God of Love and Fellowship of Believers

 2 Corinthians 13:11–13 CSB

Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice. Become mature, be encouraged, be of the same mind, be at peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints send you greetings. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

At times we tend to check out when someone begins to wrap up. Maybe it is our tendency to let our mind drift to the next task at hand. Maybe we have gone beyond our attention span. However, in the case of the letter to the Corinthians we would do well to focus on Paul’s closing words.

In this closing he has six admonitions, three encouragements, and one double encouragement. That is a whole lot packed into just five sentences. Let’s look at these.

First the Double encouragement. Paul says, “the God of love… … will be with you” and “the love of God… … be with you all.” The first statement is conditional on the following five of the admonitions that Paul lists in 2 Corinthians 13:11. More on these later. The second statement is a benediction of sorts.

It is interesting that the first statement “God of Love” shows that God is the possessor and origin of love. This promise is not so much that God’s love will be with the believers, but rather that God the author of love will be with us. This is significant in my estimation. It stresses the importance of being in a relationship with the “God of Love.”

The second statement though God is loving believers. In this case God is providing love to the objects of His affection “You all.”

Taken together then God is the possessor and giver of love. Time and again the Bible stresses how love and God are connected. It is the lifeblood of Christian experience to understand the source and receive the love of God. We cannot short ourselves in this way. We unhitch ourselves from sincere faith when we do not connect to the love of God. Without love Christianity becomes dead religion!

Paul connected God’s loving presence to five admonitions. Now to be clear God is everywhere. So, I think that Paul is suggesting if we want to experience the fullness of the God of love and peace then we ought to be engaged in these things. These five things are “rejoice,” “Become Mature,” “Be encouraged,” “Be of same mind,” and “Be at peace.” Two of these “Become mature” and “Be encouraged” are passive. That is to say that they are something that happens to us rather than something we do. The others “rejoice,” “Be of same mind,” and “be at peace” are things we actively do.

Becoming mature is something we are in the process of doing at this present time. Every moment of everyday we are growing into something. In this case we are growing into maturity in Christ. We are preparing for what comes next. We attend to this so that we are fully prepared when the time comes. Our part is to allow God to use the life lessons and His Word to train us for what God has in store for us. So often we grumble over the unpleasant things in life. I have done so many times. However, if we are to take this command seriously, we ought to embrace the preparation as an opportunity to grow in maturity.

It might seem strange that the depth of our relationship with God would be contingent on receiving encouragement. So often we tend to focus on the quality and sincerity of the one doing the encouraging. In this passage though Paul’s focus is on the one receiving the encouragement. One clue is the word used here is the same root word Christ used to describe the Holy Spirit as the counselor in John 14:16-17. One way to think about this is to refuse encouragement is one way that we quench the Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:19). In the context of the body of Christ God through the ministry of the Holy Spirit may use the Spirit directly or God may use other Spirit filled believers to be an encouragement to us. When we through the hardness of our own hearts fail to receive encouragement, we stifle this work of the Spirit of God. Another way to say think about this command is that we must open our hearts to receive of God’s love whether directly from God or through other believers. Bottom line it is a heart issue as to whether we receive encouragement or not. One leading to Spiritual Blessing and the other leading to cynicism.

As Christians we are to rejoice. Let’s face there are many reasons to grieve. Even love is utterly distressed over unrighteousness (1 Corinthians 13:6). But notice that love rejoices in truth. So, what are these truths that we are to rejoice over?

• The Birth of Christ (Matthew 2:10; Luke 1:14)
• Insults, persecutions, personal attacks, sufferings because of standing for Christ (Matthew 5:11-12; Luke 6:22-23; Acts 5:41; Colossians 1:24; 1 Peter 4:13)
• Our names are written in heaven / Our salvation (Luke 10:20; Acts 8:39)
• Sinners that repent / are saved (Luke 15:7; Acts 11:21-23; Acts 13:46-48; Romans 16:19; 2 Corinthians 7:5-16)
• Restored Relationships (Luke 15:32)
• Hearing Jesus (John 3:29)
• Sorrow turns to Joy (John 16:19-22)
• The resurrection of Christ (John 20:20)
• An encouraging word (Acts 15:31)
• In Hope (Romans 12:12)
• With others that are rejoicing (Romans 12:15)
• Fellowship with fellow servants (1 Corinthians 16:15-18)
• In your own weakness and others strength (1 Corinthians 13:9)
• When the Gospel is preached (Philippians 1:18)
• Sacrificial service to others (Philippians 2:17-18)
• When believers recover from sickness (Philippians 2:27-28)
• In the Lord (Philippians 3:1; Philippians 4:4)
• When others support you (Philippians 4:10)
• Obedient Christians (Colossians 2:5; 2 John 4; 3 John 3)
• Return of Christ (Revelation 19:7)

We have much to rejoice. And so, if we want the fullness of the “God of love and peace” we do well to dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8).

As Christians we are called to unity. This is hard. However, Paul is connecting unity to having God’s presence in our lives. Unity is always not 100% agreement on all things. This is a general disposition to be in a right relationship with one another. We see this described in greater detail in Romans 12:13-16

Romans 12:13–16 CSB

Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

This is a good description of what it means to be of the “same mind.” It is more of a disposition than it is conformity.

God of Love and Peace reveals Himself to those that are actively pursuing peace. Jesus says “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9) and to “be at peace with one another” (Mark 9:50). Paul explains that we have an obligation to “live at peace with everyone” and building up of others (Romans 12:18; Romans 14:19). The writer of Hebrews says that “pursing peace with everyone” is connected to Holiness and without these we will not see God (Hebrews 12:14). Peace is something that is actively pursued. There is no indication that we are to passively wait for others to make peace with us. It is hard when we feel justified in our stance to avoid making peace. However, we must pursue peace with others even when part of us may not want to. This is a real struggle for me at times. However, if I want the fullness of the God’s presence in my life, I must pursue peace.

The last admonition is “Greet one another with a Holy Kiss.” We live in a vastly different culture here in the United States than the time that this was written. There are some cultures today in which this verse could be taken quite literally. However, if you walked up and kissed someone (not a family member) at church that would be quite odd. So, what are we to do with this admonition?

Often acts that are portrayed in scripture are representative of a deeper truth. If we can understand what the act is intended to convey, we can still live out that truth even though we do not do that specific act.

The first thing to note is that the act is Holy. That is to say without deception (Matthew 26:49), or lust (Galatians 5:16). On the positive it is with sincerity. The act of the kiss itself is a ritual greeting of affection and welcome.

In our modern times then, an affectionate greeting could be a wave, kind “hello,” “welcome,” of “glad you are here,” handshake, fist bump, hug (side hug). There are many ways to affectionately greet one another. So as believers we are to affectionately greet one another. Keep in mind this is not merely limited to believers with whom you already have affection. Church life should be welcoming to all.

Paul ends his letter with four important encouragements (2 Corinthians 13:12-13). We are a part of a larger body of believers. We are encouraged when other “saints” send warm greetings and we bless other churches when we do the same. The grace of Jesus Christ is with us. God’s unmerited favor rests on all who follow Christ. That is the grace of Jesus Christ. The love of God is with us. This was already discussed earlier. The final encouragement is that the fellowship of the Holy Spirit is with us. It is the presence of the Holy Spirit that gives life, love, worship, Bible study meaning and purpose. The fellowship of God’s Holy Spirit with our Spirit is fundamental to all that we do as believers. When we venture out and the fellowship with God’s Spirit is quenched or grieved, we lose our ability to walk by the Spirit and end up pursuing works of the flesh.

