been used to perpetuate this sin against women, but this story stands in testimony against such actions.  Anger is often the response when a person has a misplaced desire to control others.  It is an expression of emotional immaturity in that "I want it, you have it, so give it to me."  It is almost as if the individual never learned while growing up that in order to get along a person has to give a part of themselves contrary to the selfish desires of the flesh.  Notice the perversion of respect here.  My wife dishonored me, by refusing to dishonor herself at my command.  What is more there is a cultural hatred toward women as his wise men are threatened to the point that they want to make an example of the queen. 

The result was that the king deposed the queen and sent a message through out the kingdom announcing his judgment in order that women would "honor their husbands (Est 1:20)."  This is the message then, "My wife refused to be sexual entertainment at my party.  I was angry with her for dishonoring me in this way so I removed her from being queen.  So women you better listen to your husbands and do what they say." 

After a while the King then goes through a drawn out process to select an new Queen.  That person is Esther.  Esther's uncle who raised her is Mordecai. 

During those days while Mordecai was sitting at the King's Gate, Bigthan and Teresh, two eunuchs who guarded the king's entrance, became infuriated and planned to assassinate King Ahasuerus. When Mordecai learned of the plot, he reported it to Queen Esther, and she told the king on Mordecai's behalf. When the report was investigated and verified, both men were hanged on the gallows. This event was recorded in the Historical Record in the king's presence.
Esther 2:21-23 (HCSB)

We do not know what these two eunuchs were angry about, but notice out of their anger hatched a plot to kill the king.  This anger came to the attention of Mordecai who took quick and decisive action to warn the king. 

Next we are introduced to Haman.  Haman is elevated to a high position in the kingdom.  He is very pleased to have others bow down and pay homage to himself.  Mordecai is not pleased to do this and refuses. 

THE JACKASS IN OFFICE

AN Ass carrying an Image in a religious procession, was driven through a town, and all the people who passed by made a low reverence. Upon this, the Ass supposing that they intended this worship for himself, was mightily puffed up, and would not budge another step. But the driver soon laid the stick across his back, saying at the same time, "You silly dolt! it is not you that they reverence, but the Image which you carry."

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. ²

Haman's character was soon to be revealed to the king, but notice his reaction to Mordecai's supposed offence. 

When Haman saw that Mordecai was not bowing down or paying him homage, he was filled with rage.
Esther 3:5 (HCSB)

His rage spilled over into the ethnic hatred that had existed between Haman's people and Mordecai's people.  Haman, a likely descendent of Agag, king of the Amalekites who were the enemies of the Jews (See Est 3:1; 1 Sam 15:8; and Ex 17:8-15), developed a plan to wipe out the Jewish people because Mordecai had refused to bow to him.  He used the King to bring about his plot by getting the king to agree to kill off the Jews because they followed different laws. 

Next Mordecai finds out about the plan.  He goes to Esther to warn her and ask her to talk with the King about this plan.

If you keep silent at this time, liberation and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father's house will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.
Esther 4:14 (HCSB)

Esther agrees to talk with the king and asks that the people to fast while she seeks audience of the King.  She plans a banquet for the king and asks that Haman attend.  Meanwhile...

That day Haman left full of joy and in good spirits. But when Haman saw Mordecai at the King's Gate, and Mordecai didn't rise or tremble in fear at his presence, Haman was filled with rage toward Mordecai. Yet Haman controlled himself and went home.
Esther 5:9-10 (HCSB)

Haman could not let it go so he and his wife plotted:

His wife Zeresh and all his friends told him, "Have them build a gallows 75 feet high. Ask the king in the morning to hang Mordecai on it. Then go to the banquet with the king and enjoy yourself." The advice pleased Haman, so he had the gallows constructed.
Esther 5:14 (HCSB)

The king could not sleep.  He was reading through some records and realized that Mordecai had never been honored for saving his life.  He calls Haman to ask him how he can honor.  Haman seeking to ask the king to hang Mordecai thinks, "Who could the king want to honor but me."  He describes an elaborate plan to honor this person.  The king then orders Haman to bestow this honor on Mordecai.  Haman's anger is turned to bitterness.

He then attends the feast prepared by Esther.  Esther reveals the plot to kill the Jews to the king and then exposes Haman as the author of the plot.  Again:

Angered by this, the king arose from where they were drinking wine and went to the palace garden. Haman remained to beg Queen Esther for his life because he realized the king was planning something terrible for him.
Esther 7:7 (HCSB)

The king returns finding Haman lying on the couch with Esther.  Haman was prostrate begging for his life.  The king however thinks that Haman is attempting to have sex with her.  Wanting to defend her honor and repay for the treachery against the Jews the king decides to hang Haman from the very gallows that Haman had built for Mordecai. 

They hanged Haman on the gallows he had prepared for Mordecai. Then the king's anger subsided.
Esther 7:10 (HCSB)

As the story continues the King gives the Jews the legal right to take up arms and defend themselves.  The crisis of pending genocide is averted and Esther becomes a Jewish national hero. 

What are we to learn from this account?  Anger is a passionate and destructive emotion.  It drives to take action, but that action is not always tempered with sound judgment.  In this case anger led to broken relationship, misogyny, plotting murder, violent racism, and eventual death of one of the angry person.  On that last one the king is believed to be Xerxes I of secular history.  If that is the case then the King was murdered (Matt 26:52).  I believe that we can learn to watch out for anger.  Great evil can come about in our lives if we do not.  We also can learn how Esther in great wisdom handled this angry king in great power of gentleness.  It reminds me of the proverb.

