There is an children’s hymn “Be Careful Little Eyes,
What You See.” You can listen to the song here: https://youtu.be/pqFrXwpTI-w
This song has one verse in particular that relates to what I want
to share with you:
Oh, be careful, little tongue, what you say, Oh, be
careful, little tongue, what you say. There’s a Father up above looking down in
tender love, Oh, be careful, little tongue, what you say.
So often we are careless with our words. This can lead to
all kinds of problems. Often careless words are destructive. The Bible says in James 3:6
“And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed
among our members. It stains the whole body, sets the course of life on fire,
and is itself set on fire by hell.” When we mindlessly say things without
thought of the fire storm, we are starting we can do more harm than good.
Ephesians 5:4 has three types of speaking that are
particularly problematic. They are obscenities, foolish talk, and course
jesting.
Obscenities are words that are on offensive to Godly
morality. This category of often sexualized speech limits what is acceptable to
talk about as Christians. Some examples would be sexual humor or talk,
scatological talk, vulgar words, stories inciting lust, lewd language, and
morally debased speech.
The list of obscenities for the Christian is likely longer
than that of the world around us. In fact, under the banner of free speech
there is a gradual diminishing of what is considered obscene. This is
accelerated by our media and technology. It has become common place in modern
interactions. We have become desensitized to the shock of obscene language that
it has become everyday vocabulary for many people. This type of language often
replaces ordinary and plain words as the filthy language becomes the nouns,
verbs, adjectives, and adverbs of everyday life.
Just a note before moving on. Talking about sex and
sexuality in the context of how the Bible treats the subject is not considered
obscene. For example, Song of Solomon is a book of the Bible filled with
passionate and sexual imagery. We must be careful not to go to the other
extreme and make all talk about our sexuality seem obscene. There is a time and
a place for healthy conversations about sex.
Foolish talk is related to dull and stupid conversations
that do not lead to edification of anyone.
In my life and work I have had times where I attempted to
carry on a conversation with someone who was intoxicated. These are unfruitful
and pointless.
Worse still I have had unfruitful and pointless conversations
while the participants were sober. It is these conversations that “foolish
talk” covers. Paul describes the issue in his two letters in 2 Timothy
2:23 “But reject foolish and ignorant disputes, because you know that they
breed quarrels.” and in Titus 3:9 “But avoid foolish debates, genealogies,
quarrels, and disputes about the law, because they are unprofitable and
worthless.”
It is so easy to fall into these types of conversations.
They are typical on social media. I must admit I have been guilty of being
drawn into these types of conversations both in response to some foolish
comment and also making the foolish comment. For me the urge to engage is
strong so I must be vigilant to discipline my speech and avoid prolonged and
unprofitable dialogues.
For me personally I have a few weak spots when it comes to
foolish talk. 1) If someone asks me a question, but really is baiting me for a
debate. 2) If someone calls into question my intelligence, integrity, or
morality. 3) If someone says something (intentionally or naively) that I know
for a fact is not true. Knowing this then I must really put the brakes on and ask,
“Is this one of those foolish talk moments?”
I used to think that “coarse jesting” was sexual humor. This
sexual humor would certainly be covered by obscenity. As I dug into the
original Greek language though I realized that the word had a much broader
application. This word is only used once in the Bible which makes it difficult
to an original language study. I did find that Aristotle listed this as a
virtue. It is also interesting that Tomas Aquinas favored a more generous view
of this word.
So, what exactly is this word those philosophers see as
virtue yet Paul in his letter to the Ephesians considers it a vice?
εὐτραπελία (eutrapelia) is the Greek word we are talking
about here. This word relates to being quick witted. This ability to respond
with cutting humor is a highly effective rhetorical skill. This ability can
make pure appeals to emotion seem very rational. I believe that the
effectiveness as a rhetorical device and it’s passive aggressive in contrast to
overt aggression is the virtue that Philosophers see as a virtue. However, Paul
sees it as a vice in that it is not an appeal to truth but to emotion. This
type of jesting is often used in disagreements.
In his sermon Isaac Burrow says it this way:
In fine (conclusion), no jesting is allowable which is
not thoroughly innocent: it is an unworthy perverting of wit to employ it in
biting and scratching; in working prejudice to any man's reputation or
interest; in needlessly incensing any man's anger or sorrow; in raising
animosities, dissensions, and feuds among any.
The whole sermon is worthy of a read even though it is old
English and can be found here: Against
Foolish Talking and Jesting.
This biting humor has become the staple of modern political
and religious criticism. People who do it well are seen as heroic by their
supporters. Most of what passes as political commentary is more about making
the other side look foolish.
When it comes to religious matters though this same abusive
and provoking humor has increasingly become part of the dialog. Even too many
it has become a heroic trait of people they admire.
In times past this type of humor was relegated to obscure
chat boards and tedious comment sections. However, our appetite for this type
of humor has brought this type of joking to the front and center of our
consumption. This type of humor is no longer commentary on the subject but has
become the very presentation of the subject itself. We engage in this type of
humor with no thoughts about the consequences to others. It is abusive,
destructive, and divisive. More importantly it grieves the heart of God.
When we use humor to denigrate, abuse, malign, damage
another’s reputation, disparage, and just generally rudeness then we have
fallen prey to this very prohibition of “coarse jesting.”
I fear that without recognition of how destructive this type
of talk is and how much it grieves the heart of God we promote that which is
ultimately unrighteous and sinful. This is doubled since it is often delivered
with a prideful piety as well.
Personally, I have reached a point in seeing this kind of
behavior, that no matter what truth which I may agree or disagree with a person
that regularly engages in such humor is not worth my time. This is hard since
for many these same people I call into question are heroes.
In my own jesting I have become keenly aware of when I use
“coarse jesting” to denigrate others. I am working on removing it from my own
actions. I must admit the temptation to make the person you disagree with look
foolish is extraordinarily strong. Often this coarse jesting just slips out. I
often am catching myself afterwards and needing to repent and seek forgiveness.
So, what can we say then if we are attempting to avoid obscenities,
foolish talk, and coarse jesting? Ephesians 5:4
offers a very practical solution of “Giving Thanks.” It is through gratitude
and admiration that we move our talk to that which is uplifting and beneficial.
We raise above the divisive and destructive conversations when we learn to
express those things that we appreciate about others.
Giving thanks rather than engaging in obscene talk protects
from getting into base and filthy mindset. This also protects us from other
sexual sins as well. Giving thanks puts an end to endless foolish dialogues.
When you appreciate someone, you gain an ally rather than a verbal foe.
Appreciation says that the relationship is more important than the foolish
disagreement. Giving thanks rather than coarse jesting creates safe and
productive conversations rather than entrenched verbal warfare. When you
appreciate something about the person who opposes you it is disarming both
psychologically for you and socially for your would be enemy.
In the end this thankfulness presents a way of talking that
is vastly different from the world. It is a redemptive and sanctifying way of
communication. What is more, God has commanded us to talk with one another in
this way!
May God Richly Bless You
~BJ