In conclusion then, God is love and peace! God's love is toward those that rejoice, receive encouragement, are becoming mature, pursuing unity, and pursuing peace. We express affection and welcome to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ both in our local church as well as to other believers from other churches. Finally, we are encouraged by the presence of Jesus’ grace, God’s love, and Holy Spirit’s fellowship.

May God Richly Bless You.

~BJ

 

Sermon: Great Expectations

Audio: Great Expectation
Slides:
 
Text:

Chippie the parakeet never saw it coming. One second he was peacefully perched in his cage. The next he was sucked in, washed up, and blown over.

The problems began when Chippie's owner decided to clean Chippie's cage with a vacuum cleaner. She removed the attachment from the end of the hose and stuck it in the cage. The phone rang, and she turned to pick it up. She'd barely said "hello" when "ssssopp!" Chippie got sucked in.

The bird owner gasped, put down the phone, turned off the vacuum, and opened the bag. There was Chippie -- still alive, but stunned.

Since the bird was covered with dust and soot, she grabbed him and raced to the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and held Chippie under the running water. Then, realizing that Chippie was soaked and shivering, she did what any compassionate bird owner would do . . . she reached for the hair dryer and blasted the pet with hot air.

Poor Chippie never knew what hit him.

A few days after the trauma, the reporter who'd initially written about the event contacted Chippie's owner to see how the bird was recovering. "Well," she replied, "Chippie doesn't sing much anymore -- he just sits and stares."

It's hard not to see why. Sucked in, washed up, and blown over . . . That's enough to steal the song from the stoutest heart.

~Max Lucado, In the Eye of the Storm, Word Publishing, 1991, p. 11.

I would like to share from Matthew 11:1-6.  In this passage we will see how John the Baptist had been sucked in, washed up, and blown over, and how Jesus pointed John the way to restore the song of his heart.  Let’s pray.

Sermon: In the Midst of Darkness 3/13/11

Here is the MP3 for the sermon that I preached last week.  It loosely follows this post: In the midst of dark times.

Surrender

I had a chance to share a song with the church this last Sunday.  You can hear the song Undone by the group FFH here.  The song spoke to me the first time I heard it.  Surrender is not something that we typically focus on in our lives.  It runs against the grain of our natural humanity.  It is taken as a weakness to the natural man.  Spiritually though surrender is strength.  This truth is Spiritually discerned.  That is to say that it can only be understood with the aid of God's Holy Spirit.  It goes something like this. 

There once was a man that was angry.  He had a hard life.  He was not very popular growing up.  He was socially awkward and did not have any close friends.  He was often the target of taunts.  He even was assaulted at times by other boys that disrespected him.   The physical aspect of the assaults were not nearly as bad as the emotional damage.  He learned to hate people.  People are not to be trusted under any circumstance what so ever.  He lived his life not trusting people beyond what it took to get his basic needs met in this life.  His anger and bitterness grew with every passing year. 

In time he met a woman.  She was very outgoing.  You have heard that opposites attract well in this case you could not come up with a greater opposite than this.  He was shocked at first that someone so out going would even take an interest in him (a recluse).  They met in a coffee shop.  He was sitting working on his laptop finishing up some last minute changes for a presentation he was going to do later that day.  She saw him there typing away and decided to walk over to him.  She asked him what he was doing.  I am not sure if he was distracted with his work so his guard was down, but he talked with her when normally he would have chased her off with a gruff answer as if to say, "leave me alone." 

They hit it off and became good friends.  They would regularly meet at the coffee shop they met in.  As he let his guard down he found himself becoming more and more fond of her.  She also like him.  She would always say, "You make me think.  So many people just want to talk about the weather or sports, but when I am with you I feel like I can talk about anything."  As time passed their relationship became romantic.  He overcame his awkwardness with a deep sincerity that the woman had never known.  Everything was perfect. 

This story does not have a Hollywood ending though.  After a year of dating the man asked his girlfriend to marry.  She accepted.  They wanted to get married soon, but there was many plans to be made.  After what seemed to be an eternity (but was only 6 months) the day was quickly approaching.  The following week they were to be married and start their lives together. 

He got the call about 11:30 that evening.  "We have to talk" a shaky voice said on the other end of the line. 

"Is everything OK?"

"No it is not OK, but I don't want to tell you over the phone.  Can you meet me now?"

They set up a meeting at the coffee shop.  Unfortunately the shop was closed.  Just as well for what happened next. 

As he sat in the car with her his head was swimming with what could possibly be so wrong.  He greatest fear was that she was going to say that she did not want to get married.  He did not understand.

She said, "This is the hardest thing I have ever had to say.  You are the sweetest man on the whole earth and you deserve to have someone much better than me?"

"No that is not true.  Just tell me I am sure we can work through anything."

"I'm pregnant." 

At that moment his body became flush with a rush of adrenaline.  The kind of rush that makes the world go silent.  She had much more to say, but he could not hear her.  It was as if someone had plugged his ears and he could only see her mouth move.  After a few moments of this he could not even focus on her face as his world felt like a spinning merry go round.  Only in this case he could not get off the ride.  He knew she had been with another man.  They agreed to be old fashioned and not have sex until they were married.  And now she was pregnant.  He was snapped back into reality with, "... and that is why I have decided we cannot get married, I am sorry."  He just sat there with a swirl of emotions that cannot be adequately described by words.  He was silent. 

"I am going to go now.  I am so sorry.  I know you will make someone happy someday."

Alone, hurt, devastated, he began to weep.  His weeping turned to bitterness and anger.  He said to himself, "Once again it goes to show you that people are not to be trusted.  How could I have been such a fool.   Never again.  Never again will I let someone hurt me that way."

He spent the next 10 years alone.  He did not mind that much.  He found some companionship with a German Shepard that he rescued from the pound.  Not a day went by though that he did not think about how people had let him down.  His bitterness consumed him.  He was angry and contentious.  No one wanted to be around him and he was OK with that.  He wondered if that was all there was to life.  Let down your guard only to be devastated.  He began to wrestle within himself to find a way out of his mean life.  He tried many things, but to no avail.  Everything seemed meaningless.  He would on occasion remember that year with his girlfriend.  He recalled the good times they had which would make his pain all the more unbearable. 

Then one afternoon at that same coffee shop a young woman walked up to him.  She must have been in her early 20s he guessed.  He was much older than her so he did not see her as a threat.  He talked with her and thought to himself, "She seems so lively and upbeat, clearly she has not experience real life yet."  Then he grew tired of the conversation and spoke in a manner he had many times before to end the conversation.  "Life is only pain, misery, and suffering.  I ought to know I am the most miserable person on the earth."  Usually people would say a few more polite cliches  and then walk away.  He had expected her to do the same.  But she did not.

"What horrible thing must have happened to you to come up with such a hopeless philosophy in life?"

"You would not understand."

"Yeah your probably right, but I would like to hear about it just the same."

He told her the whole story of growing up, falling in love, and being betrayed.  "So you see there is nothing really good in this life."

"You need to surrender" She replied. 

"What?"

"You need to surrender your life."