A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.
Proverbs 15:1 (HCSB)

One of the most important things to learn from this account is that anger is ultimately destructive to the person themselves.  Anger unrestrained overpowers the angry man. 

Refrain from anger and give up your rage; do not be agitated-it can only bring harm.
Psalms 37:8 (HCSB)

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it in check.
Proverbs 29:11 (HCSB)

Don't let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 (HCSB)

Let us walk wisely as we discern what to do with this power passion and emotional we call anger.  God Bless You.

 

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1) http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/abuse/a/blacer030616.htm

2) An argosy of fables

Judgment (God's Anger, Our Fear)

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Indignation is anger based on the unworthiness of the object of displeasure.  In the spiritual realm God indignation is roused by sin in our lives.  To be sure God is loving, compassionate, slow to anger, merciful, and gracious.  However His indignation cannot be quenched forever.  This is especially true when we (His children) do not make the decision to remove those things that are evil from our lives.

The fear of the Lord is this: wisdom. And to turn from evil is understanding.
Job 28:28 (HCSB)

Fear and anger are kin emotions.  One leads to attack the other to running away.  We trample on the sovereignty of God in our modern sensibility.  We exchange the truth "there is none righteous no not one" (Ps 14:1-3; Rom 3:10-12) for the lie "men are basically good."  What is even more astounding is that it is a senseless lie.  Just open your eyes to see that evil is alive and well in human activity.  Listen with your ears to hear heart wrenching stories of the defenseless falling pray to evil.  What then can we say?  Often we will push the evil away by declaring it to be some form of psychopathology.  "Bad people have bad brains" has become the new form of "The devil made me do it."  Well if that is the case then we all have bad brains to one degree or another.  Does that excuse evil then?  Certainly not.  Yet what about our sense of justice.  Can we legitimately hold a person that has killed multiple times accountable if he has a "bad brain"? 

My take is this, that we would find differences in the brain of a person who is a serial killer is not particularly surprising.  Not anymore surprising than say finding out that a musicians brain is different from the norm.  You see our brain is a collection of learning experiences.  A serial killer has unique experiences from the rest of the population.  One would expect that there would be a difference.  Defining evil in terms of faulty biology though is really dangerous.  It may be hard for us to empathize with a serial killer, so what about an adulterer, drunkard, thief, liar,  gossip, and so on.  What if some day we discover they all have "bad brains" as well.  Does it make them any less culpable for their sin?

My point is this.  Righteous indignation is rooted in God's righteousness.  God has provided a standard for living in the conscience of all of us.  Every day our conscience convicts us regarding moral issues.  This conscience can become so seared from repeated violations that it loses its effect, yet it stands in conviction of our selves.  We are self-condemned with regard to morality.  Further, God's standard for living is also recorded in the Bible.  I would focus in particular to the section found in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7).  In these three chapters we find a life long work to achieve the righteousness of God.  Yet even if that were possible to achieve you would have no way to erase the mistakes that you have already made up to this point. 

Justice demands payment for wrong doing.  It is embedded in the very consciousness of our mind.  Certainly our sense of justice can be distorted, but we do not tolerate well when that sense of justice has been violated.  We become indignant and demand our rights or the rights of others be up held.  We demand that perpetrators be brought to justice.  The criminal offences be punished and civil offences lead to restitution.   If we in our feeble ways and imperfection can demand justice then how arrogant is it to suppose that God in is almighty ways and in his perfection is some how evil when he judges? 

Fear God indeed.  We ought to pay attention.  The righteous anger of God is being stored up against the ungodly and unrepentant.  We too ought to be gravely offended when we see the justice of God being perverted whether within the church or outside.  Anger is purifying if it is according the the righteousness and justice of God.  This is fiery rhetoric to be sure, but God's anger is a consuming fire. 

Why Do They Hate Christians

 

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This morning I will be sharing from Matthew Chapter 10:21-25.

On Sept. 19, Islamic extremists broke into the Philadelphia Pentecostal Church in Sharif Town, Karachi City, Pakistan, and set fire to Bibles, hymnals, a musical instrument and a table, according to The Voice of the Martyrs contacts.

The church, which is led by Pastors George Rakha and Peter Shahzad, was established six years ago and is actively involved in Muslim evangelism. "At 4 a.m., some fanatics broke the lock of the church door and entered the church," VOM contacts reported. "They burned three crosses, nine Bibles, five books of worship songs, a table and a musical instrument Tabla [local drum]."
Source: Voice of the Martyrs

Why do people hate Christians?

