Sermon: Great Expectations

Audio: Great Expectation
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Chippie the parakeet never saw it coming. One second he was peacefully perched in his cage. The next he was sucked in, washed up, and blown over.

The problems began when Chippie's owner decided to clean Chippie's cage with a vacuum cleaner. She removed the attachment from the end of the hose and stuck it in the cage. The phone rang, and she turned to pick it up. She'd barely said "hello" when "ssssopp!" Chippie got sucked in.

The bird owner gasped, put down the phone, turned off the vacuum, and opened the bag. There was Chippie -- still alive, but stunned.

Since the bird was covered with dust and soot, she grabbed him and raced to the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and held Chippie under the running water. Then, realizing that Chippie was soaked and shivering, she did what any compassionate bird owner would do . . . she reached for the hair dryer and blasted the pet with hot air.

Poor Chippie never knew what hit him.

A few days after the trauma, the reporter who'd initially written about the event contacted Chippie's owner to see how the bird was recovering. "Well," she replied, "Chippie doesn't sing much anymore -- he just sits and stares."

It's hard not to see why. Sucked in, washed up, and blown over . . . That's enough to steal the song from the stoutest heart.

~Max Lucado, In the Eye of the Storm, Word Publishing, 1991, p. 11.

I would like to share from Matthew 11:1-6.  In this passage we will see how John the Baptist had been sucked in, washed up, and blown over, and how Jesus pointed John the way to restore the song of his heart.  Let’s pray.

Surrender

I had a chance to share a song with the church this last Sunday.  You can hear the song Undone by the group FFH here.  The song spoke to me the first time I heard it.  Surrender is not something that we typically focus on in our lives.  It runs against the grain of our natural humanity.  It is taken as a weakness to the natural man.  Spiritually though surrender is strength.  This truth is Spiritually discerned.  That is to say that it can only be understood with the aid of God's Holy Spirit.  It goes something like this. 

There once was a man that was angry.  He had a hard life.  He was not very popular growing up.  He was socially awkward and did not have any close friends.  He was often the target of taunts.  He even was assaulted at times by other boys that disrespected him.   The physical aspect of the assaults were not nearly as bad as the emotional damage.  He learned to hate people.  People are not to be trusted under any circumstance what so ever.  He lived his life not trusting people beyond what it took to get his basic needs met in this life.  His anger and bitterness grew with every passing year. 

In time he met a woman.  She was very outgoing.  You have heard that opposites attract well in this case you could not come up with a greater opposite than this.  He was shocked at first that someone so out going would even take an interest in him (a recluse).  They met in a coffee shop.  He was sitting working on his laptop finishing up some last minute changes for a presentation he was going to do later that day.  She saw him there typing away and decided to walk over to him.  She asked him what he was doing.  I am not sure if he was distracted with his work so his guard was down, but he talked with her when normally he would have chased her off with a gruff answer as if to say, "leave me alone." 

They hit it off and became good friends.  They would regularly meet at the coffee shop they met in.  As he let his guard down he found himself becoming more and more fond of her.  She also like him.  She would always say, "You make me think.  So many people just want to talk about the weather or sports, but when I am with you I feel like I can talk about anything."  As time passed their relationship became romantic.  He overcame his awkwardness with a deep sincerity that the woman had never known.  Everything was perfect. 

This story does not have a Hollywood ending though.  After a year of dating the man asked his girlfriend to marry.  She accepted.  They wanted to get married soon, but there was many plans to be made.  After what seemed to be an eternity (but was only 6 months) the day was quickly approaching.  The following week they were to be married and start their lives together. 

He got the call about 11:30 that evening.  "We have to talk" a shaky voice said on the other end of the line. 

"Is everything OK?"

"No it is not OK, but I don't want to tell you over the phone.  Can you meet me now?"

They set up a meeting at the coffee shop.  Unfortunately the shop was closed.  Just as well for what happened next. 

As he sat in the car with her his head was swimming with what could possibly be so wrong.  He greatest fear was that she was going to say that she did not want to get married.  He did not understand.

She said, "This is the hardest thing I have ever had to say.  You are the sweetest man on the whole earth and you deserve to have someone much better than me?"

"No that is not true.  Just tell me I am sure we can work through anything."

"I'm pregnant." 

At that moment his body became flush with a rush of adrenaline.  The kind of rush that makes the world go silent.  She had much more to say, but he could not hear her.  It was as if someone had plugged his ears and he could only see her mouth move.  After a few moments of this he could not even focus on her face as his world felt like a spinning merry go round.  Only in this case he could not get off the ride.  He knew she had been with another man.  They agreed to be old fashioned and not have sex until they were married.  And now she was pregnant.  He was snapped back into reality with, "... and that is why I have decided we cannot get married, I am sorry."  He just sat there with a swirl of emotions that cannot be adequately described by words.  He was silent. 

"I am going to go now.  I am so sorry.  I know you will make someone happy someday."

Alone, hurt, devastated, he began to weep.  His weeping turned to bitterness and anger.  He said to himself, "Once again it goes to show you that people are not to be trusted.  How could I have been such a fool.   Never again.  Never again will I let someone hurt me that way."

He spent the next 10 years alone.  He did not mind that much.  He found some companionship with a German Shepard that he rescued from the pound.  Not a day went by though that he did not think about how people had let him down.  His bitterness consumed him.  He was angry and contentious.  No one wanted to be around him and he was OK with that.  He wondered if that was all there was to life.  Let down your guard only to be devastated.  He began to wrestle within himself to find a way out of his mean life.  He tried many things, but to no avail.  Everything seemed meaningless.  He would on occasion remember that year with his girlfriend.  He recalled the good times they had which would make his pain all the more unbearable. 

Then one afternoon at that same coffee shop a young woman walked up to him.  She must have been in her early 20s he guessed.  He was much older than her so he did not see her as a threat.  He talked with her and thought to himself, "She seems so lively and upbeat, clearly she has not experience real life yet."  Then he grew tired of the conversation and spoke in a manner he had many times before to end the conversation.  "Life is only pain, misery, and suffering.  I ought to know I am the most miserable person on the earth."  Usually people would say a few more polite cliches  and then walk away.  He had expected her to do the same.  But she did not.

"What horrible thing must have happened to you to come up with such a hopeless philosophy in life?"

"You would not understand."

"Yeah your probably right, but I would like to hear about it just the same."

He told her the whole story of growing up, falling in love, and being betrayed.  "So you see there is nothing really good in this life."

"You need to surrender" She replied. 

"What?"

"You need to surrender your life."

He thought that this must be some kind of scene out of the twilight zone.  Or some bizarre nightmare that he would wake up from at any minute.  "No offence honey, but that has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard in my life."

"Yeah, I used to think the same as you.  It seemed pretty stupid to me also at first."  She went on to share how she had been horribly abused as a child and how her anger consumed her to the point she contemplated suicide. 

"What changed?"  He asked

"I surrendered." 

"I don't get it."

"I surrendered all my sorrows, anger, desires for revenge, the need to see justice done.  I put them all on the Cross of Jesus Christ." 

"Great" He thought, "She is one of those religious nut jobs."

"I figured that as long as I was holding on to my sorrow, anger, right to justice and revenge I was making my spirit sick.  I had a spiritual sickness that made me bitter and hateful toward the world.  To be honest I was even angry with God." 