He thought that this must be some kind of scene out of the twilight zone.  Or some bizarre nightmare that he would wake up from at any minute.  "No offence honey, but that has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard in my life."

"Yeah, I used to think the same as you.  It seemed pretty stupid to me also at first."  She went on to share how she had been horribly abused as a child and how her anger consumed her to the point she contemplated suicide. 

"What changed?"  He asked

"I surrendered." 

"I don't get it."

"I surrendered all my sorrows, anger, desires for revenge, the need to see justice done.  I put them all on the Cross of Jesus Christ." 

"Great" He thought, "She is one of those religious nut jobs."

"I figured that as long as I was holding on to my sorrow, anger, right to justice and revenge I was making my spirit sick.  I had a spiritual sickness that made me bitter and hateful toward the world.  To be honest I was even angry with God." 

He was unsure of what to say.  She had just described him perfectly. 

"Hey even our meeting here today was not an accident.  I was praying that God would give me someone to encourage and then I saw you here and now--  Well God want you to know that he loves you and cares for you.  He is ready to take your burdens once you are willing to surrender them.  He did for me I am sure he could do it for you."

I wonder is there anyone out there that would read this that needs to surrender?  Is there some anger, bitterness, addiction, broken relationship, secret sin, fear, painful memory and so on that needs to be given up.  Maybe holding on to it has made your "spirit sick."  God is there for you.  Not to rescue out of the brokenness, but through it.  Surrender is the strongest thing you can do!

God Bless You

Overcoming

I am still working on a series of posts dealing with anger.  It seems that summer has got the better of me writing.  I hope your summer is going well.  I had a verse come to mind just now about the other day as I was dealing with a stressful situation.  It seemed to me that the devil was working to get me down.  I felt frustrated and hurt.  I wanted to lash out.  Have you ever been in this place?

Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.
Romans 12:21 (HCSB)

In my sermon I suggested that evil was looking for a way to destroy our lives individually, our families, our churches, and our nation.  But we (speaking of Christians) have the Holy Spirit of God within our lives to overcome, to conquer evil.  The trick is to overcome with good.  What is good you ask?

Love must be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. Show family affection to one another with brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lack diligence; be fervent in spirit; serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer. Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Be in agreement with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Try to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.
Romans 12:9-20 (HCSB)

This seems like a good enough list to me.  As always, I've got some work to do. 

God Bless You All!

Meditation: Overcoming Suffering with the Power of God

Passage:
2 Timothy 1:8

Context
Paul encouraging Timothy.

Key Words
Testimony, Lord, suffering, Power of God.

Message
In this life I am invited to suffer for the cause of Christ.  Shame brings a type of suffering, but in this case not one that is in the power of the Lord, but in the power to avoid pain.  It is deceptive though because the pain is not really avoided at all.  It is merely denied.  Have you been ashamed of gospel, others that suffer because of the message, or perhaps at your own suffering.  Search your heart.  The pain is still there with all covering of denial.  Solution?  Embrace suffering, receive the moment from God as a gift.  Sure if it helps your theology you can say, "God does not intend for it to be this way."  Never the less receive the moment of suffering for Christ and trust in the power of God (The Gospel of Jesus Christ). 

Have a Blessed Day

In the Midst of Dark Times

Image by Kurt W. via Flickr

There are times in life that one comes to the edge of what they can know, feel, believe, and understand.  It is a bit like standing on the edge of an abyss.  There is not much peace in that place.  Doubts creep in.  You begin to question everything.  At times you question why you are here.  That is relatively mild compared to the more difficult questioning of your beliefs, your sanity, whether you have been deluded to believe that God exists.  If you have not been in this place then consider yourself lucky.  It is a lonely place.  A painful place.  It is a dark place. 

I presume that Paul was there on at least one occasion.  I base that on his remark:

If we have put our hope in Christ for this life only, we should be pitied more than anyone.
1 Corinthians 15:19 (HCSB)

Most people who have not traveled to the Abyss will quote Pascal's Wager or some version of it.  The gist of Pascal's Wager is that God cannot be found based on reason only by faith .  Therefore it makes sense to believe as if he existed for one has nothing to lose (if God does not exist) and everything to gain (if God does exist).  Pascal's wager stand's in direct contrast with Paul on this point.  The fact is if we trust in Christ for this life only then we should be more pitied than anyone.  Those that would espouse such an argument trade faith for wishful thinking which leads unbelievers to mock Christianity. 

Coming to the edge of the Abyss forces us to the point of questioning and eventual rejecting of things we are unable to reason (knowledge of good and evil becomes our God) or we reach out and find a loving Shepherd longing to love us and guide us (by faith affirming Christ as our Lord).  In one sense the Abyss separates the sheep from the goats (Matthew 25:32, Matthew 13:49).  A goat (one looking like, but lacking authentic Christian faith) will travel to Abyss and upon seeing his dilemma throw his religion into the abyss and walk away believing (faith in reason not in God) he has done something enlightening.  A sheep (on having authentic Christian faith) will come to the Abyss experience the pain, fear, doubt in all its fullness.  Then quietly wait in that place for his Shepherd to come find him and lead him out of that place. 

The 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name's sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff-they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.
Psalms 23:1-6 (HCSB)

These words are foolish to the world.  They are useless to goats.  But to sheep these words are balm to the soul.  These words are comfort in times of pain.  These words are light in the midst of darkness.  These words are assurance in the feeling of loneliness. 

"The Lord is my shepherd."  We choose him when we come to him in faith.  He does reveal Himself to us, but we have a choice to accept or reject Him as our shepherd. 

"There is nothing I lack."  This seems a strange statement when one is standing next to the abyss.  In fact this whole series of pictures is strange next to the Abyss.  There are images of  "green pastures," "quiet waters," "renewed life," "right paths" and standing next to the Abyss you might say, "Perhaps The Good Shepherd has forgotten me.  I seem to have taken a wrong turn somewhere and do not see green pastures, quiet waters, renewed life, nor right paths.  In fact I lack very much.  God where are in the midst of this dark time?"  I believe that David (The one writing the Psalm) is reflecting back on in the past what God has done in his life in Psalm 23:1-3.  Looking back beyond the darkness of his present situation he recalls God's faithful provision of green pastures, quiet waters, renewed life, and right paths.  And now at this moment that reflection is something that can reaffirm your faith. 

"Even when I go through the darkest valley..."  Some translation say, "Valley of death."  When one travels to the deep abyss one can scarcely imagine walking through it.  It is terrifying enough to stand at the edge and look into it.  Yet even when we are near this abyss or traveling through it we can be assured of this:  the Shepherd is with us and desires to comfort us.  With the shepherd nearby we have nothing to fear.  David is describing his current situation in Psalm 23:4.  Looking at the darkness we see only pain and suffering.  Looking at our Savior we have nothing to fear even in the midst of grave danger.  With our eyes fixed on the Shepherd we have nothing to fear of doubts and suffering.  We have nothing to fear at the end of our reasonableness.  We have nothing to fear of our sanity.  We had nothing to fear for our Shepherd is in this place.  He guides us.  If we get to far to the right or the left with a gentle tap from His rod He will get us back on track as we travel this dark time in our lives.  What a comfort His rod and staff are when we have reached the end of ourselves and what we can do on our own.  Traveling to and through the Abyss can be a gut wrenching experience of this there is no doubt.  However, we will have the guidance and presence of God even when all we see is the darkness. 