You will be hated by everyone because of My name. But the one who endures to the end will be delivered.
Mt 10:22

Then they will hand you over for persecution, and they will kill you. You will be hated by all nations because of My name.
Mt 24:9

Then many will take offense, betray one another and hate one another.
Mt 24:10

And you will be hated by everyone because of My name. But the one who endures to the end will be delivered.
Mk 13:13

You are blessed when people hate you, when they exclude you, insult you, and slander your name as evil because of the Son of Man.
Lk 6:22

You will be hated by everyone because of My name,
Lk 21:17

The world cannot hate you, but it does hate Me because I testify about it--that its deeds are evil.
Jn 7:7

If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you.
Jn 15:18

If you were of the world, the world would love ?you as? its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you.
Jn 15:19

If I had not done the works among them that no one else has done, they would not have sin. Now they have seen and hated both Me and My Father.
Jn 15:24

I have given them Your word. The world hated them because they are not of the world, as I am not of the world.
Jn 17:14

Do not be surprised, brothers, if the world hates you.
1Jn 3:13

Why then are we surprised, shocked, or otherwise aghast when we discover that the world hates Christians. One reason is that we have lived insulated lives. We have not felt the heartache of losing a loved one for the faith. We have not felt the sting of a whip against our back. We have not known true poverty because no one will give us work or buy our goods due to our faith. I don't think we would know what to do if we felt the full weight of the hatred the world has for us. We have been lulled into a slumber in our faith. Wake up! Church wake up. If we knew these things. If we woke up to the attempted terror against the faith then we would not be surprised to find out that the world hates us. This hatred takes three main forms: Division, persecution, and slander.

Division is the first form of hatred that a Christian can endure. This division is created the moment that we give our lives to the Lord. As we become more and more like Christ and as we deepen our walk with Him then this division grows. For some it is a gulf. For some it leads to persecution, but the division is there. At times we as Christians act as if the division does not exist. At other times we try to "build bridges" to overcome the division. We use things like "Blessed are the peace makers" as the the banner of reconciliation. Do not get me wrong. We are to reach out and minister to the hurting. We are to heal the sick, bind up the wounded, give drink to the thirsty. The divisions will come. They cannot be avoided. They cannot be undone. If you have any inclination to pretend that there is not a division let me just share this with you. You are choosing to dwell in a spiritual no man's land. For those of you who do not know what a no man's land is: it is the space that exists between two warring troops in a battle field. The reason it is called no man's land is that it is either not occupied or it is so dangerous that no man would dare venture into it. And yet to live as if no division exists between Christians and unbelievers is foolish. You will get caught in the crossfire. I will talk in a moment about our reaction to this division, but let us not be so foolish as to say it does not exist or that we can wish it away like some silly notion. It is a fact of our walk with God that there will be division.

The second item is persecution. This persecution comes in many forms. The essential quality of persecution is that you are being chased. That is to say someone is actively seeking your harm. We must not be caught up in the so called persecution complex. That is to say we are being persecuted merely because something does not go our way. This may be the result of the natural division that exists between the believing and unbelieving world. But, to be persecuted is to be pursued, chased, and harassed by those that would harm you. This harm can be legal, physical, financial, familial, social, and political. There is growing concern that we will see persecution in the United States. In some respects we have seen the early stages of persecution to come into our lives. Around the world though persecution of Christians is in full force. Every three minutes somewhere in the world a Christian has paid the ultimate sacrifice for their faith by giving their life in martyrdom. That means that from the beginning of this service until I finish my sermon it is likely that 20 Christians will have been martyred. Listen dear friends. We are so caught up in our trivial and minor discomforts in our lives. 20 Christians will have given their lives up for Christ. Think about that. 14,000 plus people die a month to name the name of Christ. Hundreds everyday giving their last breath and committing their souls to God in heaven. I do not say this to offend, horrify, or harass you. I say this because we are a-s-l-e-e-p ASLEEP! Wake up, persecution is here in our time. Our thoughts of persecution for ourselves are phantoms of the real thing. Why are we so relaxed in this day an age when nearly 500 of our brothers and sisters in Christ die in the hands of a world that hates them. Yet the Word of God says do not be surprised when this happens. The world hates Christians! The Hatred is growing. Over the last two thousand years over 70 million Christians have been martyred. A staggering figure. Yet nearly 46 million of those died in the last 100 years. That is 65% of the total number of Martyrs occurring in the last century.

A member of an underground Christian movement in Somalia has been murdered by Muslim militants in a continuing campaign to eliminate converts from Islam. Area sources said al Shabaab militants entered the house of Osman Abdullah Fataho in Afgoye, 30 kilometres from Mogadishu, at 10:30 the night of July 21 and shot him dead in front of his wife and children. Fataho was a long-time Christian deeply involved in the activities of the small, secret Christian community, sources said. Area Christians said they suspected someone had informed the militants of Fataho's faith. The assailants abducted his wife and four children, later releasing her on the condition that she surrenders the little ones to be trained as soldiers. "We know they have taken the children to brain-wash them, to change their way of life from Christian to Muslim and to teach them the Koran," said one source. Abducted were Ali Daud (5), Fatuma Safia (7), Sharif Ahmed (10) and Nur Said (15).

A Christian leader who attended Fataho's funeral on July 22 said that one of the slain man's relatives noted that the militants had targeted him because he had left Islam. The incident has spread fear among the faithful in the lawless country, much of which lies in the grip of ruthless insurgents' intent on rooting out any person professing Christianity. Leaders of the Christian underground movement have been forced to flee their homes to avoid being killed by the insurgents, said one leader who, along with seven others, has temporarily moved to an undisclosed area. (Source: Compass Direct)

http://www.persecution.net/arch3.htm

Do not be surprised when the world hates us for Christ has told us ahead of time that this would happen.