He was unsure of what to say.  She had just described him perfectly. 

"Hey even our meeting here today was not an accident.  I was praying that God would give me someone to encourage and then I saw you here and now--  Well God want you to know that he loves you and cares for you.  He is ready to take your burdens once you are willing to surrender them.  He did for me I am sure he could do it for you."

I wonder is there anyone out there that would read this that needs to surrender?  Is there some anger, bitterness, addiction, broken relationship, secret sin, fear, painful memory and so on that needs to be given up.  Maybe holding on to it has made your "spirit sick."  God is there for you.  Not to rescue out of the brokenness, but through it.  Surrender is the strongest thing you can do!

God Bless You

Remorse without Repentance

Image by ashley.adcox via Flickr

There are times when we are filled with regret.  However that regret does not lead to any sort of life change. 

For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produces death.
2 Corinthians 7:10 (HCSB)

This is worldly remorse.  I have posted on this before here.  However I thought it would be good to draw a contrast between feeling sorry about something and true repentance. 

Unmerited Self-Reproach

There is a type of regret that comes when you have not done anything wrong.  Perhaps it is dealing with a consequence of someone else's sin.  Perhaps it is dealing with negative consequences of making the right choice.  That's right we can regret making the right choice if we let regret come in to our hearts.  At other times we are quick to assume that we have done something worthy of apology.  Perpetually saying "I am sorry."  This type of regret is pointless. 

The only thing it does is make us feel badly and there is nothing to repent of other than turning from the inward self-focus to a outward God-focus.  It seems that we become so self absorbed that we begin to take credit for everything good or bad, but especially bad.  That is somewhat arrogant if you think about it.  How could all things be my fault? 

Some other things that might be going on:  God could be showing you something (like how to trust Him), there might be a person that needs to experience God's love and God has place you in their path to show them that love, you may be experiencing persecution for doing the right thing, maybe your opinion needs to be heard and is wisdom that God has given you.  What ever the case may be unmerited self-reproach is not repentance it is worldly sorrow and it kills the spirit. 

Guilt of Being Caught

We have a great capacity to sear our conscience to dull the conviction that something is wrong until we get caught.  For the Christian in addition we grieve the Holy Spirit until He leaves us to experience full consequence of sin.   What ever the case may be we continue in this sin until we are caught.  At that moment we have a choice.  Do we put our effort into damage control and minimizing the effects of getting caught or do we seek genuine repentance. 

The guilt of being caught is not repentance.  Repentance requires a true change of heart, a change of direction, a change is purpose.  What is difficult is that guilt of being caught and true repentance can look very much the same.  In both there is cessation of the offending behavior.  In the case of guilt of being caught the cessation is more like a pause than a change.  This pause can continue for a long time, sometimes indefinitely.  Both can be accompanied by expressions of remorse.  Both can be accompanied by renewed religious devotion. 

The difference?   Well there are a few.  The guilt of being caught is self-centered.  Repentance is God/Spirit centered.  The guild of being caught is more interested in removing consequences of sin, where as repentance is more interested in removing the guilt of sin (through a right relationship with God).  Guilt of being caught is motivated by the desire to escape pain.  Repentance is motivated by the desire to experience God's peace.  It seems that arrogance is the root of the lack of repentance in this matter as well.  It is a attitude of "I can fix this." This I can fix this attitude leads a person to arrogantly undo and restore what cannot possibly be repaid. 

In the end it is an empty pursuit not leading to lasting change.  Often the end of guilt from getting caught leads to blame of others, resentment and bitterness, or avoidance that festers in the soul like a infection under the skin.  What is needed is humble repentance from the arrogant attitude that "I can fix this!" and from the original offence to trust in God and His forgiveness. 

Melancholic Guilt

There are times that people experience genuine remorse, but never get around to repentance.  Their guilt is overwhelming and they cannot remove it.   They become intensely aware of their own shortcomings becoming anxious, distressed, and depressed.  They discover that no amount of undoing will ever make things right.  Don't get me wrong; you can make amends to restore a relationship or pay restitution for damages, but you can never come up with a payment big enough to undo the guilt of sin. 

Melancholic guilt is a deep intimacy with the hopelessness of the guilt of un repentant sin.  Sometimes people live lives of desperation in this place because they are not aware that there is another option.  Other times they know about the peace of God, but believe the deception that either they have to undo the guilt then come to God, or that the guilt they bear is to great for God to forgive.  Still other times Melancholic Guilt occurs when a person realizes that repentance does not remove the consequences of sin.  The biggest problem with melancholic guilt is that it never leads to a changed life and it robs you of the peace that God offers through His Son Jesus Christ. 

To repent of Melancholic Guilt one much without reservation confess the sin that has brought the guilt into your life.   Then trust in God to work through your circumstances for better or for worse, but always for your good (Romans 8:28).  To fall back into melancholic guilt after you have turned to God for forgiveness is really a sign that you do not trust God to work through your circumstances.  If there are ongoing consequences to your sin embrace them and then turn them over to God.  This ongoing turning to (repentance) God will allow His peace to flow into your life. 

If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9 (HCSB)
If we confess our sins, He (Jesus) is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (HCSB)

Have a Blessed Day

Meditation: Repentance

I do not have a specific verse for this mornings meditation.  I have more of what God has shown me through His word, though observation of others, and through personal experience. 

Repentance is not...

Wanting to change	thinking about change
hoping for change	feeling bad about something
guilt	remorse
sadness	changing behavior
trying harder	praying more
reading the Bible more	going forward in church
saying "I'm sorry"	promising to do better

To be sure all these things may be involved in repentance, but in and of themselves they are not repentance. 

Psalm 51:4

In order for repentance to occur one must be first aware that repentance is needed.  There is change that is most definitely needed in the life of a person.  Others may see the need for change, but until the person themselves is aware they cannot repent.  What is more often we push this awareness away from our conscious mind.  The recognition that a change is needed is too painful and so we push that awareness away.  We can also deny that a change is needed in the face of insurmountable evidence to the contrary.  It is amazing to me the level of denial that a human mind can come up with when all else points him/her in a different direction.  This denial keeps a person away from repentance.  Whether through ignorance, avoidance, or denial a lack of awareness that one needs to repent will keep one from repenting.  Awareness that a change is needed is not the same as repentance.  It is simply the first step in making a change.

How does one become aware that a change is needed?

  It is clear to me that God's word and his Holy Spirit are needed to make one aware of sin. 

Paul explains it this way,  "...sin, in order to be recognized as sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that through the commandment, sin might become sinful beyond measure (Romans 7:13)."  God's word helps us to recognize when we have missed the mark.  Sin is just that "missing the mark."  We are imperfect and have many flaws leading us to miss the mark.  If a person says they do not sin then they are ignorant (1 Corinthians 15:34) or they are lying (1 John 1:8).   God's word removes ignorance and forces out of self deception.  When sin is in a person's life often a devotion to God's word is the first casualty. 

The Holy Spirit plays a role in making one aware of sin (John 16:8-9).  The Holy Spirit convicts regarding sin, righteousness, and judgment.  Without the calling of the Holy Spirit our natural inclinations would be to go astray (Galatians 5:16-18).    In fact no one is drawn to the Father (God) except by the work of the Holy Spirit (John 6:63-65) and the Spirit does this at the bidding of the Father.