"You prepare..."  In Psalm 23:5 David again shifts his focus from the present moment (in the dark valley) to the future.  Even our enemies cannot overcome what the Lord has prepared for us.  There is leanness right now in this valley, but then will be a banquet table, anointing oil, and plenty to quench our thirst.  There is abundance in our future when we walk through this with our Lord.  He has prepared it for you.  The image of anointing with oil is a symbol of God's selection of you.  God has chosen you.  He has anointed you for His purpose.  You are especially His!  Some day His anointing, blessing, provision will overflow to you.  His provision waits on the other side for you!

God's "goodness and faithful love" will "pursue" you the days of your life.  Walking to the abyss, walking through the abyss, God's unfailing goodness and love pursue you.  That is quite a statement.  That is boldness that is beyond being reasonable.   The world and the goats will say, "Show me the proof and then perhaps I will walk through that valley with you, but you are foolish to think that such a place reveals God's goodness or love.  Quite the contrary if God was loving and good the valley would not exist."  That is what they will say.  They will not understand.  They cannot understand walking through the valley because they do not have the Shepherd. 

"I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live."  Notice the trip to the abyss did not destroy the faith, but made it stronger (Psalm 23:6).  Note the resolve that this trip produced.  I will dwell...as long as I live.  These are powerful words from a person who has been to and through the Abyss.  There is no room to pretend that God exists and if he does then He will reward you and if he does not then you have lived a good life.  This is utter foolishness. Either you do or you do not choose to dwell in the House of the Lord.  There is not phantom faith.  It either is true faith or it is not faith at all.  The wondrous thing is that once we have made the resolution to trust the Shepherd our weakness will be His strength and He will take care of us no matter how dark it might be. 

Blessings to you!

Intimacy Lost

There are times when a relationship is broken.  It is not that intimacy is lacking, but rather that it has been significantly altered by some painful event.  This is not the same as those that have been hurt by false intimacy (see here for that subject), but that have had intimacy and had it taken by a painful event and/or desire to get it back.  Sometimes one, the other, or both spouses are to blame.  Other times it is some event that happens outside the marriage that is such a significant trauma that intimacy is lost within the marriage.  These are painful times.  Heartache, fear, distrust, disgust, aversion, coldness, loneliness, grief, and other painful emotions are at the forefront during these times of life.  Marriage because of the potential for intimacy  can be the source of great destruction or great healing during these times depending on how the trauma is handled.  It is unlikely that one can be neutral during these times because to do nothing actually make the relationship destructive (albeit in a more passive way).  Perhaps you are at that place now: an affair, traumatic violence,  serious violation of trust, emotional trauma, significant loss in life, really anything that is a traumatic or a loss in life will fit the bill. 

A list of things that I believe are helpful during these times is to understand when it time to go "FORTH" are Forgiveness, Openness, Respect, Trust, and Healing.  These five concepts are interrelated, but is they also are different.  It is important if you are to restore intimacy to understand the similarity and differences between these five relationship concepts. 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the quality of releasing the other person from condemnation for his or her offence.  Condemnation is the act of declaring guilty and holding a person accountable to the fullest extent possible.  Condemnation has no room for grace or circumstances.  To release condemnation is to forgive.  What that means individually is that a person releases his or her personal right (real or perceived) to demand retribution.  Individual forgiveness is different than pardon.  Pardon is given by society or some society representative.  For example a person might forgive a person that assaulted them, but that does not mean they are pardoned for the crime.  Forgiveness also is unique from openness, respect, trust and healing.  A person can forgive and not have the other four.  This is important because recognizing forgiveness as different will avoid you falling into the trap of believing that you have not forgiven or believing that your spouse has not forgiven because they do not trust. 

Openness

One of the casualties in traumatic events is often openness.  It is based somewhat in trust.  However it is different from trust.  Openness is both a measure of the level of trust in a relationship and the mechanism for rebuilding trust in a relationship.   Openness is being accountable, vulnerable, sincere, forthright, and clear.  It is avoiding secretiveness.   It also has a quality of gentle honesty.  I distinguish that from brutal honesty.  Brutal honesty is not openness, but rather is an attack usually meant to punish the other person for bringing the subject up.  Gentle honesty is being transparent while being fully aware of how what your are saying may affect the person that you are talking with.  It is focused more on how you say things over what you are say.  At times there is a tension that exists in that what you have to say may be unpleasant.  Gentle honesty does not hide the unpleasant, but thinks long and hard about timing, manner, and intent of sharing unpleasant information. 

Respect

Respect is another casualty of traumatic events.  This is especially true when the root cause of the trauma lies within the behavior of the other spouse (having an affair for example).  You might wonder about how to respect someone who has done something dishonorable.  I would agree that this is a difficult thing.  However if your goal is to restore emotional intimacy then disrespect will not bring that about and will in fact have the opposite effect on the relationship.  Disrespect is fuel to defensiveness and distrust.  There are times when respect (or disrespect) is learned from previous relationships and displayed in the marriage relationship.  For example if you grow up in a family that does not respect the feelings of others then you will have a greater likelihood that you will have a lack of respect for your spouses feelings and not even be aware that you are doing that.  The substance of respect is positive regard (treating with kindness), courteousness, sensitivity to feelings of the other, endure, give benefit of doubt, value opinion of, and giving of esteem when something good is done. 

Trust

I have said in a previous post that trust is vital element in emotional intimacy.  Not wanting to repeat myself here let me just contrast trust and forgiveness.  Trust is the ability to be vulnerable and entrust your life and emotions with a person that you love.  Forgiveness is a release from the right to retaliate.  They certainly do overlap, but they are different and are on different schedules.  Most of the time when spouses say "You don't forgive me" it is not true.  The fact he or she is willing to show up in counseling is evidence of forgiveness in my estimation.  Unforgiving people do not seek out reconciliation or a way to make the relationship better.  What would be more accurate to say is, "I desire for you to trust me."  In this way the responsibility is shared.  The person who has broken the trust has the obligation to demonstrate trustworthiness and the person who has been offended has to reach a point where they can be vulnerable again.  This is not the same a forgiveness and will take time as the couple grows in trustworthiness and vulnerability.

Healing

I like to use a serious break in the leg as an analogy for healing.  The recovery from a serious complicated break can be relatively short to a extensive.  It depends on many factors (type of break, whether surgery is needed, bone health, activity level before and after the break, etc).  Even when a break is healed there may be times that in cold weather or if you step just in a certain way that you will have a painful reminder of the break.  Stated another way there is never a complete healing 100%.  Recovery is lifelong to a certain extent. 
In the same way psychological trauma is never 100% healed.  I raise this issue because I want to contrast it with the issue of forgiveness.  A person will experience painful emotions for a long time after a trauma or serious loss.  However, painful emotions is in no way indicative of a lack of forgiveness.  The painful emotions are there because you are human and are still in a process of healing and recovery.  There should never be guilt over painful emotions either in the form of guilt trip (by the other) or by self reproach (why can I just get over it).  Healing takes time and will often be the last to occur in this list of five things (sometimes life long). 
That being said emotional intimacy can be forged in the process of healing.  If the person that is supporting recovery of the other becomes an agent of healing then they form of bond with that person that is extremely strong, even when the person is at fault for the trauma in the first place.  The key to healing painful emotions is to avoid the guilt trap.  Guilt turns painful emotions into suffering.  You have to accept the feelings of pain whether you are the person experiencing them or if you are the person wanting to support.  Together healing will bring the emotional intimacy that you long for.  The difficulty is that it takes time and progress is measured by months if not years depending on the type of trauma.  End the end it is worth it if you are willing and your spouse is the person that is willing to take the journey with you. 