The third way that Christianity is hated is slander. I would say that this is the most common form of hatred that Christians in the United States experience. There is no shortage of people to verbally attack the faith and the faithful. We are portrayed as foolish backward people with morals and values of a long past dying religion. Countless attempts are made to make Christianity look foolish. We are also not doing Christ any favors in our actions. Our misdeeds become ammunition in this word assault on Christians.

Do not be surprised when they speak evil of us. In fact do not be surprised when they make up lies about us. We are hated. They will hate us.

Pentecostal pastor Ilmurad Nurliev faces criminal charges of "large-scale swindling," according to Forum 18 News.

The charges carry a maximum penalty of five years imprisonment and possible confiscation of property. Pastor Nurliev was arrested at his home in southeastern Turkmenistan on Aug. 27. Three women who previously attended Nurliev's church wrote statements stating the pastor took money from them. Nurliev's wife and other church members vigorously deny these charges, saying police pressured the three to write the statements and that they now regret doing so. Another church member was threatened that if she does not testify against Pastor Nurliev, her husband, who is not a church member, will be fired from his job.

We may not face the harsh reality that we could lose our job for our faith, but it is certain that there are those that want to marginalize, put down, and silence the Gospel message. That is the reality of following Christ. Do not enter into Christian faith expecting to win a popularity contest. Especially if you plan to uphold the Bible and it's teachings. The world hates God, the world hates Christ, The world will hate us.

In the face of such great hate what is it that we as Christians are to do?

Generally we are called to love others consider:

You have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I tell you, don't resist an evildoer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. As for the one who wants to sue you and take away your shirt, let him have your coat as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to the one who asks you, and don't turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. "You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..."
Matthew 5:38-44 (HCSB)

Loving others will lead us to take three actions: endure, spread the Gospel, and conform to Christ.

You will be hated by everyone because of My name. But the one who endures to the end will be delivered.
Matthew 10:22 (HCSB)

So often I must admit my endurance is lacking in the Christian walk. In fact it often seems that my endurance is for those things that are pursuit of my own happiness and my own pleasure. I know that I am not alone in this. Endurance requires us to set our hearts in the right place. It takes a full commitment to finish strong. Too often we start out with the best of intentions, but quickly fall into bad habits and poor choices. Endurance on the other hand requires that we set these all aside and run the race set before us.

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne.
Hebrews 12:1-2 (HCSB)

We see in this passage several points that will lead us into endurance. First recognize that we are not alone in this race. We have people here on earth and those that are in heaven, and most importantly we have the Holy Spirit in us as a witness. Trust in these. Rely on these. Set your mind on these. Loneliness is a sure way to sap your endurance. Second lay aside the things that are getting the way of enduring. This means that any evil sinful and selfish way that gets in the way must be set aside. What is more it could mean that some very good things need to be set aside if these things get in the ay of enduring. Third we have to keep our eyes upon our Lord Jesus Christ. Remember he was disposed and shamed, but endured the cross on our behalf. Your eyes are a window to your soul. Setting your eyes on Christ brings light to your life.

To endure is not enough. We are not called to live separate lives from unbelievers. Don't get me wrong we are to separate ourselves from the world's sinful ways. But we are to be in the world that we might spread the Gospel. Jesus pointed out in this passage that hatred from unbelievers actually moved the Gospel along. When we come across those that do not hear us and actively chase us with persecution it is time to move on. You see God prepares the heart, God gives the message, God gives the faith, God convicts the heart. The only part a sinner has is to repent and believe in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. We are but messengers. The Commander in Chief our Lord has said if they will not received the message they have not rejected us, but rather they have rejected Him. This means that we are to continue on to the next town. All to often we are surprised when we are rejected and so we give up sharing the message. Do not lose heart. Call upon God with a pure heart and seek where God would have you go next. We are to share this message with all who will hear it.

After endurance and spreading the Gospel comes the hardest of all the tasks that we are to accomplish in the face of the world's hatred. We are to conform to the image of Christ. We already talked about loving others. In this way we become like Christ. When we recognize the needs of others and then minister to that need we conform to the image of Christ. When we preach the Kingdom of Heaven in the face of great opposition we conform to the image of Christ. When we walking in purity of heart and sincerity of motive and gentleness of spirit we conform to the image of Christ. In short if the world hates us because we have done something wrong then we have received a just reward. On the other hand if the world hates us because we conform to the image of Christ then we have something to celebrate.

In the end there will come a judgment. Jerusalem was judged for not recognizing Christ in the Day of her visitation. This destruction occurred some 40 years after the death and resurrection of Our Lord. Leading up to that day the Gospel was going forth throughout Israel. In fact the persecuted Church spread the gospel throughout Asia Minor. Even today it continues. It seems that the surest way for the world to encourage the spread of the Gospel is to persecute Christians. This will continued until the end of the age and will culminate in the Gospel being preached to every nation every tribe. To God be the Glory! Amen.

So what should we say in conclusion. Well first we need to recognize that a world that hates Christianity is to be expected. More often than not Christianity divides families and friends, is persecuted, and is slandered. As we consider this let us not lose sight of those brothers and sisters in Christ around the world that are on the front-lines of this persecution. Let us keep them near our thoughts so as to lift them up in prayer and in our support. When we respond to those that hate us we must always remember Christ's command to love our enemies. Really love is the path forward for endurance, spreading the Gospel, and conforming to the image of Christ. Let us pray.