At this point the person is at a crisis of faith.  He/She either believes the Word of God and the conviction of the Holy Spirit or she/he denies the need of repentance.  It is a sorry thing when a person refuses to repent.  The immediate consequence is a removal of the peace that God desires to give.  The long term consequence is the removal of God's blessing and protection.  The eternal consequence for the unbeliever is separation from God.

All this to say that recognition of the need for change is a prerequisite to repentance. 

Change of Will

Once a person has this recognition they have to take the next step which is a change of will.  To repent you have desire the change.  Being aware that a change is needed is well and good, but if you do not desire to change then your repentance will be short lived.  There has to be a change of desire that occurs in the innermost part of your being.  This desire is a restoration of hungering and thirsting for righteousness. 

For consider how much diligence this very thing-this grieving as God wills-has produced in you: what a desire to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what deep longing, what zeal, what justice! In every way you showed yourselves to be pure in this matter.
2 Corinthians 7:11 (HCSB)

Desire to clear, indignation, fear, deep longing, zeal, and justice.  Those are powerful words.  Meditate on them.  Let them sink into your soul.  Let them spark spiritual life into your mind, body, and action.  These things grant inward repentance.  Transformation that is inside out. 

Change in Direction

Turn to Me and be saved, all the ends of the earth. For I am God, and there is no other.
Isaiah 45:22 (HCSB)

Repentance is a change in direction.  It is a change from worthless things to God (Acts 14:15).  It is a change from self-centeredness to God (Proverbs 18:1).  It is a change from "I got to have it" attitude to God (James 3:16).  Repentance is a change from a passive attitude about sin to a recognition of sin as God sees it (James 4:8-10).  Repentance is seeking God's Glory over the glory of men (John 5:44).  In short repentance is an about face from all the selfish desire and attractions of this worlds to a forward facing devotion to God and his kingdom (Matthew 6:33).

Change in Fruit

Repentance is a change in actions.  The actions in and of themselves hold no real power to repentance.  They are merely evidence of the change that has already occurred on the inside.  Often people will seek to do great works as a way to undo or compensate for the wrong that they have done.  This type of change is not repentance, but rather is works based religion.  The fruit of repentance is cultivating those things in your life that lead to genuine spiritual growth. 

In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can't produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit.
Matthew 7:17-18 (HCSB)

What is this fruit?  Here is a good list:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23 (HCSB)

A person growing in these with consistency demonstrates the Spirit of God working in him/her.  A change of fruit demonstrates the change of heart.  That is repentance.  

Have a blessed day!

Don't Wait, Go!

Image by Dave Siberia via Flickr

This sermon was given on April 25, 2010. The audio version does not match exactly with the written text.  You can listen to the sermon by clicking the play button Here

This morning I am going to be expounding on Matthew 10:11-15. There was a man that had an acquaintance that was in the hospital for bronchitis. He felt a distinct prompt from the Holy Spirit to go an talk to that man. He thought he would go see him after the man recovered from the hospital. He again felt the distinct prompting. At this point he determined that he would go. Life got busy as it often does and he forgot about this determination. The man's acquaintance was dead in the next week. He did from complication of pneumonia. He now carries the grief of not going and sharing the gospel with him.

It seems that in order to receive a message you first have to receive the messenger and then you have to listen. This may seem very obvious to some, but it bears repeating. In order to receive a message you first have to receive the messenger and listen to the message. Now in this case Jesus is not addressing those that would receive the message, but rather the messengers themselves. By extrapolation then we can say that this instruction is for us as well when if comes to the spread of the Gospel.

The first command is to Go! In Matthew 10:7 Jesus says, "As you go..." We are to go into the world, ministering to the needs of others, while sharing the all important message of "the Kingdom of Heaven."

In this section (Matthew 10:11-15) Jesus is telling his disciples what they are to do when they arrive. The first order of business was to find a worthy person to stay with. I struggle with this part because I am not sure what method or measure we are to use to determine worthiness. It seems that the disciples were to ask around to find this worthy person, but worthy for what? I think it is directing us to a person that hospitable and open. This seems to make the most sense to me. I have in the past attempted to share the Gospel with those that were inhospitable and closed to hear anything about God. The danger of this type of interaction is that it rarely leads to a change and often just reinforces what the unbeliever already stereotypes Christians as being. In that sense then a worthy person is one that is welcoming, and open to hearing something from you. I can think of Paul's trip to Athens (Acts 17:16-34). In that passage we find that Paul first went to the Synagogue (Acts 17:17), next the market place, and then Areopagus. In each of these circumstances Paul was sharing with those that were open to hearing him out. It does not appear that all agreed with him though. Some ridiculed him, some said they wanted to hear from him again, and some believed. It is also interesting to note that Paul left the presence of those that ridiculed him. Another time when Paul traveled to Corinth to start a church in that city he found a couple Aquila and his wife Priscilla (Acts 18:1-3). They took Paul into their home and gave him work to do. It would seem that Paul determined they were worthy and he stayed with them throughout his time in Corinth.

Once a person was determined to be worthy then the disciples were to offer a peace blessing on the home. It is interesting to me that often we easily fall out of the command to offer a blessing of peace to the people that are the recipients of the message of Christ. All to often we debate, deride, ridicule, dismiss those that do not believe as we do. In some sense it is a gospel according to the flesh. "I know I am right and you are wrong so don't challenge me, don't fight me, just listen it is for your own good. Jesus died for your sins after all." I must admit I have been there myself. God grant mercy to those that I have been a stumbling block to. A blessing of peace is quite a thing. If we are to bless then it seems that we selfishly keep it for ourselves. We bless those that bless us. Jesus was saying something quite different here. He was suggesting that we speak blessing and peace without regard to where the person stood at the end of our encounter.

How does one bless another's home? Prayer certainly can be a good place to start. Sharing the Gospel without prayer is a real good way to ensure that you are arguing with the mind or the flesh. Our weapons though are not soulful or fleshly. They are spirit. If the message of the Cross is a spiritual message then it would seem to me that being in communion with God's Spirit would be a requisite part of the process. Pray for the peace of God to fill another's home then. What is more we can bring a blessing of peace by being good guests so to speak. I think American's have a difficult time with the concept of being a good guest. We expect as guests to be served and waited on. Not so with Paul. Notice that Paul promptly went to work with Priscilla when he stayed with him in Corinth. Paul the missionary of missionaries there making tents to supply for his own need. I must admit I struggle with this as well. We can be a blessing by speaking peaceably. There is a time for forceful presentations to be sure, but by in large it is the peaceable person that will lead another person to the Lord. We can be a blessing of peace if we speak in such a manner that others are likely to listen to us. Being vulgar or abusive is not a blessing and it certainly is not peaceable. I would also say that keeping passions in check is important to being a blessing of peace to others. It is often our passion (fleshly ones at that) which lead us astray into paths of defensiveness, hurtfulness, strife, and destructiveness. Keeping passions in check is no easy task when it comes to sharing the Gospel. We cannot expect others to be so kind to us. In fact there will be those that we do not reach.

When we strive to be a blessing of peace though our peace returns to us when the other person is not willing to receive that peace. At this point unworthiness is defined by not reciving your nor the message. We are not to take this personally. Jesus said, "If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you." (John 15:18) We are to realize that the peace which we offered has been rejected and returns to us in that instance.