If this describes your relationship I pray that you will seek and receive the healing you are looking for.  If you are the support person then I pray that you will be come the agent of healing for your spouse for better or for worse.  God bless you.  If this does not describe you consider supporting another couple that is going through a hard time as a support toward healing and reconciliation. 
 

Worry

This is why I tell you: Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food and the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25 (HCSB)

I have touched on the subject of worry in a previous post.  In this post I hope to expand on this previous thought to look at how focusing on the future can be unmindful especially when worry is involved!

There is a concept in psychology that is based on the observation that people that suffer from anxious diseases struggle with an over focus on the (negative) past or the future.  The concept is that if you can help a person escape this kind of thinking that they will resolve their anxiety.   This concept is seen in nearly all theories of psychology, though they are addressed in different ways (i.e. answering existential questions, reason and logic, focus on relationship, ways of distraction, focus on sensation over thinking, mindfulness, and so on). 

For the Christian this concept is not the same as being oblivious to the past or the future, but rather it is being spiritual, powerful, destroying strongholds, disciplined, and bringing these thoughts under the Lordship of Christ. 

For though we live in the body, we do not wage war in an unspiritual way, since the weapons of our warfare are not worldly, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (HCSB)

Clearly Jesus is commanding us in Matthew to not worry!  If we are to then to look at that command in light of "taking every thought captive to obey Christ" then it is imperative that our worry thoughts be brought under Christ's authority!  It is this anxiousness for the future that prevents us from unreservedly giving ourselves to God.  "I would Lord, but..."  Our Lord was very intolerant of that attitude as well saying, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God (Luke 9:62)."   The reality is that if we do not get this issue in hand then we are never going to give ourselves to the work of God, nor are we fit for the kingdom. 

Before proceeding to the solution I would like to demonstrate how the issue of anxiety is connected to the study of soul (i.e. psychology).  There are some very well meaning Christians that fear the discipline of psychology as being godless.  To a certain extent this criticism is deserving.  Psychologist tend to be more atheistic than just about any other profession.  In the recent history religious and spiritual affections were defined as pathological by psychologists.  However, I believe the study of soul has a legitimate place in the Christian faith.  We must be on guard and discerning about mixing truth with error to be be sure, but that does not mean that all psychology is error. 

The connection to the Christian faith is the word soul itself.  In the Greek psyche is the same root word that psychology is derived from.  The word psyche appears about 90 times in the New Testament.  The Hebrew equivalent nepesh occurs about 700 times in the Old Testament.  Another Greek word that has an affinity with the discipline of psychology is nous (mind).  Nous (also noeo and noema) is preferred by Paul in his writings.  I could go on with concepts like insight and understanding that are both Biblical and psychological but I think you get my point.  The reality is if God had intended that we not have a study of soul then he would not have spent so much time addressing it in His Word.  In fact soul is mentioned about the same amount of times as love in the Bible.  To me that would make soul an important subject. 

How does that relate to the issue of anxiety?  Jesus connected it:

This is why I tell you: Don't worry about your life (psyche), what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't life (psyche) more than food and the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25 (HCSB)

Paul also connects it:

...taking every thought (noema) captive to obey Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5 (HCSB)

And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought (nous), will guard your hearts and minds (noema) in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7 (HCSB)

...be transformed by the renewing of your mind (nous)...
Romans 12:2 (HCSB)

When this is understood and not feared one begins to realize that the Bible is rich with psychological truths.  For example Romans 7:13-25 is one of the best descriptions of pathology and addictions in a religious context that can be found (IMO).

What then is the solution to worry from this perspective?  

1. Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven
2. Seek His Righteousness
3. Develop a healthy perspective of things (possessions)
4. Store treasure in Heaven
5. Look on good things
6. Set God as your master (even over your thoughts)
7. Consider God's creation (Peaceful walks through nature tend to give perspective)
8. Focus on the present (not worry about tomorrow)
9. Present self as a sacrifice to God
10. Refused to be conformed to age (pattern of culture?)
11. Be transformed (made new in glory) in your mind
12. Discern God's good, perfect, and pleasing will

This list has many avenues to explore possibly in future posts.  There also is much more than this list as well.  However, it is item number eight that led me to write on this topic.  Jesus says, "...don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34)."  When we worry about tomorrow's troubles we loose our effectiveness in today.   When you notice that you mind is drawn to the worries of tomorrow it is time to put the breaks on and recognize who really is on the throne of your life.  It is the mindfulness of God and His provision that quiets the worried soul.  It is the resolve to give yourself to God in spite of the apparent difficulties or the unknown difficulties that may arise that give you strength.  In this way faith in God becomes the weapon to destroy the stronghold of worry in your life. 

The celebrations of God's will for you in the present moment is a cure for ineffective and unproductive worry about the future!

God Bless You All

Just a little further

I was in prayer a few weeks ago thanking the Lord for the blessings in my life.  I had been fighting with God and not aware of what he was doing in my life.  During this prayer there was a distinct communication of His Spirit to my spirit, "Are you ready to take it to the next level?"  In prayer I answered "Yes Lord." 

God started that week by showing me some things through my counseling clients.  I cannot go into detail because of their confidentiality, but I can say that God was revealing, "here are the hurting people that I want to heal."  Notice not not the people I want "you" to heal, but the people God wants to heal!  I must admit it is a wonderfully rewarding feeling to see someone recover from what life has thrown his/her way, but can I really take credit for that?  Not really. As Christians we are reflections of the light of God.  We are workers in the field of life, but the glory is the Lord's.

"You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16 (HCSB)

Unreservedly giving yourself to God is this; I choose to let my light shine for myself, no!  I will forgo the praise that men will place on me.  I will work even when no praise is coming my way, for my master.  In the public I will work diligently, with endurance, with greater grace than I can muster within my own spirit, but with graces and mercies that God's Holy Spirit gives me.  To what end you ask?  Not that others might give glory to me (you are such a good person), but rather that they will give glory to my Father in heaven (Praise to God in the highest). 

But then there is the "higher level." 

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways." This is the Lord's declaration. "For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9 (HCSB)

Giving yourself to God is quite easy and natural when we are basing our decision on His loving-kindness, grace, and mercy.  Ironically we are very comfortable with the sacrifice of our savor, but not with the sacrifice of self.

Other seed fell on rocky ground where it didn't have much soil, and it sprang up right away, since it didn't have deep soil. When the sun came up, it was scorched, and since it didn't have a root, it withered...

...And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: when they hear the word, immediately they receive it with joy. But they have no root in themselves; they are short-lived. When pressure or persecution comes because of the word, they immediately stumble.
Mark 4:5-6; 16-17 (HCSB)

This happened to me over the last couple of weeks.  I will not go into detail, but suffice it to say the pressure and persecution were on.  At one point it was more within than outside.  I recall praying, "Lord I am quite comfortable as your apologist, but this thing You are showing me in Your Word, I have a hard time accepting.   To be honest until yesterday morning I had not yet accepted it!  Now the writer's block comes together (only 5 posts in the last 3 weeks, compared to 15 the three weeks before that).