Surrender

I had a chance to share a song with the church this last Sunday.  You can hear the song Undone by the group FFH here.  The song spoke to me the first time I heard it.  Surrender is not something that we typically focus on in our lives.  It runs against the grain of our natural humanity.  It is taken as a weakness to the natural man.  Spiritually though surrender is strength.  This truth is Spiritually discerned.  That is to say that it can only be understood with the aid of God's Holy Spirit.  It goes something like this. 

There once was a man that was angry.  He had a hard life.  He was not very popular growing up.  He was socially awkward and did not have any close friends.  He was often the target of taunts.  He even was assaulted at times by other boys that disrespected him.   The physical aspect of the assaults were not nearly as bad as the emotional damage.  He learned to hate people.  People are not to be trusted under any circumstance what so ever.  He lived his life not trusting people beyond what it took to get his basic needs met in this life.  His anger and bitterness grew with every passing year. 

In time he met a woman.  She was very outgoing.  You have heard that opposites attract well in this case you could not come up with a greater opposite than this.  He was shocked at first that someone so out going would even take an interest in him (a recluse).  They met in a coffee shop.  He was sitting working on his laptop finishing up some last minute changes for a presentation he was going to do later that day.  She saw him there typing away and decided to walk over to him.  She asked him what he was doing.  I am not sure if he was distracted with his work so his guard was down, but he talked with her when normally he would have chased her off with a gruff answer as if to say, "leave me alone." 

They hit it off and became good friends.  They would regularly meet at the coffee shop they met in.  As he let his guard down he found himself becoming more and more fond of her.  She also like him.  She would always say, "You make me think.  So many people just want to talk about the weather or sports, but when I am with you I feel like I can talk about anything."  As time passed their relationship became romantic.  He overcame his awkwardness with a deep sincerity that the woman had never known.  Everything was perfect. 

This story does not have a Hollywood ending though.  After a year of dating the man asked his girlfriend to marry.  She accepted.  They wanted to get married soon, but there was many plans to be made.  After what seemed to be an eternity (but was only 6 months) the day was quickly approaching.  The following week they were to be married and start their lives together. 

He got the call about 11:30 that evening.  "We have to talk" a shaky voice said on the other end of the line. 

"Is everything OK?"

"No it is not OK, but I don't want to tell you over the phone.  Can you meet me now?"

They set up a meeting at the coffee shop.  Unfortunately the shop was closed.  Just as well for what happened next. 

As he sat in the car with her his head was swimming with what could possibly be so wrong.  He greatest fear was that she was going to say that she did not want to get married.  He did not understand.

She said, "This is the hardest thing I have ever had to say.  You are the sweetest man on the whole earth and you deserve to have someone much better than me?"

"No that is not true.  Just tell me I am sure we can work through anything."

"I'm pregnant." 

At that moment his body became flush with a rush of adrenaline.  The kind of rush that makes the world go silent.  She had much more to say, but he could not hear her.  It was as if someone had plugged his ears and he could only see her mouth move.  After a few moments of this he could not even focus on her face as his world felt like a spinning merry go round.  Only in this case he could not get off the ride.  He knew she had been with another man.  They agreed to be old fashioned and not have sex until they were married.  And now she was pregnant.  He was snapped back into reality with, "... and that is why I have decided we cannot get married, I am sorry."  He just sat there with a swirl of emotions that cannot be adequately described by words.  He was silent. 

"I am going to go now.  I am so sorry.  I know you will make someone happy someday."

Alone, hurt, devastated, he began to weep.  His weeping turned to bitterness and anger.  He said to himself, "Once again it goes to show you that people are not to be trusted.  How could I have been such a fool.   Never again.  Never again will I let someone hurt me that way."

He spent the next 10 years alone.  He did not mind that much.  He found some companionship with a German Shepard that he rescued from the pound.  Not a day went by though that he did not think about how people had let him down.  His bitterness consumed him.  He was angry and contentious.  No one wanted to be around him and he was OK with that.  He wondered if that was all there was to life.  Let down your guard only to be devastated.  He began to wrestle within himself to find a way out of his mean life.  He tried many things, but to no avail.  Everything seemed meaningless.  He would on occasion remember that year with his girlfriend.  He recalled the good times they had which would make his pain all the more unbearable. 

Then one afternoon at that same coffee shop a young woman walked up to him.  She must have been in her early 20s he guessed.  He was much older than her so he did not see her as a threat.  He talked with her and thought to himself, "She seems so lively and upbeat, clearly she has not experience real life yet."  Then he grew tired of the conversation and spoke in a manner he had many times before to end the conversation.  "Life is only pain, misery, and suffering.  I ought to know I am the most miserable person on the earth."  Usually people would say a few more polite cliches  and then walk away.  He had expected her to do the same.  But she did not.

"What horrible thing must have happened to you to come up with such a hopeless philosophy in life?"

"You would not understand."

"Yeah your probably right, but I would like to hear about it just the same."

He told her the whole story of growing up, falling in love, and being betrayed.  "So you see there is nothing really good in this life."

"You need to surrender" She replied. 

"What?"

"You need to surrender your life."

He thought that this must be some kind of scene out of the twilight zone.  Or some bizarre nightmare that he would wake up from at any minute.  "No offence honey, but that has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard in my life."