Now some time passes and it becomes clear that the town is not going to convert to Christ. I am not sure how much time passes (God knows), but it has become clear that the audience for the message is either rejecting the message outright or not willing to listen at all. I think the hardest thing in the world is to make a break with someone when it becomes clear they are not ready to receive the message. One hopes beyond hope that a person will see it my way. If we continue down this path it is likely that the only way of conversion is by manipulation or by way of force. However, true conversion is by faith and faith alone. If a person cannot come to that place then manipulation or force will not save them. So break we must.

As a symbolic gesture of that break Jesus commands his disciples to shake the dust off of their feet. In order to understand this gesture you have to understand a practice of Jews at the time of Christ. To the devout Jew Palestine was Holy. Not just the place, but the very dust of the ground was considered Holy. When a Jew returned from a foreign city they believed that unholy dust clinched to their feet. This would lead them to shake their feet to rid themselves of the unholy dust so as not to pollute the holy dust of Palestine.

Was Jesus introducing a superstitious practice here? I do not believe so. I believe that Jesus was going with a more symbolic meaning. In the other gospels that record this event it is said that the disciples were to do this as a witness against them. In that case then it is saying we have brought a message to you and you have neither welcomed us nor accepted the message. We are not responsible for your rejection of the message. They are also making a break in fellowship with them. You see these were Jews and the Disciples were fellow Jews.

It is a sad case that there will be those whose hearts will not be changed. It is their hardness of heart that keeps them from being changed by the power of the Gospel. Making that choice hardness begets more hardness and leads them further down a path of disbelief. Arguing with a person that is on this path only chases them further along the way. That is why a break is needed.

It will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of Judgment than for those that reject the messengers and the message. That seems like quite a statement. God rained down his judgement on Sodom and Gomorrah for several sins. They had a complete disregard for God and the things of God that they were judged. They were in full on rebellion against God that they were judged and condemned. They Bible explains that they were sinning against God (Gen 13:13), guilty of moral corruption and rejecting God (Deut 32), engaged in full on sinfulness with no shame (Isa 3:9), guilty of adultery, falsehood, helping evil doers, and lack lack of repentance (Jer 23:14), promoted idolatry, prostitution, a lack of social justice (Ezek 16), and given themselves over to sexual perversion (Jude 1:7). That only to say that for these towns that rejected Christ's message for which these disciples were ambassadors are worthy of greater punishment. In my mind that is quite extraordinary. Yet there is is. Let me read it. Jesus said,

I assure you: It will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town
Matthew 10:15

The first phrase in this first sentence is "Amen I am saying to you." Jesus is removing any doubt about where He stands on this issue. His resolve is certain. There is no grace for those that reject the Gospel. And in the day of judgment they will face certain punishment. We tend to sugar coat the Christian message. I used to think that it was because we don't want to scare people off. I have come to the realization that so few Christians are engaged in witnessing that we sugar coat things we don't have to consider the responsibility we have shirked when it comes to spreading the message. To be sure those that do not accept Christ as their Lord and Savior will face eternal judgment and separation from God and loved ones who have gone on before them.

This judgment is a terrible fire (Matthew 25:31). It is a time in which we all will have to give account for our deeds whether good or bad, every careless word will come under the scrutiny of our Lord (Matthew 12:36). As Christians we will not escape Judgment.

1 Corinthians 3:11-15 says: For no one can lay any other foundation than what has been laid down. That foundation is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on that foundation with gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw, each one's work will become obvious, for the day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire; the fire will test the quality of each one's work. If anyone's work that he has built survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned up, it will be lost, but he will be saved; yet it will be like an escape through fire.

So for the Christian the terrible fire of judgment is a purification process leading to greater purity. The unbeliever on the other hand it is something much worse:

Revelation 20:13-15 says: Then the sea gave up its dead, and Death and Hades gave up their dead; all were judged according to their works. Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And anyone not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

If your name is not written in the book of life in the day of judgment it means that you have rejected the Gospel. I believe that every person's name is written in the Book of life . As long as that person has breath they have an opportunity to receive Jesus Christ as their Savior. Once they die if they never repent of the rejection of God's Grace their names are blotted out (that is erased) from the book of life (See Exodus 32:30-35; Ps 9:3-5; Ps 69:27-28, Rev 3:5). Having your named erased from the book of life means that you will face everlasting punishment (Rev 20:15).

I hope that is not true for anyone here this morning. I would be naive though to believe that everyone here has a relationship with Christ. If you have not made that step. Then I ask you, I implore you, take that first step. Enter into a loving relationship with the one that loves you enough to give his life for you. That is good news we can be free of sin and eternal death. If you are in a saving relationship with Christ then I have a question. Are you going to a lost world? If not then why not? When we go we need to find those that are open to the message. We need to be messengers of peaceful blessing. We have to acknowledge that there will be those that do not accept what you have to say. There are some that you may need to make a break with who refuse the gospel. The point is that we need to get involved in our mission to reach lost souls for Christ. We have to do it now. If we don't then we risk becoming like the man who waited too long to speak to the acquaintance in the hospital. That man caries that grief. That man was me. Don't wait. Let's Pray

Intimacy Lost

There are times when a relationship is broken.  It is not that intimacy is lacking, but rather that it has been significantly altered by some painful event.  This is not the same as those that have been hurt by false intimacy (see here for that subject), but that have had intimacy and had it taken by a painful event and/or desire to get it back.  Sometimes one, the other, or both spouses are to blame.  Other times it is some event that happens outside the marriage that is such a significant trauma that intimacy is lost within the marriage.  These are painful times.  Heartache, fear, distrust, disgust, aversion, coldness, loneliness, grief, and other painful emotions are at the forefront during these times of life.  Marriage because of the potential for intimacy  can be the source of great destruction or great healing during these times depending on how the trauma is handled.  It is unlikely that one can be neutral during these times because to do nothing actually make the relationship destructive (albeit in a more passive way).  Perhaps you are at that place now: an affair, traumatic violence,  serious violation of trust, emotional trauma, significant loss in life, really anything that is a traumatic or a loss in life will fit the bill. 

A list of things that I believe are helpful during these times is to understand when it time to go "FORTH" are Forgiveness, Openness, Respect, Trust, and Healing.  These five concepts are interrelated, but is they also are different.  It is important if you are to restore intimacy to understand the similarity and differences between these five relationship concepts. 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the quality of releasing the other person from condemnation for his or her offence.  Condemnation is the act of declaring guilty and holding a person accountable to the fullest extent possible.  Condemnation has no room for grace or circumstances.  To release condemnation is to forgive.  What that means individually is that a person releases his or her personal right (real or perceived) to demand retribution.  Individual forgiveness is different than pardon.  Pardon is given by society or some society representative.  For example a person might forgive a person that assaulted them, but that does not mean they are pardoned for the crime.  Forgiveness also is unique from openness, respect, trust and healing.  A person can forgive and not have the other four.  This is important because recognizing forgiveness as different will avoid you falling into the trap of believing that you have not forgiven or believing that your spouse has not forgiven because they do not trust. 