Let me ask you, Is God showing you something that you have a hard time accepting?  Is it easy to receive the graces of God with great joy, but the trials, temptations, sorrowful moments, the ugliness of life, causes you to stumble?  You can either continue to have a God of the good times while you remain lord of the low times or you can unreservedly give yourself to God.  Will you commit to follow Christ for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.  Will you marry yourself To God's plan and purpose for your life and the Blessings along with the longings.  If you do then that is unreservedly giving yourself to God!

I have decided to follow Jesus;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
No turning back, no turning back.

God Bless You All

Receiving the Moment (even when it does not make sense)

This post is dealing with one of the most difficult aspects of contentment.  There are times in life that we are presented with seemingly contradictory information when looking at intrinsic truth and experiential truth.  Intrinsic truth are things that are true in themselves.  that is to say they are based in some value or moral that is contained within the truth itself.  Some examples of intrinsic truth is God, ethics, morality, and goodness.  On the other hand experiential truth is based on what can be observed, described, measured, tested, and/or experienced.  Some examples of experiential truths are empirical knowledge, heuristics (rules of thumb),  constructs,  and Common sense.  Unfortunately there are times when these two classes of truth present a dilemma in our lives when they appear contradictory.  If I have lost you that is OK I will attempt to give an example from the Bible that should clear up what I am saying.

"Take your son," He said, "your only [son] Isaac, whom you love, go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."  Gen 22:2 (HCSB)

This is quite possibly one of the most bizarre commands of God recorded in the Bible.  We tend to overlook it when we read it because we know the end of the story.  Abraham did not know the end!  In fact if we have never read the story before we are only held in this uncomfortable state for as long as it takes to read 10 verses (It took me 42 seconds to read the whole story).  Abraham on the other hand wrestled with this command for 3 days (Side note:  for those interested in symbolic numbers Jesus was in the grave for 3 days) .  By the way my interest in this dilemma was influenced by S�ren Kierkegaard's book "Fear and Trembling."   

I am not being irreverent when I say it is a bizarre command.  I am basing my opinion on experiential truth.  And my guess is that you would draw the same conclusion as well as well.  Considering it empirically (ie science of mind/brain) a man that hears the voice of God tell him to sacrifice his son is by definition psychotic.  In this case the command hallucination would be considered a bizarre hallucination.  Considering the rule of thumb it would be unwise to hang out with a person that would kill his son to please a deity.  God in my understanding loathes child sacrifice.  So hearing a command from him stating otherwise does not fit within my construct of who God is.  Therefore the command is absurd.  Common sense would say "God would not want you to do that!"  I am guessing the Sarah had it in this couple which is why he probably did not share what he was doing with with her.  Truly the command is beyond experiential truth and reason.  That makes the command bizarre.

'We must never tolerate an instant's unbelief as to the goodness of the Lord; whatever else may be questioned, this is absolutely certain, that Jehovah is good; His dispensations may vary, but His nature is always the same' (C. H. Spurgeon).

Intrinsic truth on the other hand indicates that God knows what he is doing (Omniscient).  What He does is good.  He can do and accomplish whatever he wants (Omnipotent).  Often times it is pointed out that God Abraham was trusting in the promise of:

I will establish My covenant between Me and you, and I will multiply you greatly. Gen 17:2 (HCSB)

Your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will name him Isaac. I will confirm My covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his future offspring. Gen 17:19 (HCSB)

This is usually based on:

By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac. He received the promises and he was offering his unique son,  the one it had been said about, Your seed will be traced through Isaac.  He considered God to be able even to raise someone from the dead, and as an illustration, he received him back. Heb 11:17-19 (HCSB)

This fine for us who only have to be discomforted for the minute or so that we are uncomfortable while we read the story, but we did not walk in Abraham's shoes for those three days.  He is a hero of faith to be sure, but there is no way that anyone could walk in his shoes and feel heroic going through to do what he was going to do!

It is then reasonable to conclude that Abraham struggled with this very dilemma that I have put forward.  It is not possible in my estimation that a person of commendable reputation and character could be resigned to carry out such a task without this struggle.  If I were him I would have said something like, "My experiential knowledge is in conflict with my knowledge of God!"  I think if we are honest there are times (though not to this degree) that we to enter into a similar dilemma.  The dilemma usually starts with the word "why" and questions why God does or does not do something (usually the latter). 

This is a long introduction to my main point which is, We can only be content when we receive the moment exactly as God has given it to us.  I have already talked about how fighting reality in relationships is unmindful and invites suffering.  We can do the same in our circumstances.  Spiritually speaking when we choose our experiential knowledge over the knowledge of God we invite spiritual suffering.  This dissonance is no more greater than when our circumstances seem to contradict what we know about God.  At that moment we have a Crisis of Faith.  The difficulty with this crisis is that it gets to the root of whether we trust in God.  Do we accept what we have been given with the faith that God will work it out for His Glory and our good?

Abraham is a hero of faith because he chose the absurd and bizarre to be obedient that he might glorify God.  Frankly there are not many people like that in this world, but when it is put into context our minor discomforts seem trivial compared to what Abraham had to go through on those three days.  If we accept Abraham as a hero of faith then we ought to at least model his behavior in our own circumstances even when God does not make sense. 

So what did he do?  First he was listening.  Second, He received the instruction and the moment without objection or fighting.  There are times when we have to do just this.  We have to accept even though it does not make sense.  Third he put his faith into preparations.  It is quite easy to say that you believe something, but it is quite another to act on that belief.  Your actions are evidence of what you believe.  Don't get me wrong, it is easy thing to fall into doubt, but prolonged doubt is the catalyst of spiritual suffering. 

Fourth he moved forward without a clear picture of how God was going to work this out, only with the knowledge that he would.  This part strains the very core of our being.  Humans like to see the end before setting out on a journey.  Unfortunately if we are able to see the end in our mind and like the outcome, then choosing it is nor more faith than picking your favorite meal off a menu.  "I think I will take the Spaghetti Marinara."  Accepting God's will and taking the next step requires great faith when the outcome is unknown especially when the circumstances make it look hopeless. 

Fifth he placed his trust in the Lord's provision.  God is faithful.  Finally he endured great pain.  I think of sheer agony of binding his son in order to offer him up to God.  I would have been an emotional wreck.  Just thinking about it right now brings tears to my eyes and I was not there! 

Enduring pain and agony is the stuff that heroes are made of. I do not aspire to be a hero.  Most heroes don't either.  They are thrust into this role by their circumstances.  They become heroes because they are willing to enter into the absurdity of their circumstances and act in faith without the possibility of knowing if it will turn out good or bad, yet acting anyway! This is at its core is the greatest example of "recieving the moment" that I can think of.  In our own lives we fail to receive the moment when we 1) reject the reality of the situation, 2) fail to act, 3) fail to trust God, 4) try to find some way of escape.

In summary then we have to willing to "receive the moment" as it is.  This is done without fighting, yet not being resigned as a victim of fate.  But rather with great trust in this: 

Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him. Heb 11:6 (HCSB)

And this:

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (HCSB)

With this kind of faith we can move through what ever circumstances this life might give us.  My hope is that when the trial comes my way that I would be found worthy of such honor and put my whole trust in God that He might see me through.

