Remorse without Repentance

Image by ashley.adcox via Flickr

There are times when we are filled with regret.  However that regret does not lead to any sort of life change. 

For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produces death.
2 Corinthians 7:10 (HCSB)

This is worldly remorse.  I have posted on this before here.  However I thought it would be good to draw a contrast between feeling sorry about something and true repentance. 

Unmerited Self-Reproach

There is a type of regret that comes when you have not done anything wrong.  Perhaps it is dealing with a consequence of someone else's sin.  Perhaps it is dealing with negative consequences of making the right choice.  That's right we can regret making the right choice if we let regret come in to our hearts.  At other times we are quick to assume that we have done something worthy of apology.  Perpetually saying "I am sorry."  This type of regret is pointless. 

The only thing it does is make us feel badly and there is nothing to repent of other than turning from the inward self-focus to a outward God-focus.  It seems that we become so self absorbed that we begin to take credit for everything good or bad, but especially bad.  That is somewhat arrogant if you think about it.  How could all things be my fault? 

Some other things that might be going on:  God could be showing you something (like how to trust Him), there might be a person that needs to experience God's love and God has place you in their path to show them that love, you may be experiencing persecution for doing the right thing, maybe your opinion needs to be heard and is wisdom that God has given you.  What ever the case may be unmerited self-reproach is not repentance it is worldly sorrow and it kills the spirit. 

Guilt of Being Caught

We have a great capacity to sear our conscience to dull the conviction that something is wrong until we get caught.  For the Christian in addition we grieve the Holy Spirit until He leaves us to experience full consequence of sin.   What ever the case may be we continue in this sin until we are caught.  At that moment we have a choice.  Do we put our effort into damage control and minimizing the effects of getting caught or do we seek genuine repentance. 

The guilt of being caught is not repentance.  Repentance requires a true change of heart, a change of direction, a change is purpose.  What is difficult is that guilt of being caught and true repentance can look very much the same.  In both there is cessation of the offending behavior.  In the case of guilt of being caught the cessation is more like a pause than a change.  This pause can continue for a long time, sometimes indefinitely.  Both can be accompanied by expressions of remorse.  Both can be accompanied by renewed religious devotion. 

The difference?   Well there are a few.  The guilt of being caught is self-centered.  Repentance is God/Spirit centered.  The guild of being caught is more interested in removing consequences of sin, where as repentance is more interested in removing the guilt of sin (through a right relationship with God).  Guilt of being caught is motivated by the desire to escape pain.  Repentance is motivated by the desire to experience God's peace.  It seems that arrogance is the root of the lack of repentance in this matter as well.  It is a attitude of "I can fix this." This I can fix this attitude leads a person to arrogantly undo and restore what cannot possibly be repaid. 

In the end it is an empty pursuit not leading to lasting change.  Often the end of guilt from getting caught leads to blame of others, resentment and bitterness, or avoidance that festers in the soul like a infection under the skin.  What is needed is humble repentance from the arrogant attitude that "I can fix this!" and from the original offence to trust in God and His forgiveness. 

Melancholic Guilt

There are times that people experience genuine remorse, but never get around to repentance.  Their guilt is overwhelming and they cannot remove it.   They become intensely aware of their own shortcomings becoming anxious, distressed, and depressed.  They discover that no amount of undoing will ever make things right.  Don't get me wrong; you can make amends to restore a relationship or pay restitution for damages, but you can never come up with a payment big enough to undo the guilt of sin. 

Melancholic guilt is a deep intimacy with the hopelessness of the guilt of un repentant sin.  Sometimes people live lives of desperation in this place because they are not aware that there is another option.  Other times they know about the peace of God, but believe the deception that either they have to undo the guilt then come to God, or that the guilt they bear is to great for God to forgive.  Still other times Melancholic Guilt occurs when a person realizes that repentance does not remove the consequences of sin.  The biggest problem with melancholic guilt is that it never leads to a changed life and it robs you of the peace that God offers through His Son Jesus Christ. 

To repent of Melancholic Guilt one much without reservation confess the sin that has brought the guilt into your life.   Then trust in God to work through your circumstances for better or for worse, but always for your good (Romans 8:28).  To fall back into melancholic guilt after you have turned to God for forgiveness is really a sign that you do not trust God to work through your circumstances.  If there are ongoing consequences to your sin embrace them and then turn them over to God.  This ongoing turning to (repentance) God will allow His peace to flow into your life. 

If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9 (HCSB)
If we confess our sins, He (Jesus) is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (HCSB)

Have a Blessed Day

Meditation: Repentance

I do not have a specific verse for this mornings meditation.  I have more of what God has shown me through His word, though observation of others, and through personal experience. 

Repentance is not...

Wanting to change	thinking about change
hoping for change	feeling bad about something
guilt	remorse
sadness	changing behavior
trying harder	praying more
reading the Bible more	going forward in church
saying "I'm sorry"	promising to do better

To be sure all these things may be involved in repentance, but in and of themselves they are not repentance. 