Openness

One of the casualties in traumatic events is often openness.  It is based somewhat in trust.  However it is different from trust.  Openness is both a measure of the level of trust in a relationship and the mechanism for rebuilding trust in a relationship.   Openness is being accountable, vulnerable, sincere, forthright, and clear.  It is avoiding secretiveness.   It also has a quality of gentle honesty.  I distinguish that from brutal honesty.  Brutal honesty is not openness, but rather is an attack usually meant to punish the other person for bringing the subject up.  Gentle honesty is being transparent while being fully aware of how what your are saying may affect the person that you are talking with.  It is focused more on how you say things over what you are say.  At times there is a tension that exists in that what you have to say may be unpleasant.  Gentle honesty does not hide the unpleasant, but thinks long and hard about timing, manner, and intent of sharing unpleasant information. 

Respect

Respect is another casualty of traumatic events.  This is especially true when the root cause of the trauma lies within the behavior of the other spouse (having an affair for example).  You might wonder about how to respect someone who has done something dishonorable.  I would agree that this is a difficult thing.  However if your goal is to restore emotional intimacy then disrespect will not bring that about and will in fact have the opposite effect on the relationship.  Disrespect is fuel to defensiveness and distrust.  There are times when respect (or disrespect) is learned from previous relationships and displayed in the marriage relationship.  For example if you grow up in a family that does not respect the feelings of others then you will have a greater likelihood that you will have a lack of respect for your spouses feelings and not even be aware that you are doing that.  The substance of respect is positive regard (treating with kindness), courteousness, sensitivity to feelings of the other, endure, give benefit of doubt, value opinion of, and giving of esteem when something good is done. 

Trust

I have said in a previous post that trust is vital element in emotional intimacy.  Not wanting to repeat myself here let me just contrast trust and forgiveness.  Trust is the ability to be vulnerable and entrust your life and emotions with a person that you love.  Forgiveness is a release from the right to retaliate.  They certainly do overlap, but they are different and are on different schedules.  Most of the time when spouses say "You don't forgive me" it is not true.  The fact he or she is willing to show up in counseling is evidence of forgiveness in my estimation.  Unforgiving people do not seek out reconciliation or a way to make the relationship better.  What would be more accurate to say is, "I desire for you to trust me."  In this way the responsibility is shared.  The person who has broken the trust has the obligation to demonstrate trustworthiness and the person who has been offended has to reach a point where they can be vulnerable again.  This is not the same a forgiveness and will take time as the couple grows in trustworthiness and vulnerability.

Healing

I like to use a serious break in the leg as an analogy for healing.  The recovery from a serious complicated break can be relatively short to a extensive.  It depends on many factors (type of break, whether surgery is needed, bone health, activity level before and after the break, etc).  Even when a break is healed there may be times that in cold weather or if you step just in a certain way that you will have a painful reminder of the break.  Stated another way there is never a complete healing 100%.  Recovery is lifelong to a certain extent. 
In the same way psychological trauma is never 100% healed.  I raise this issue because I want to contrast it with the issue of forgiveness.  A person will experience painful emotions for a long time after a trauma or serious loss.  However, painful emotions is in no way indicative of a lack of forgiveness.  The painful emotions are there because you are human and are still in a process of healing and recovery.  There should never be guilt over painful emotions either in the form of guilt trip (by the other) or by self reproach (why can I just get over it).  Healing takes time and will often be the last to occur in this list of five things (sometimes life long). 
That being said emotional intimacy can be forged in the process of healing.  If the person that is supporting recovery of the other becomes an agent of healing then they form of bond with that person that is extremely strong, even when the person is at fault for the trauma in the first place.  The key to healing painful emotions is to avoid the guilt trap.  Guilt turns painful emotions into suffering.  You have to accept the feelings of pain whether you are the person experiencing them or if you are the person wanting to support.  Together healing will bring the emotional intimacy that you long for.  The difficulty is that it takes time and progress is measured by months if not years depending on the type of trauma.  End the end it is worth it if you are willing and your spouse is the person that is willing to take the journey with you. 

If this describes your relationship I pray that you will seek and receive the healing you are looking for.  If you are the support person then I pray that you will be come the agent of healing for your spouse for better or for worse.  God bless you.  If this does not describe you consider supporting another couple that is going through a hard time as a support toward healing and reconciliation. 
 

Receiving the Moment (even when it does not make sense)

This post is dealing with one of the most difficult aspects of contentment.  There are times in life that we are presented with seemingly contradictory information when looking at intrinsic truth and experiential truth.  Intrinsic truth are things that are true in themselves.  that is to say they are based in some value or moral that is contained within the truth itself.  Some examples of intrinsic truth is God, ethics, morality, and goodness.  On the other hand experiential truth is based on what can be observed, described, measured, tested, and/or experienced.  Some examples of experiential truths are empirical knowledge, heuristics (rules of thumb),  constructs,  and Common sense.  Unfortunately there are times when these two classes of truth present a dilemma in our lives when they appear contradictory.  If I have lost you that is OK I will attempt to give an example from the Bible that should clear up what I am saying.

"Take your son," He said, "your only [son] Isaac, whom you love, go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."  Gen 22:2 (HCSB)

This is quite possibly one of the most bizarre commands of God recorded in the Bible.  We tend to overlook it when we read it because we know the end of the story.  Abraham did not know the end!  In fact if we have never read the story before we are only held in this uncomfortable state for as long as it takes to read 10 verses (It took me 42 seconds to read the whole story).  Abraham on the other hand wrestled with this command for 3 days (Side note:  for those interested in symbolic numbers Jesus was in the grave for 3 days) .  By the way my interest in this dilemma was influenced by S�ren Kierkegaard's book "Fear and Trembling."   

I am not being irreverent when I say it is a bizarre command.  I am basing my opinion on experiential truth.  And my guess is that you would draw the same conclusion as well as well.  Considering it empirically (ie science of mind/brain) a man that hears the voice of God tell him to sacrifice his son is by definition psychotic.  In this case the command hallucination would be considered a bizarre hallucination.  Considering the rule of thumb it would be unwise to hang out with a person that would kill his son to please a deity.  God in my understanding loathes child sacrifice.  So hearing a command from him stating otherwise does not fit within my construct of who God is.  Therefore the command is absurd.  Common sense would say "God would not want you to do that!"  I am guessing the Sarah had it in this couple which is why he probably did not share what he was doing with with her.  Truly the command is beyond experiential truth and reason.  That makes the command bizarre.

'We must never tolerate an instant's unbelief as to the goodness of the Lord; whatever else may be questioned, this is absolutely certain, that Jehovah is good; His dispensations may vary, but His nature is always the same' (C. H. Spurgeon).

Intrinsic truth on the other hand indicates that God knows what he is doing (Omniscient).  What He does is good.  He can do and accomplish whatever he wants (Omnipotent).  Often times it is pointed out that God Abraham was trusting in the promise of:

I will establish My covenant between Me and you, and I will multiply you greatly. Gen 17:2 (HCSB)

Your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will name him Isaac. I will confirm My covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his future offspring. Gen 17:19 (HCSB)

This is usually based on:

By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac. He received the promises and he was offering his unique son,  the one it had been said about, Your seed will be traced through Isaac.  He considered God to be able even to raise someone from the dead, and as an illustration, he received him back. Heb 11:17-19 (HCSB)

This fine for us who only have to be discomforted for the minute or so that we are uncomfortable while we read the story, but we did not walk in Abraham's shoes for those three days.  He is a hero of faith to be sure, but there is no way that anyone could walk in his shoes and feel heroic going through to do what he was going to do!