God bless you all!

Personal Note

I took a few more days off this week to do some self-awareness and discovered that what I was missing was awareness of God.  It seems that I was doing some fighting again rather than trusting God.  God has been so good to me.  Every time I have a need He has provided in some manner.  At times I get caught up in my circumstances get my eyes off of Him and thereby increase my suffering.  Why is it that we humans have such a natural affinity to blame God when things are not going the way we want?  Worse why do we question Him when He has proved Himself over and over? 

There was a few of areas of my life that I have been lacking mindfulness in the last couple of months.  I was in a mental fog in regard to these.  In the last couple of days God has answered my questioning prayer (Thank you God for being so gracious to my presumptuousness).  In one of those prayers I was so bold as to say "I am doing what you called me to do, Why are you not taking care of me and my family!"  As I type those words I am a bit ashamed to admit I prayed them now. 

There are times when we put our head in the sand when there is something that we do not want to deal with.  In a previous post I talked about the types of mindlessness.  I think I can now add another that I just realized,  intentional mindlessness.  Sometimes we willfully avoid something that we do not want to look at.  It can take the form of escapism, simple mindmindlessness, busyness, egoism, but at its core is a willful avoidance of something that is painful to think about.  I discovered this week that if you do this long enough then you can turn it into a lack of awareness of what God is really doing in your life. 

When I took my head out of the sand and looked at the reality of the situation,  within the next 24 hours He showed me that my perception was way off.  He showed me that not only had he taken care of me, but he also had done more than I had expected.  God had been working amazingly and instead of praising Him I was questioning Him!  Lord forgive me I do praise You for your mighty work in my life.  With this new awareness I was able to more effectively deal with the problem.  I realize that one of the biggest factors was my intentional mindlessness.  If I had paid better attention the problem of perception as well as the actual problems it caused in my life could have been avoided.

Have a Blessed Weekend!

It Is Well With My Soul

Deep happiness is in the spirit, not the body or even the feelings. It is like an anchor that holds fast and calm on the bottom even while storms rage on the surface. God allows physical and emotional storms to strengthen the anchor; fires to test and harden our mettle. Our souls must become bright, hard, sharp swords. That is our destiny and His design. We are not toys; we are swords. And that requires tempering in the fire. The sword of the self is to sing in the sun eternally, like the seraphim. If we could catch even a glimpse of this heavenly destiny, if we understood why we are destined to judge angels (1 Cor. 6:3), we would not see a problem in the sufferings of Job. Teresa of Avila said that the most miserable earthly life, seen from the perspective of heaven, looks like one night in an inconvenient hotel. -Handbook of Christian Apologetics

When I started Posting on the subject of Christian Mindfulness I thought it would be a couple of posts to explain and a few posts giving practical examples.  Well that was 16 posts ago and after some reassessing I figure I am about halfway done.  As I have been going through this I have been thinking that this subject might make a good book.  Anyway today I am moving to another subject related to Christian mindfulness, The Peace of God.

The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:7 (NKJV)

This verse seems to be a favorite for those that are going through hard times.  I think back over my life and I recall times when the Peace of God came over me during a particularly difficult time.  When we can let go of suffering and come to the "peace of God" then we have entered into Christian Mindfulness.  The passage in Philippians 4:4-9 offers some practical help in how to get to that place of peacefulness beyond what the natural mind can understand.  When we come under the watchful care of our loving Savior Christ Jesus

Rejoice in the Lord

Rejoicing in the Lord in the good times is quite easy and natural.  Rejoicing in the Lord through the hard times is difficult to the extreme and only seems to happen supernaturally.  This is very much related to my post on Completed Joy.  Turn your heart toward God and put your full weight into His loving arms.  Trust in the fullness of God to meet your every need.  God may use others to bring His fullness to you, but do not trust in the fullness of others to get you through the valley.  Only God will do if we are to enter the Peace of God. 

Stop Fighting (be lenient)

Fighting reality is the surest way to increase suffering.  Apparently the word epieikes is a hard word to translate from Greek to English.  The words used in various translations are graciousness, forbearance,  moderation,  gentle spirit, gentle behavior, reasonableness, gentleness, considerate, forbearing spirit, and lenience.   Here is an excellent word study I found. 

When we hold on to what is fair and just in our own mind we are not exhibiting epieikes.  Fighting reality is only amplified when reality is a person who has hurt you, maligned you, spoke evil against you, disregarded you, abandoned you, neglected you, gossiped about you (feeling angry yet).  The interesting thing is that when you hold onto your right of retribution you lose the Peace of God.  What do you trade it for?  Sleepless nights, fear of quarrel, further hurt, escalating anger, guilt, and extended suffering.  Philippians 4:5 makes it clear that the path to peace is through releasing your rights and choosing to be at peace with that person. 

In this one word we find the missing element in broken relationships, split families, unsatisfying marriages, sibling rivalry, dysfunctional workplaces, and unresolved pain caused by others.  The truth is if I could bottle up the elixir this word contains and give it to those that come to me for counsel I could resolve nearly all of their life's suffering.

So I box-but not as if I were just shadow boxing. 1 Cor 9:26 (GW)

I have a friend that I often quip "stop shadow boxing."  It is my cue to him when he is fighting against reality rather than allowing God to move through his situation.  Not to long ago I was talking to him on the phone and he said, "BJ there was a person that told me a while back to stop shadow boxing."  It was the exact word that I needed to lift me out of suffering.  I am thankful for friends that can be honest even when it does not feel good.  Living a life without epieikes is shadow boxing with reality. 

The Lord is Near

I think that sums it up.

Don't Worry

If epieikes kills the peace with others then worry kills the peace within.  Matthew 6:25-34 is the most important passage in the Bible on the topic of worry (in my opinion).  We worry about so many things, but Christian mindfulness teaches us that one thing is needed, to seek God and His kingdom.  Even in Philippians 4:6 says "Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."  Everything we do should be brought before the Lord in prayer, petition, and thanksgiving.  This seeking after God is the cure for anxiety.  Even when our prayers are not answered in the manner that we expect we can trust in His goodness to provide exactly what we need even to guide us through dark times. 

Focus on the Good things in Life

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable-if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise-dwell on these things. Phil 4:8 (HCSB)

I could write a post just on this verse alone.  But the short of it is that by putting your mind on the good things in life you leave no room to be mindful of suffering.  By being mindful of suffering you can literally think yourself into misery and depression.  You want to be mindful of the honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, morally excellent, and praiseworthy things in life. 

Obey

Paul says, "Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. (Phil 4:9)"  Has God shown you something that you have yet to do?  Have you received a message through the Bible, sermon, Bible study, a fellow believer in Christ that you have yet to put into action?  Paul says do it.  When we put our faith into action it is evidence that we trust God.  When we fail to put our faith into action it is evidence that either we are unwilling to obey or that we do not trust Him.  Either way it takes us away from the peace of God. 

In summary then rejoicing in the Lord, being lenient with others, stopping our worry, seeking God, focusing on the good things in life, and obeying the Lord is the pathway to Mindful peace of God.  Now that I have given you the path it is up to you to practice it.  If it seems difficult it is, but with God all things are possible.  God Bless You All!