"Yeah, I used to think the same as you.  It seemed pretty stupid to me also at first."  She went on to share how she had been horribly abused as a child and how her anger consumed her to the point she contemplated suicide. 

"What changed?"  He asked

"I surrendered." 

"I don't get it."

"I surrendered all my sorrows, anger, desires for revenge, the need to see justice done.  I put them all on the Cross of Jesus Christ." 

"Great" He thought, "She is one of those religious nut jobs."

"I figured that as long as I was holding on to my sorrow, anger, right to justice and revenge I was making my spirit sick.  I had a spiritual sickness that made me bitter and hateful toward the world.  To be honest I was even angry with God." 

He was unsure of what to say.  She had just described him perfectly. 

"Hey even our meeting here today was not an accident.  I was praying that God would give me someone to encourage and then I saw you here and now--  Well God want you to know that he loves you and cares for you.  He is ready to take your burdens once you are willing to surrender them.  He did for me I am sure he could do it for you."

I wonder is there anyone out there that would read this that needs to surrender?  Is there some anger, bitterness, addiction, broken relationship, secret sin, fear, painful memory and so on that needs to be given up.  Maybe holding on to it has made your "spirit sick."  God is there for you.  Not to rescue out of the brokenness, but through it.  Surrender is the strongest thing you can do!

God Bless You

What is missing? The Blessing!

Image via Wikipedia

I had often fallen into a view of God more like Zeus than YWVH of the Bible.  A god in the sky with a large lightning bolt waiting to throw it at me as a result of some personal shortcoming.  As I have matured in the Faith though I have seen that God is more interested in Blessing us than in punishing us.  Punishment is reserved for those whose heart is continually bent toward rebellion against God who refuse His offer of grace and mercy. For the believer God offers a path of blessing!

The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, serving in the household of his Egyptian master. When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord made everything he did successful, Joseph found favor in his master's sight and became his personal attendant. Potiphar also put him in charge of his household and placed all that he owned under his authority. From the time that he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house because of Joseph. The Lord's blessing was on all that he owned, in his house and in his fields.
Genesis 39:2-5 (HCSB)

"The Lord was with�"  Strange to think that the Lord was with a man whose brothers ploted to kill him, chose instead to beat him up and leave him in a pit, decided instead to make a profit by selling him to slavery, then after getting the servant job with Potiphar was falsely accused of making sexual advances on Potiphar's wife (by his wife because he would not), Thrown in jail, and forgotten by one he helped in jail.  I think if we had caught Joseph at any one of these moments we might have concluded that God was angry with Joseph.  Not true though God was with him.  What then are we to make of God being with him? 

The blessing of God is not so much a promise for bad things to not happen to you (avoidance of consequences of living in a fallen world) as it is a promise to see you through it.  Joseph for his part walked a life of integrity.  He may not have been perfect, but trusted in God's mercy and grace in spite of his circumstances.  God was with him blessing him in all that he did no matter what station of life he possessed. 

"and he became a successful man."  The blessing of God was in the successes not in the challenges.  The challenges are opportunities for success.  We often squander these opportunities by having a pity party or by losing our integrity.  Either way we end up blocking God's desire to pour blessing into our lives.  Note also that success was not his place in the social class.  From slave (Gen 39:2), to prisoner (Gen 39:21), to prophet (Gen 41:28), to prime minster of Egypt (Gen 41:38-40) God was with Joseph and he was successful! 

"The Lord blessed the Egyptians house because of Joseph."  The blessing of God spills out into the lives of others when we live in this manner.  We have a favorable influence on others and when others are favorable to us then they are blessed of God.  Interesting this blessing is because of the believer and will be extended to unbelievers.  This is in great contrast to the image of a God ready to send a bolt of lightning to pushed some ingratitude or offence. 

So what is missing?  People who are willing to stand in a place of integrity and to allow God to be with them and to not stand in the way of His blessing by bemoaning their circumstance or losing their faith.  What is missing is God's Blessing

Stop Expecting and Start Living

So often we get hung up when things turn out unexpectedly or against our wishes.  For example I expected that I would do a few posts a week on this blog.  I see now it has been over a month since my last post.  Life has a way of getting in the way of living.  Usually though it is the expectations that make us feel miserable.

This is why I tell you: Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: They don't sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you worth more than they? Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don't labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! If that's how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won't He do much more for you-you of little faith? So don't worry, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear?' For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:25-34 (HCSB)

Your marriage is not what you thought it would be?  Start loving your spouse.  Your kids are rebellious and do not listen to you; Start getting involved in their lives and work to understand their hearts.  Your job is unsatisfactory?  Stop working and start serving.  Your life is not what you want?  Stop expecting and start living.  The kingdom of God is established in the hearts of people.  Are you seeking to reveal God to others that they may also have the heart of God?  Seek Him, the rest is details that do not change with our expectations.  Only living can change the heart.  Live well, Love well, Serve well,  and you will have His Righteousness. 

Bless you all!

Dying to Self

Wild worlds live in the dawn of consciousness as I move from sleep to wakefulness.  Some of the worlds are insightful and profound others are simply wacky!  This morning though I came across something that I think is quite true. 

Dream of flowers and sacrifice.