It is then reasonable to conclude that Abraham struggled with this very dilemma that I have put forward.  It is not possible in my estimation that a person of commendable reputation and character could be resigned to carry out such a task without this struggle.  If I were him I would have said something like, "My experiential knowledge is in conflict with my knowledge of God!"  I think if we are honest there are times (though not to this degree) that we to enter into a similar dilemma.  The dilemma usually starts with the word "why" and questions why God does or does not do something (usually the latter). 

This is a long introduction to my main point which is, We can only be content when we receive the moment exactly as God has given it to us.  I have already talked about how fighting reality in relationships is unmindful and invites suffering.  We can do the same in our circumstances.  Spiritually speaking when we choose our experiential knowledge over the knowledge of God we invite spiritual suffering.  This dissonance is no more greater than when our circumstances seem to contradict what we know about God.  At that moment we have a Crisis of Faith.  The difficulty with this crisis is that it gets to the root of whether we trust in God.  Do we accept what we have been given with the faith that God will work it out for His Glory and our good?

Abraham is a hero of faith because he chose the absurd and bizarre to be obedient that he might glorify God.  Frankly there are not many people like that in this world, but when it is put into context our minor discomforts seem trivial compared to what Abraham had to go through on those three days.  If we accept Abraham as a hero of faith then we ought to at least model his behavior in our own circumstances even when God does not make sense. 

So what did he do?  First he was listening.  Second, He received the instruction and the moment without objection or fighting.  There are times when we have to do just this.  We have to accept even though it does not make sense.  Third he put his faith into preparations.  It is quite easy to say that you believe something, but it is quite another to act on that belief.  Your actions are evidence of what you believe.  Don't get me wrong, it is easy thing to fall into doubt, but prolonged doubt is the catalyst of spiritual suffering. 

Fourth he moved forward without a clear picture of how God was going to work this out, only with the knowledge that he would.  This part strains the very core of our being.  Humans like to see the end before setting out on a journey.  Unfortunately if we are able to see the end in our mind and like the outcome, then choosing it is nor more faith than picking your favorite meal off a menu.  "I think I will take the Spaghetti Marinara."  Accepting God's will and taking the next step requires great faith when the outcome is unknown especially when the circumstances make it look hopeless. 

Fifth he placed his trust in the Lord's provision.  God is faithful.  Finally he endured great pain.  I think of sheer agony of binding his son in order to offer him up to God.  I would have been an emotional wreck.  Just thinking about it right now brings tears to my eyes and I was not there! 

Enduring pain and agony is the stuff that heroes are made of. I do not aspire to be a hero.  Most heroes don't either.  They are thrust into this role by their circumstances.  They become heroes because they are willing to enter into the absurdity of their circumstances and act in faith without the possibility of knowing if it will turn out good or bad, yet acting anyway! This is at its core is the greatest example of "recieving the moment" that I can think of.  In our own lives we fail to receive the moment when we 1) reject the reality of the situation, 2) fail to act, 3) fail to trust God, 4) try to find some way of escape.

In summary then we have to willing to "receive the moment" as it is.  This is done without fighting, yet not being resigned as a victim of fate.  But rather with great trust in this: 

Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him. Heb 11:6 (HCSB)

And this:

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (HCSB)

With this kind of faith we can move through what ever circumstances this life might give us.  My hope is that when the trial comes my way that I would be found worthy of such honor and put my whole trust in God that He might see me through.

God bless you all!

The Usefulness of Sorrow!

Image via Wikipedia

Here is a sermon I preached a little over a year ago on the topic of sorrow. The follow up sermon "The Usefulness of Happiness" will be posted in the next day or two.

For many of those that follow the culture of happiness we struggle when it comes to sorrow. We fight against sorrow at all cost. Popular psychology has created a belief that sorrow is a disorder that must be treated, avoided, and changed. Don’t get me wrong God does not call us to be gloomy people always sad and depressed. But he does state in his word in the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3, “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven” and “A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.” So If God declares that there is a time for sorrow then why is it that we have such a hard time with it? I believe that there are two answers to this question. First we have not learned the usefulness of sorrow. Second we have been conditioned to think that sorrow something to be avoided at all cost. You may be sitting there this evening thinking what a downer to talk about sorrow on a Sunday evening. Let me just say if you live long enough you will either learn the blessing that sorrow can bring, or you will be eaten up by it. You may be in the midst of sorrow this evening. Let me just say I believe that you can find hope in this message. Let’s pray.

2 Cor 7:5-16 (HCSB)
5 In fact, when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest. Instead, we were afflicted in every way: struggles on the outside, fears inside. 6 But God, who comforts the humble, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort he received from you. He announced to us your deep longing, your sorrow, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more. 8 For although I grieved you with my letter, I do not regret it—even though I did regret it since I saw that the letter grieved you, though only for a little while. 9 Now I am rejoicing, not because you were grieved, but because your grief led to repentance. For you were grieved as God willed, so that you didn’t experience any loss from us. 10 For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produces death. 11 For consider how much diligence this very thing—this grieving as God wills—has produced in you: what a desire to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what deep longing, what zeal, what justice! In every way you have commended yourselves to be pure in this matter. 12 So even though I wrote to you, it was not because of the one who did wrong, or because of the one who was wronged, but in order that your diligence for us might be made plain to you in the sight of God. 13 For this reason we have been comforted. In addition to our comfort, we were made to rejoice even more over the joy Titus had, because his spirit was refreshed by all of you. 14 For if I have made any boast to him about you, I have not been embarrassed; but as I have spoken everything to you in truth, so our boasting to Titus has also turned out to be the truth. 15 And his affection toward you is even greater as he remembers the obedience of all of you, and how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice that I have complete confidence in you.

Sorrow: Mental suffering or pain caused by injury, loss, or despair.

The feeling starts out as a pang that radiates through your whole body. This is bad enough, but begins to settle in and creates pressure on your chest and stomach. It becomes hard to breath and you feel like you are trapped. A few minutes later you are overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness that cannot be weighed out in a single lifetime. This sadness swallows any energy and life in you. As it continues the days grow weary and you scarcely can get out of the chair when you sit or out of bed when you lay down. That is sorrow. Yet this sorrow can be in God’s hands a thing to celebrate.

When sorrow occurs we either attempt to escape it, cover it, or blame it. In a sense our worldly response to sorrow is quite natural. It is the same response that nearly every human being would have in a similar circumstance. . Let me just say that sorrow is a warning system that God has built in each one of us to alert us that something is not right in our world. Sometimes it is myself, sometimes it is others, and sometimes it is just the result of living in a fallen world. Regardless it warns us that something is not right.

Let’s examine some examples worldly sorrow

Kosmos lupe (Worldly Sorrow)
Eat, Drink, Be marry for tomorrow we die (Escapism)
The first Example is the Worldly Sorrow of escapism.

Isaiah 22:12-13 (HCSB)
On that day the Lord God of Hosts called for weeping, for wailing, for shaven heads, and for the wearing of sackcloth. 13 But look: joy and gladness, butchering of cattle, slaughtering of sheep, eating of meat, and drinking of wine— “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die!”