Psalm 51:4

In order for repentance to occur one must be first aware that repentance is needed.  There is change that is most definitely needed in the life of a person.  Others may see the need for change, but until the person themselves is aware they cannot repent.  What is more often we push this awareness away from our conscious mind.  The recognition that a change is needed is too painful and so we push that awareness away.  We can also deny that a change is needed in the face of insurmountable evidence to the contrary.  It is amazing to me the level of denial that a human mind can come up with when all else points him/her in a different direction.  This denial keeps a person away from repentance.  Whether through ignorance, avoidance, or denial a lack of awareness that one needs to repent will keep one from repenting.  Awareness that a change is needed is not the same as repentance.  It is simply the first step in making a change.

How does one become aware that a change is needed?

  It is clear to me that God's word and his Holy Spirit are needed to make one aware of sin. 

Paul explains it this way,  "...sin, in order to be recognized as sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that through the commandment, sin might become sinful beyond measure (Romans 7:13)."  God's word helps us to recognize when we have missed the mark.  Sin is just that "missing the mark."  We are imperfect and have many flaws leading us to miss the mark.  If a person says they do not sin then they are ignorant (1 Corinthians 15:34) or they are lying (1 John 1:8).   God's word removes ignorance and forces out of self deception.  When sin is in a person's life often a devotion to God's word is the first casualty. 

The Holy Spirit plays a role in making one aware of sin (John 16:8-9).  The Holy Spirit convicts regarding sin, righteousness, and judgment.  Without the calling of the Holy Spirit our natural inclinations would be to go astray (Galatians 5:16-18).    In fact no one is drawn to the Father (God) except by the work of the Holy Spirit (John 6:63-65) and the Spirit does this at the bidding of the Father.

At this point the person is at a crisis of faith.  He/She either believes the Word of God and the conviction of the Holy Spirit or she/he denies the need of repentance.  It is a sorry thing when a person refuses to repent.  The immediate consequence is a removal of the peace that God desires to give.  The long term consequence is the removal of God's blessing and protection.  The eternal consequence for the unbeliever is separation from God.

All this to say that recognition of the need for change is a prerequisite to repentance. 

Change of Will

Once a person has this recognition they have to take the next step which is a change of will.  To repent you have desire the change.  Being aware that a change is needed is well and good, but if you do not desire to change then your repentance will be short lived.  There has to be a change of desire that occurs in the innermost part of your being.  This desire is a restoration of hungering and thirsting for righteousness. 

For consider how much diligence this very thing-this grieving as God wills-has produced in you: what a desire to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what deep longing, what zeal, what justice! In every way you showed yourselves to be pure in this matter.
2 Corinthians 7:11 (HCSB)

Desire to clear, indignation, fear, deep longing, zeal, and justice.  Those are powerful words.  Meditate on them.  Let them sink into your soul.  Let them spark spiritual life into your mind, body, and action.  These things grant inward repentance.  Transformation that is inside out. 

Change in Direction

Turn to Me and be saved, all the ends of the earth. For I am God, and there is no other.
Isaiah 45:22 (HCSB)

Repentance is a change in direction.  It is a change from worthless things to God (Acts 14:15).  It is a change from self-centeredness to God (Proverbs 18:1).  It is a change from "I got to have it" attitude to God (James 3:16).  Repentance is a change from a passive attitude about sin to a recognition of sin as God sees it (James 4:8-10).  Repentance is seeking God's Glory over the glory of men (John 5:44).  In short repentance is an about face from all the selfish desire and attractions of this worlds to a forward facing devotion to God and his kingdom (Matthew 6:33).

Change in Fruit

Repentance is a change in actions.  The actions in and of themselves hold no real power to repentance.  They are merely evidence of the change that has already occurred on the inside.  Often people will seek to do great works as a way to undo or compensate for the wrong that they have done.  This type of change is not repentance, but rather is works based religion.  The fruit of repentance is cultivating those things in your life that lead to genuine spiritual growth. 

In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can't produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit.
Matthew 7:17-18 (HCSB)

What is this fruit?  Here is a good list:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23 (HCSB)

A person growing in these with consistency demonstrates the Spirit of God working in him/her.  A change of fruit demonstrates the change of heart.  That is repentance.  

Have a blessed day!

The Blessedness of Guilt

Image by fakelvis via Flickr

I am sure glad that God created the capacity for us to feel guilt. Yes you heard me right.  Guilt is a wonderful gift of God.  I believe all of our emotions are a gift from God.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  However, just like other emotions, guilt because of sin can lead to increased suffering if not properly handled.  I preached a sermon on this subject a while back on The Usefulness of Sorrow which lays out the basis of my thinking on the benefit of sorrow.  Though the issue of guilt is not directly addressed in this sermon I believe that guilt can be a type of sorrow that is addressed in the passage from 2 Corinthians 7:5-16.  I want to focus specifically on the feeling of guilt. 