The Problem of Perfection (Unmindful Perfection Contrasted with Mindful Wholeness)

Most of the time when we think of the word perfection we tend to mean without defect or blemish.  Jesus said, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect (Matt 5:48)."  We then are instantly confronted with the unreality of the statement be without defect or blemish as God is without defect or blemish.  When we examine our own lives moment by moment we reach a honest conclusion that we are not perfect (without defect or blemish).  This creates a problem with Christian mindfulness because you are either attempting to be something that you are not (nor can you be) or you are ignoring a very clear statement from Jesus.  Neither seem appealing, however I believe there are a great many Christians that live their lives in this tension. 

The problem lies not in the words of Christ nor in the impossibility of perfection.  The problem lies in our understanding of perfection.  Perfect had an original meaning of maturity or moral purity.  I need the source for this, but I read once that the word perfection changed as a result of the industrial revolution.  For example before the industrial revolution a perfect chair was one having four legs, aesthetically pleasing, and work of a craftsman.  After the industrial revolution a perfect chair was one that met particular specifications (without defect or blemish) and was exactly like the hundred that just came off the assembly line. 

An alternate meaning of perfect is complete (or whole).  In this passage the Greek word is teleios.  This word means to be complete in the thing it is referencing (age , growth, character). 

He (Jesus) personally gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, for the training of the saints in the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God's Son, [growing] into mature man with a stature measured by Christ's fullness. Eph 4:11-13 (HCSB)

Note the last part "mature (teleios) man... ...Christ's fullness"  This is where wholeness and filling come together.  What is it that makes us whole (teleios)?  Is it not the filling that comes from Christ?  You see Christ's statement to "Be perfect" is not so much as to be without defect as it is to be filled with God's Holy Spirit.  In the context of the passage then Loving is perfected in you when you can love those that you dislike the most (enemies).  Not that loving your enemies makes you without defect, but rather loving your enemies (and everyone else for that matter) makes you whole as God is whole.  Why?  Because of the fullness of Christ according to Ephsians 4:23. 

In short stop striving to be without defect or blemish (ie striving to be like other homogonous fashionable happy Christians) and embrace the fullness of Christ.  Then you will be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect.  This will be the genuine you (That God designed).  This will be "Christian Mindfulness."

God Bless You

Mindfulness in Action

Little children, we must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.  1 John 3:18 (HCSB)

Awareness of others will lead to mindfulness in action as the Holy Spirit makes us aware of others needs.  I believe that in Christian fellowship and relationship God desires that we focus on our own character (awareness of self) and others needs (awareness of others). 

In order to meet the needs of others it requires that we become aware of those needs.  We have to look and see what the needs are.  This also requires a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit will prompt you to others' needs that you might otherwise not be aware of.  This type of awareness requires a high level of responsibility though.  We cannot "love in word or speech," we must love "in truth and action." 

There are three important elements of effective action.  First actions have to based in sincerity, purity and grace.  Second, the primary motivation for our action is love.  Finally, fulfilling God's purpose in our life will lead to effectiveness. 

Sincerity, Purity, and Grace

For this is our confidence: The testimony of our conscience is that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially toward you, with God-given sincerity and purity, not by fleshly wisdom but by God's grace.  2 Cor 1:12 (HCSB)

In the DBT literature "Wisemind" is the integration of emotional experience and logical analysis to develop "intuitive knowing."  The goal of wisemind is to achieve a balance of feeling and reasoning to achieve this wisemind state.  Wisemind is often experienced in the as a sensation in the gut.  Wisemind is not Christian mindfulness.  Wisemind is inward "fleshly wisdom."  This can be dangerous for the Christian because "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh (Romans 7:18)."  Wisemind can (for the Christian) lead them away from "God's Grace"  I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with intuition or gut reactions.  The Bible has many examples of these type of experiences.  What I am saying is that relying on these reactions of "intuitive knowing" can lead to serious error and must be subjected to God and His Holy Spirit.

So what is Christian mindfulness in this respect then?  First it lies within our conscience.  God has given all humanity a moral sense that is called conscience.  When your conscience is filled with God-given sincerity, purity, and grace then it is a reliable source of intuitive knowing.  Note the source though.  It is God given.  It is His gift.  In Eastern mindfulness the source is within in a person, in Christian mindfulness the source is God. 

Sincerity is the singleness of purpose.  In this case the best interest of others.  We often do not mind engaging in seemingly altruistic behavior as long as there is a benefit for us.  This is a dual purpose and does not have a singleness of purpose that is captured by sincerity.  At its root effective action for the Christian is acting without regard for any ulterior motive.  This can be hard to do but it is essential for effective action.

Purity is similar.  It is acting genuinely.  Your motives and interests are apparent clearly understood by others.  There is no hidden agenda that you have.  You are acting above board.  This effective action allows you to put energy into the action over trying to keep your true interests and self hidden. 

Grace involves invoking God's favor for you and then turning His grace into your relationships with others.  You become a vessel or channel through which God's grace flowing to you, though you, into the lives of others.  God's grace is effective.  If you want to have effective action in your life then you have to allow His Grace to flow through your actions. 

Motivated by Love

Righteous Father! The world has not known You. However, I have known You, and these have known that You sent Me.  I made Your name known to them and will make it known, so the love You have loved Me with may be in them and I may be in them.  John 17:25-26 (HCSB)

There is enough material on the subject of love in the Bible to blog on the rest of my life.  Suffice it to say love is a very important subject.  Effective action is motivated by love.  1 Corinthians 13 has been called the love chapter.  I encourage you to look at the whole passage (Here is a blog on the subject).  I want to zero in on verse 7 as this verse to me gives the fuel to effective action.

[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Cor 13:7 (HCSB)

When we bear all things it requires in my estimation that we receive it from God.  That is not to say that God is the author of our suffering (remember Job), but that He is the Redeemer of our suffering.  God can take any event in our life good or bad and turn it into a blessing.  Do you believe that?  In this case effective action bears others in love.  Even when our flesh tells us to take revenge or to give up.  Notice the difference between what we tend to do (I put up with them) and what this verse says (I carry them). 

Believing all things is not the same as being blissfully ignorant.  It is an attitude that holds others in positive regard and sees their expressed thoughts, feelings, and beliefs as honest and reasonable representation of their true thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.  There is something that is incredibly validating when someone believes not just in your words, but in you as a person.  When a person can look at your shortcomings and still hold you up as worthy of their love, that is believing all things. 

Hope.  Without hope effective action becomes meaningless.  Hope brings meaning and purpose to our lives and to our action. 

Endurance of both things that are happening to you as well as completing the task before you are needed for effective action.  Endurance requires a certain degree of flexibility.  Without flexibility things break (ie they do not endure under the pressure). 

Fulfilling God's Purpose

Carry one another's burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  Gal 6:2 (HCSB)

It is no accident that fulfilling the law of Christ is closely aligned with love.  Christ died for sinful humanity that he might bear our sin and remove our guilt.  We ought to die to self that we might bear another's burden and gently restore him/her to God.  This is "Christian" effectiveness.  It is easy to contrast with the opposite attitude which is unhelpful, harsh, punitive, judgment.  Generally speaking this sort of attitude pushes people away and does not lead them to repentance.  That is to say it is ineffective. 

 

There is much more I could write about effective action, but this post is long enough as it is.  So perhaps the Lord will allow me to come back to this subject in the near future.  God Bless you all.  I believe that you can be effective in what you do informed by God's word, empowered by His Spirit.