There is a strong tendency for us to believe that sorrow is a bad thing and is to be avoided at all costs. We would think someone who says to celebrate sorrow as being a bit off. We struggle to glance at, listen to, or embrace someone’s sorrow. We are so programmed to run away, that I bet that there are some of you squirming there in your seats that such a topic would be spoken of from the pulpit. It is this unwillingness to acknowledge sorrow that in my opinion leads so many to escapism. Escapism is merely a expression of worldly sorrow. It comes in many forms (as many as the human mind can dream up). Some of the more common examples are overeating, drinking, drugs, the party life, pornography, cutting on oneself, music, entertainment, sports, and the list goes on and on. Escapism is the denial of sorrow by pouring oneself into an activity that does not necessarily glorify God.
Build bigger barns (Holding on to things)
The second example is the worldly sorrow of holding on to things.

Luke 12:16-21 (HCSB)
16 Then He told them a parable: “A rich man’s land was very productive. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What should I do, since I don’t have anywhere to store my crops? 18 I will do this,’ he said. ‘I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones and store all my grain and my goods there. 19 Then I’ll say to myself, “You have many goods stored up for many years. Take it easy; eat, drink, and enjoy yourself.” ’

20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life is demanded of you. And the things you have prepared—whose will they be?’

21 “That’s how it is with the one who stores up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”

This could easily be an example of escapism. This example is the desire to replace sorrow with the holding on to things. And once we have enough things then we will be … happy. Well what do I do when I have collected so many things that there is not room for it anymore? Well in this man’s case he built bigger barns. And unless we think that we are immune to such actions let me ask you a challenging question. Do any of you own or rent a storage shed that is used to store things that you have no idea if you will ever use again or have not used in several years. American’s buy into bigger is better. When we run out of room our thought is to be bigger. Well being bigger for the sake of being bigger does not glorify God, unless that we are building the kingdom. Building the kingdom is the only thing that has eternal significance. A life lived in the pursuit of things is a sorrowful life that leads to the death of the soul.

Can’t remember what he said, but he sure moved my heart. (Forgetfulness)
The Third example is the worldly sorrow of forgetfullness

I know that I have been guilty of this type of sorrow in the past and maybe you have been too. How many of you have listen to a powerful sermon and been pierced to the heart only to later in the day not even recall what the sermon was about? Let me see a show of hands. OK did you get that picture taken so we can show the pastor when he gets back. I'm Joking.

James 1:22-25 (HCSB)
22 But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 Because if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man looking at his own face in a mirror; 24 for he looks at himself, goes away, and right away forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But the one who looks intently into the perfect law of freedom and perseveres in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer who acts—this person will be blessed in what he does.

How easy it is to forget our sorrow than it is to acknowledge it and then do something about it. We don’t like feeling bad, but if our only goal is to not feel bad then this sorrow of forgetfulness becomes a real possibility. We do not act but rather we forget the thing that made us sorrowful.

Don’t bring me down, just let me be (denial)
The Forth example is the worldly sorrow of denial

In our quest to reach people for Christ, we must caution ourselves to never compromise the gospel's standards in order to accommodate those people who are not interested in repentance. Billy Graham's sentiments on this concern are most appropriate: "We are dangerously near to saying to the prodigal son, 'It is not necessary to return to your father and home; we can make you comfortable in the pigpen.'"i
This type of worldly sorrow fits in with the notion that I am not as bad as the next guy. It also is the sentiment that if I am basically a good person and do not do any things that are too bad or too many bad things then God will accept me. God is love. The Christian is not immune to this type of sorrow either. It usually takes the form of, “Who are you to judge me…” This type of sorrow usually attacks the source. It denies the truth and there by denies the sorrow that the truth produces.

What if… (Worry)
The fifth example is the worldly sorrow of worry.

Sorrow is a place where sadness and anxiety meet. They are good friends and dwell in the soul of those that have worldly sorrow. This sorrow of worry is best described in Matthew 13

“V3 Consider the sower who went out to sow…v7 Others fell among thorns, and the thorns came up and choked them… V23 Now the one sown among the thorns—this is one who hears the word, but the worries of this age and the seduction of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful”

Notice that the sorrow of collecting more things is right there along side the sorrow of worry. Worldly sorrow of worry leads to a choked out life that becomes unfruitful. This person hears the word of God and grows up in it, but because of the worries of the world God’s word does not produce the fruit of a Christian life. In its extreme form this worry becomes paranoia. The person begins to look for danger in everyday life. Their conception of God becomes one that see Him as just waiting to zap them for something wrong. In some cases it leads to a very legalistic life where the true motivation for obeying God’s word it to avoid punishment.

Melancholy
Our final example is the worldly sorrow of melancholy

It is this sorrow that we usually think about when we hear the word sorrow.
If there be a hell upon earth it is to be found in a melancholy man's heart.
Robert Burton (1577–1640)

I will not go to the verses, but will just point out two people from the Bible that were affected by the sorrow of melancholy. The first murder was committed when a Cain suffering from worldly melancholy refused to repent even when God was gracious enough to point out that repentance was needed. He continued his melancholy life and killed his brother. He ended up being a curse to himself and to the human race. The other person would be King Saul. He started out good enough, but overcome by melancholy he was led and led the people of Israel in to all sorts of evils. He even attempted to kill his son’s best friend; David had even ministered to he during his many bouts of worldly sorrow. King Saul eventually committed suicide on the battlefield rather than to face the agony of defeat. “Melancholy and sadness are the start of doubt … doubt is the beginning of despair; despair is the cruel beginning of the differing degrees of wickedness.” This includes death through suicide and murder.

Let me just summarize the forms of worldly sorrow. We have the Sorrow of escapism, the sorrow of holding onto things, the sorrow of forgetfulness, the sorrow of denial, the sorrow of worry, and the sorrow of melancholy. And now that I have made you feel sufficiently low let me build you back up. Before I do though I want to talk to you about celebrating sorrow.

Paul says in 2 Cor 7:6-9 (HCSB) 6 But God, who comforts the humble, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort he received from you. He announced to us your deep longing, your sorrow, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more. 8 For although I grieved you with my letter, I do not regret it—even though I did regret it since I saw that the letter grieved you, though only for a little while. 9 Now I am rejoicing, not because you were grieved, but. For you were grieved as God willed, so that you didn’t experience any loss from us.

Let’s face it sorrow is not any fun. It is not something that we seek out. Oh God make me sorrowful, I really miss that feeling. “For although I grieved you with my letter, I do not regret it” Those are hard words. We are often in the business of making sure that people do not feel badly. We want people to come to God because they feel good about it. I know that those who have been in church their whole lives that came to God in a positive way growing up in a Christian home. They felt good about it. Repentance was simply continuing down the path toward God that their parents had already started them on. However, I cannot think of a single person that has come to Christ that does not pass through a valley of sorrow on the road of repentance. Sorrow is not something to be avoided. It is to be embraced and rejoiced. Why? “For the sorrow according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation!” Let’s now examine Godly sorrow.

Kata theos lupe (Godly Sorrow)
1.Weeping and mourning in the evening, but joy comes in the morning (Wrestling)

Psalms 30:5 (HCSB)
Weeping may spend the night, but there is joy in the morning.