Three types of guilt that are soul killers (2 Cor 7:10). 

The first type of guilt that kills the spirit is the guilt of unmerited self-reproach.  In this type of guilt literally everything becomes his/her fault in her/his mind.  A person becomes sorry for everything.  He is sorry for having an opinion.  She is sorry for something over which she had no hand in nor has the ability to control or change.  He is sorry over breathing air.  She is sorry for being an inconvenience.  Everything becomes a opportunity for self reproach and makes the person feel defeated and deflated.  This type of sorrow is very easy to identify.  People that struggle with this type of sorrow almost always start (or end) their sentences on serious matters with the words, "I am sorry..."  Being overly apologetic is a good sign that you suffer from the guilt of self-reproach. 

The second type of guilt is the guilt of being caught.  There are some people who feel this intensely.  Often this type of guilt starts off with projecting blame on to someone or something else.  It then moves on to avoiding the subject all together.  It is pushed away from awareness.  In some respects all forms of guilt touch on this type in some manner.  But for those that struggle with this type of guilt they never move forward.  The are forever feeling badly about being found out.  Many times the guilty behaviors lead them deeper into the thing they were caught doing or a superficial change that is later revealed to not be genuine.  If the truth be told these people would not have considered changing their misdeeds if they were never caught.  Before we start throwing stones we should realize that we all have the capacity to be this way. 

The third type of guilt is one of melancholic guilt.  In this guilt a person feels a deep sense of remorse.  They recount over and over their misdeeds.  "How have I wronged you let me recount the ways."  They cry (with or without actual tears) and carry on for a long time.   This guilt is one of feeling a deep personal loss of self-respect.  It becomes a form of perpetual self-punishment with no relief.  The person believes she deserves to feel this way and so she is going to wallow in her self-pity. 

The problem with these forms of guilt is that none lead to relief or lasting change.  They are soul killers.  They drag a person ever deeper into spiritual death.   They are as destructive if not more than the event/act that triggered the feeling in the first place.  Many times it leads a person to avoid whatever or whomever makes them feel guilty with out a change of heart.  It leads a person to think, "If I can avoid this situation then I never have to deal with or be aware of my guilt."  This avoidance then perpetuates the root issue that is leading to the guilty state.  So what can we do about it?

Godly Guilt

Paul was rejoicing that his words of confrontation led to a feeling of grief dare I say guilt (2 Cor 7:9).  He felt this way because the confrontation led them to feel guilty and then led them to repentance.  Godly guilt is one that brings about change.  Not the superficial change that is seen in the guilt of getting caught, but a true desire to make things right (2 Cor 7:11).  Repentance is a change in heart that leads to a change in action.  This is the true usefulness of guilt.  It leads a person down a road that will reap a harvest of righteousness when God's Grace is applied to the situation. 

Godly Guilt Applied

May I suggest the follow practical application of this:

1. When ever you feel that familiar feeling of guilt stop and ask these questions:  1) Is this a situation that I should indeed feel guilty about?  Do I have culpability? -Or- am I engaging in unmerited self-reproach?  2) OK I have been caught so do I truly feel remorse or is it just unpleasant that I have been caught? 3) I feel sorrow, but am I willing to turn this around?  Notice that the way out of the worldly guilt starts with acknowledging that you have guilty feelings and then proceeds to look at the issue at hand rather than avoid it.  By asking these questions you evaluate if this is unmerited self-reproach, guilt of being caught, or melancholic guilt. 
2. The next step then is to turn this guilt into action.  First let it sink down into your soul.  Yes I said let it sink down which is similar to Melancholic guilt, but with one distinction let it produce a desire to change the state of affairs.  Guilt that changes the heart is a precious gift of God.  Repentance starts in the heart.  Let the guilt grow to produce a desire to clear yourselves,  indignation, fear, deep longing, zeal, and desire for just living (2 Cor 7:11)! 
3. Next offer up a prayer to God and ask with the deepest sincerity, "God what would you have me change?"  Reflect on the matter and see what God reveals to you. 
4. Then Identify the first step that you need to take to change and do it.  Don't stay stuck in worldly guilt allow Godly guilt to move you to repentance of heart leading to a change in direction.  Do not let one moment of guilt escape you so as to produce inaction and thereby worldly sorrow and spirit death.  In every way seek to commend yourselves to be pure in the matter (2 Cor 7:11).  By doing this you will move into the blessing of guilt. 

If you are able to turn it around (with God's help and guidance) then you will be able to experience the true change and genuine relief from suffering that guilt produces.  In doing this you will be able to produce diligence, comfort, joy, refreshing, removal of embarrassment, affection, obedience, and confidence in your life and the lives of others around you (2 Cor 7:12-16).