The flower has the ability to give pleasure to us.  It is a collection of color explosions that can transmit to emotion like no other things we set our eyes on.  We give them at particularly emotional moments of our lives (good and bad).  They celebrate life.  They celebrate death.  Yet in all of this how do they accomplish this feat?  Sacrifice.  All flowers die in their season.  But the ones that share a special purpose with our lives must die an early death.  They must sacrifice themselves to bring pleasure to us.  It is self-sacrifice that leads to greater good.  I realize that flowers do not have a choice in the matter.  But we do.  What are you willing to sacrifice for the greater good?  Can you fulfill your special purpose by dying to self?

Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship.
Romans 12:1 (HCSB)

Have a Blessed Day

The Soul and Anger

It seems that most of the time the soul is often killed by anger.  Hurtful words, regret, fear, hatred, resentment, prejudice, loss of hope, rage and so on are all soul killers if we do not keep them in check.  In some ways anger is rooted in all of these.  It is no wonder that we grow up being taught to be guilty for our anger.  Look at all the damage it causes. 

This leads to a further frustration of feeling invalidated by someone saying "Don't be angry" or "You should not be angry" when in fact I am angry.  I can no more turn off my anger than to stop thinking about hunger when I have not eaten for most of the day.  Stuffing anger is not helpful because it will always come out in other ways (passive aggression, rage episodes, or depression).  So it would seem that you are stuck with no good options when it comes to anger.  I can think of that moment stuck between stuffing it or letting it all out and that hopeless feeling that no matter what I do it is not going to be good.  That is a soul killer!

Which leads me to the conclusion that:

...man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.
James 1:20 (HCSB)

Yet we have this:

Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the Devil an opportunity.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (HCSB)

I have read this passage and wondered, "OK, but how do I do that?"  Yet there is two immediate practical applications in this verse if we open ourselves to hear what God is saying

• Do not allow anger to fester "Don't let the sun go down" tells me that the time to deal with anger is in the here and now.  Not tomorrow, not next week, but right now.  However, it does not say go on the attack.  It just says deal with it now!!!!
• The motivation is a spiritual one.  Our anger can give the devil a foothold in our lives.  Unresolved anger is giving opportunity for spiritual downfall.

This passage is closely connected to this:

Know that the Lord has set apart the faithful for Himself; the Lord will hear when I call to Him. Be angry and do not sin; on your bed, reflect in your heart and be still. Selah Offer sacrifices in righteousness and trust in the Lord.
Psalms 4:3-5 (HCSB)

Continuing our list then:

• Know that your relationship with God sets you apart.  There is a peace that comes from knowing God.  In that moment know God and choose faithfulness.
• Call on the Lord.  Prayer in a moment of anger can release you from the bondage of misplaced passion
• Meditate (reflect) sort out, understand, your anger. 
• Be still!  There is a close connection between being still and knowing God (Ps 46:10)
• Selah which is most likely a musical term for pausing.  But in that moment of anger pause can be the most powerful thing you can do.
• Often doing what is right is a sacrifice.  Anger demands it's own.  Anger demands it's rights.  Anger demands others agree.  I am sure that you can think of other things that anger demands.  Righteousness often requires sacrifice and surrender.  These actions are in opposition to our anger most of the time.  At that moment think what is the righteous thing to do.  If it involves sacrifice or surrender then it is likely that you have stumbled upon the very thing that needs to be done in that moment. 
• Finally but certainly not least "trust in the Lord"  We repeat that phrase so often it is a cliché to us.  If "Trust in the Lord" has become a mindless phrase then take some time to examine why.  Trust in the Lord is a powerful spiritual truth that can find its way into the depth of your soul and move you from destruction to life. 

I have often said "Anger in and of itself is not good nor bad.  It is what you do with it that makes it good or bad."  I hope that some of these suggestions are helpful to you in your effort to "be angry and do not sin."

I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live, love the Lord your God, obey Him, and remain faithful to Him. For He is your life, and He will prolong your life in the land the Lord swore to give to your fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”
Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (HCSB)

Have a Blessed Day

The Biology of Anger

When a person becomes angry there are two tell tale signs that you can see.  First is shallow heavy breathing, and the second is increased blood flow (seen as flushed face or felt as being hot).  The Bible makes several references to these types of anger.  The anger that is represented by breathing hard can be the result of a serious offence against you or someone you love or it can be as simple as a wish or desire unfulfilled.  We can all fall into this.  Most often others that see it will say "Are you angry?"  More often than not we play it off and say "No."  The fact is whether it is a serious situation or a trivial selfish whim the anger needs to be dealt with or it will develop into something worse. 

I have personally experienced the pains of my own anger unchecked as well as been the victim of others anger unchecked.  My guess is that we all have had this experience.  The question is why with all of our regret and discontent for the state of affairs do we fall into the trap of anger again and again.  I believe that anger is a complex emotion that has biological, psychological, and spiritual implications.  I would like to delve into the biological aspect first. 

Four words that come from the Bible that point to the biological implications of anger are in Hebrew af and awnaf (meaning rapid breathing), chemah (implying heat), and in Greek thymos (implying breathing hard).  Feeling hot and breathing hard (or rapid) are biological functions that serve a purpose.  These are similar to fight or flight.