Psalms 126:5-6 (HCSB)
5 Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy. 6 Though one goes along weeping, carrying the bag of seed, he will surely come back with shouts of joy, carrying his sheaves.

Do you ever feel like your sorrows have come to spend the night with you? Has sorrow taken up residence in your heart and life. Weeping has come to stay this evening. We know that he is not a very pleasant guest, but we welcome him just the same. Here is the hope when we endure this Godly sorrow of wrestling blessing comes in the morning. There is a new day dawning for you. AMEN

The reason a call this the Godly sorrow of wrestling is because it reminds me of Jacob wrestling with that Angel of the Lord through the night. I believe that the Godly sorrow of wrestling is the spiritual answer to the worldly sorrow of escapism. Think about it what happens at night if you are feeling down. Do you go out and party, or do you stay home and pour out your heart to God. Recall that Jacob was filled with fear and sorrow that his brother may seek to kill him the next morning. Usually Jacob would attempt to figure a cleaver way to get himself out of trouble. This time would be different. He did have a plan, but this night he would turn to God. God sent the Angel of the Lord and Jacob wrestled with Him through the night. As morning was breaking Jacob refused to let go of the Angel of the Lord until He had bless him. The Angel of the Lord gave Jacob the name Israel, blessed him and touched his hip putting it out of joint. This sorrow of wrestling is a challenge to all of us. When we look at our circumstances and believe that all hope is lost or the task at hand is too difficult what do we do? Do you turn tail and run. Do you figure some cleaver way out? Or do we do as Jacob did and turn to God and wrestle with Him until He gives us the answer that we so desperately need. Are you wrestling with Him now? DON’T GIVE UP weeping may be here this evening, you may be suffering through this seemingly endless spiritual darkness, but if you turn to God your spiritual morning will soon dawn and what a glorious day that will be. Praise God.

2.Sell all you have, give to the poor and follow me (Following)
Recall the Rich man who came to Jesus with the conviction that something was missing in his life. Jesus pointed the man to the moral teachings and the man indicated that he still did not have a fulfilled life. He had sorrow in his heart that things were not as they should be. The next part should pierce us to the heart if we should ever consider the sorrow of holding on to things, because Jesus says in Matt 19:21 (HCSB) “If you want to be perfect (or complete), go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me.”

The reality is the Christian walk is filled with things that we need to give up if we are to follow Jesus. Worldly Sorrow gets hung up on the giving up stuff. That is the worldly sorrow of holding on to things. However Godly sorrow moves through this to the double blessing of giving or ministering and a closer walk with God. There is a saying that says “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” This man responded with the worldly sorrow of holding on to things. How will you respond when God through His Holy Spirit shows you things that you need to give up? I hope that you follow through to the place of following Him. This is a greater blessing than anything this world can offer. AMEN

3.Be not a hearer only, but an effectual doer (Obeying)
You might say that does not make since there is sorrow obeying. No it is the sorrow that leads to obeying. Let’s turn back to

James 1:21-25 (HCSB) “Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and evil excess, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save you. 22 But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 Because if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man looking at his own face in a mirror; 24 for he looks at himself, goes away, and right away forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But the one who looks intently into the perfect law of freedom and perseveres in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer who acts—this person will be blessed in what he does. “

Let me just hit a few key points as I do not want to preach another sermon, but I do see in these verses what Godly sorrow is to produce. First is the putting off of things ungodly. There must be a repentance of those things that grieve God. Second we must become an effective doer, which means obedience to God’s Law of freedom. We have great liberty in Christ, but we enslave ourselves again when we are not obedient to what God has revealed to us. So the next time you hear a convicting sermon, write down what it is that God wants you to do and do it. That is the Godly sorrow that leads to obedience.

4.Confess your sin and He is able to forgive and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (Confessing)
I remember that scene from the passion of Christ were Peter who has just denied Jesus three times and received the piercing yet compassionate look from Jesus. He was broken, grieved, and wept bitterly. I believe that the Godly sorrow of confession overcomes the worldly sorrow of denial. Fast forward to when Christ appears by the lake and Peter and the disciples have returned to fishing. When they realize that it is Jesus Peter cannot wait for the boat to come to shore, but jumps in the water and swims to his Savior. They have dinner together and Jesus gives Peter a chance to confess his love for Him three times. So when we are tempted to deny our sin or deny Christ we must remember, “If we confess our sins Jesus is faithful and just to forgive our sins.” And “If we confess Jesus before men then He will confess us before the God the father in heaven.”

5.Seek first the kingdom of God and these will be added to you. (Turning to God)
The worldly sorrow of anxiety has an easy cure. Melancholy is melted away in one simple move. The cure is your move to passionately seek after God’s Kingdom. You recall “seek first the kingdom of God and these things will be added unto you.” Seeking the Kingdom of God is not without its moments of sorrow. There are times when you feel defeated and beaten down. There are times that you are attacked for the faith. There are times when people reject the good that you do. What is the answer? Seek First. Sorrow should turn your heart back to God every time. When you feel it in your soul you ought to examine your life and repent of selfishness, self-centeredness and seek after God. Even when you do that soul searching and find nothing wrong, that feeling of sorrow ought to push you to the arms of God, even when you are faultless in the situation; this next story illustrates how seeking after God is the answer.

Father's Day was an enjoyable day for the Simonton family in 1990. The day that followed was not. Lee Simonton left for work with his new Father's Day wing-tip shoes and a promise to be home for lunch. At 10:40 a.m. his promise to return was broken. An irate customer stormed into the Jacksonville, Florida, General Motors Acceptance Corporation office where Lee worked and opened fire with a semi-automatic rifle and a handgun. He shot two customers and twelve employees before turning the gun on himself. Lee became a fatality, because he shielded a female co-worker from the gunfire. His tragic death brought unbearable pain to his wife and two children. The loss of both love and security were terribly frightening for them. They were hurt, scared, and angry over the lot they had received. Yet, from the pages of God's Word they found divine peace and hope. Psalm 37 gave Debra the strength to forgive the man who took her husband and replaced her bitterness with peace. Six-year-old Melissa took comfort in verse 25 of her mother's Psalm: "I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread." In Exodus 22:22-24 the little man of the house, eight-year-old Josh, claimed the promise of God to defend widows and orphans. Together they bravely walked the pathway of sorrow and along their journey they found "the peace which passes all understanding." It is only God who can provide such peace in the midst of painful sorrow.

Let me just ask you where are you tonight with regard to sorrow. Have you been stuck in the dying of worldly sorrow? Has worldly sorrow choked out the life in you? Or maybe you have just recently felt the pangs of sorrow and are wondering, “What should I do?” “Why is this happening to me?” “I hate feeling this way.” Maybe you’re here tonight and you do not know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Let me ask what each of are going to do? Will you turn to God and Wrestle with him so that he can bring an eventual end to this night of sorrow that you feel? Will you give all that you have and follow Him? Is it time for you to get serious about remembering and being obedient to the things that he had shown you? Are you ready to make a break with sin by confessing it? Are you prepared for the awesome task of confessing your love for Jesus? Are you seeking God’s kingdom in all that you do? Are you ready to throw yourself upon the Grace of God? If you do then I will rejoice, not because I made you feel sorry, but that your sorrow did not suffer loss and led you to repentance and salvation. Let’s pray!