Fight or flight (activation of the sympathetic nervous system) is a well documented and well researched phenomena within the field of neurology and psychology.   The biological systems affected by fight or flight are:

• Respiratory (increased breathing rate and dilation of the bronchial tubes)
• Cardiac (increased heart rate and dilation of blood vessels to the muscles, and constriction of blood vesicles to other parts of the body
• Inhibition of digestion (that is digestion slows down or stops)
• Paling or flushing (blood drained out or red faced)
• dilation of pupils of the eyes
• Auditory exclusion (loss of hearing)
• Loss of peripheral vision (tunnel vision)
• tremors
• increased perspiration

These are all automatic responses that cannot be directly controlled by the person that is experiencing them.  What is more once this response kicks in it tends to build until the threat or perceived threat is removed.  Even after the threat is removed the effects of fight or flight slowly return to a normal state. 

The brain it the control center of biological functioning.  In the brain two parts are implicated in anger response: the lymbic system and the prefrontal cortex.  The lymbic system buried deep the brain is responsible for the automatic fight or flight response (Hypothalamus just below the thalamus) and the experience of emotion (Amygdala).  The Prefrontal Cortex (part of the frontal lobe) is responsible for planning, organizing, and reasoning.  Your brain is literally sending a mixed message.  One part is saying "hit this guy or run away." While the other part of your brain is saying "Maybe we could just talk to him."  When you blend those two together what comes out is a blend of the two.  Maybe you don't hit the guy, but you attack him verbally.  This is of course a gross oversimplification of brain functioning, but I hope that it illustrates the brain function of anger.  

What happens when the prefrontal cortex (the reasonable part of the brain) is not working properly or is diminished?  If the fight or flight response is unchecked then intense fear and/or intense rage occurs.  The resulting behavior becomes intensely violent/aggressive or extremely protective without much thought to the implications or consequences of this behavior.  This is why you will have a moment of anger then later you regret when the frontal cortex comes back online so to speak.  After the moment of anger is past you are now thinking with the front part of your brain realize the implications of what just happened where as when you were angry these thoughts we shut down or quieted. 

Biology of anger has implications in what we do with anger.  First there has to be a way to quiet down the fight or flight response.  The best way to do this is to relax.  Relaxation activates the parasympathetic nervous system which acts in opposition to the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight).  That is why it is not possible to be engaged and relaxed at the same time.  They are two incompatible biological states.  There are many ways to relax, counting exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, use of imagery, and meditation are some ways I have used to help people learn the skill of relaxation (see here for more information).  By practicing relaxation you lower you set level so that when the fight or flight kicks in you do not have as high a peak.  Also by learning relaxation you can also more quickly arrest and recover from fight or flight.  This takes much practice. 

Another thing you can do has to do with the thinking planning part of your brain.  The goal is to bring the prefrontal cortex on line early on so that you are responding rather than reacting to anger.  There are a couple of tricks to do this.  One is to recognize the difference between a real and perceived threat.  Anger is a response to a threatening situation.  When it really comes down to it there are very few situations in our day to day life that are real legitimate threats to our wellbeing.  To me a legitimate threat is being assaulted by someone or threatened of life and limb.  For example a guy with a gun pointed at you.  On the other hand being angry with a pool cover is not a legitimate threat to my well being.  If you reason that a threat is not legitimate then you need to relax, distract, or disengage.  Often though just recognizing that there is no legitimate threat is enough to being the process of cooling off.  A second trick to get the front part of your brain to activate is a series of questions based on the acronym "I AM Worth it" developed by Redford Williams MD.

• Important:  Is this important to me?
• Appropriate: Is it appropriate for me to be angry in this situation?
• Modifiable: Is there something I can do about it?
• Worth It: Is it worth it to do something in this situation?

If you answer all the questions yes then two things have happened.  One you have identified a legitimate problem to be solved.  Two you are now thinking and reasoning rather and angrily reacting.  On the other hand if you answer "no" to any of them then you are in a situation you have to cope with and again you are thinking over reacting.  By bringing your front part of your brain online you will being the process of quieting the biological anger response. 

What other ways can you think of to cool off or relax the biological response to anger?

God Bless You All

---

Notes
1. Duke Medicine Health Line "Why Anger Kills" Published: Nov. 26, 2007 Updated: May 24, 2010 Retrieved August 24, 2010.  

Burning anger

You may have heard the story about a forest service worker that started the worst forest fire in Colorado state history.  Her Name was Terry Lynn Barton.  She had received a letter from her estranged husband regarding their divorce.  She was very upset at the contents of the letter and decided (according to her own admission) that she was going to burn it.  She started the fire in an area that was under a fire ban due to drought conditions.  Ironically it was her job to enforce the ban.  The fire ended up spreading to burn 138,114 acres and destroying 133 homes.  There is some question as to her story's truthfulness as the prosecutors believe that Ms Barton set the fires deliberately. 

Whether accidentally or deliberately I believe this is a good analogy for how anger works if it is unchecked.  It was a small burning anger that she held in her hands.  It certainly did not seem small to her at the time I am sure, but relative to the grand scheme of things it was in fact small.   That small burning in her life led to a huge burden to the community around her as over 5000 people were displaced and hundreds of firefighters fought a blaze that would end up costing over 38 million dollars in damage.  That is the nature of fire.  It also is the nature of anger. 

Are you angry?  Do something about it before it causes more damage to those around you than you can imagine.  Unresolved, unchecked anger is as destructive as a fire which is why the Bible so frequently uses fire to describe anger.