Recently some people who are close to me have been confused why I seem to be bucking the party line. I think in many ways the last two years has open my eyes to an unhealthy holding up of ideology. I think that in times past I was very guilty of this. In fact, family and friends who knew me a long time ago would often give me feedback that I was being too extreme and that I need to be careful. I of course always had a comeback argument as to why it was important. Many of the issues are no longer in my memory so how important they were I just don’t have the same youthful confidence.
So, this last year some major things happened to all of us. I noticed that my ideology was a poor guide for morality. It became clear to me that human ideals (man’s righteousness) were a poor guide for my life. As I contemplated this I started to recognize the power of encouragement. It had been something that had been growing in me for many years through life experiences that God had put into my life. But the power of encouragement is a Biblical moral value.
What is interesting about true encouragement is that it does not have any of the ideological baggage that encouragement guided by human ideals have. For example, encouragement from an ideological bent creates philosophical echo chambers in which we only celebrate things that agree with our point of view. In some ways this is a type of love of self to say I will only encourage those that strongly agree with my point of view. Over, time this encouragement takes a more sinister tone of not only do I only encourage those that strongly agree with me, but I also now have a mission to demonize those that disagree with me. This extra step, which I have seen over and over again from all manner of people, all walks of life, all political perspectives, and whether I agreed with them or not has become grievous to me. I can hardly stand it. I also hate it in myself as well.
So with encouragement as foundational moral value I sought the Bible to further correct my moral compass that had become ideologically corrupted. I recalled that in that at many points Agape Love has been at the center of many conversations related to Christian Ethics. I delved into studying love in scripture. I discovered many things. I even wrote a Bible Study about what I found. I also started to see parallels with relationships that I was seeing in counseling. I could see how in-depth research on relationships echoed much of what the Bible refers to as love. It was a rediscovery of something that I already knew from all those years of studying God’s Word.
I am convinced that love along with other virtues of kindness, graciousness, trustworthiness, service, compassion, longsuffering, loyalty, gentleness, and the like are values that are all together different that human ideals. They are divine in my estimation. The only way we can understand or express them is to be connected to the Imago Dei (image of God) that is in each of us. This image is polluted by sin so we need a redeemed Imago Dei. As a Christian I believe this occurs in the context of a saving and sanctifying relationship with Christ.
These divine virtues are above and beyond human ideologies. For example, I have seen people who I have serious differences in ideology be unkind and unloving. On the other hand, I have seen people that I have differences with be kind and loving. Also, I have seen people who I have strong ideological connection with be mean, nasty and deceptive. And in the same way I have seen people with strong ties philosophically be compassionate and long-suffering. This observation quite honestly rocked me to the core. Had I not had my faith I am not sure what might have happened.
I realized that the Ideology that had sustained me all of my adult life was at its core fundamentally flawed. I also realized that the ideology that I had fought against my whole adult life was fundamentally flawed as well. I did not spend much time looking at other ideologies, but from what I could tell each of them were also flawed in their own ways. I was rediscovering what is described in Isaiah 64:4-9. “All of us have become like something unclean, and all our righteous acts are like a polluted garment; all of us wither like a leaf, (verse 6).” I also rediscovered James 1:19-27. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness (verses 19 & 20).” “If anyone thinks he is religious without controlling his tongue, his religion is useless and he deceives himself (Verse 26).” These passages stand as a rock of offense against human ideologies. If they are true then we are ultimately foolish to put our hopes in human ideas. Ironically I could not see that for a long time in those human ideas that most closely reflected my own. I held those ideas as high and at times to my shame higher than the ideal virtues described in scripture. It was (and is) a blindness to the polluted garment of human ideology and the actions that flow from them.
So with a revival of sorts in the virtues of encouragement and love I have attempted to put these into practice. First I have found this excruciatingly difficult. It has been more grief than happiness so far. When you take the blinders of ideology off and see how really awful people are treating each other it is hard to not despair. Then when God holds a mirror up and says look and see the same awfulness in you it is almost too much to consider. Old ideological ways do not sluff off so easily and I have found my self slipping back into old habits and strategies. On the positive side I have had more contentment than at any other time in my life. There is a peace that comes from a willingness to look in the mirror and see yourself as you really are (James 1:22-25).
I have discovered that when you start to use Godly virtues that the world (including those you used to agree with) will not have it. I have been more attacked for trying to love people than I ever was for disagreeing with people. I am still trying to figure that paradox out. I think in part it is when you stop using political orthodoxy as your guide you become a traitor to those that are in your camp. Being a slave to political ideology has a bond of loyalty that can be vicious if you decide to leave it.
Someone recently indicated that I had slipped into the opposing political ideology. I could not see it. I thought and thought and determined that I was still the same on political opinions as I was before. At first, I thought that perhaps the party had moved and I had stayed the same. I was curious enough that I sought out and took three different political ideology tests. Each one of them came back that I had not changed in any significant way in my political ideas. I aligned as I always have. This seemed peculiar to me. I think what they were reacting to is my lens and therefore my reaction to the world and its issues has changed. I no longer trust my political ideology as a lens or guide for my life.
Love has become my true north in my moral compass. I cannot even claim that I have come close to obtaining any measure of success in this regard. I look at the path before me and realize not only do I have a lot to learn, but I hope that God lets me live a bit longer so I can work this out. I have spent 51 years of my life living for my ideology. Not all has been bad. Much of my ideology has been formed by godly men faithfully teaching me from God’s word. For that I am very grateful to those men and to God. Unfortunately, there also is a mix of doctrines of men that has crept in as well. That is why love has become my cardinal virtue. I need something to hold up to what I have learned and determine what needs to be held on to and what God really wants to take away. God’s virtues which Love is the greatest is that measure. My hope is that I can live the next part of my life living for Love, God’s supreme virtue.
As I engage on this journey, I ask for a bit of grace. I do not demand it but ask that you would consider a charitable interpretation of my words and deeds. I genuinely care about this. I genuinely grieve when I see unkindness and unloving attitudes and actions. First in myself and second in others. I am still broken and flawed. I still get irritable I still neglect responsibilities, I still become defensive. What has changed in me though is a desire to change these things rather that explain them. That is a work of God in my heart and life.
God has richly blessed me with a great diversity of acquaintances, friends, and family. I have not fully taken advantage of this. Often I have been locked away in my own thoughts, opinion, or escapism. For this I am truly sorry. My hope is that in the midst of such a rich array of beautiful people that God give me wisdom and fortitude to value the precious gift He has given me.
My commitment is to love well, Love God and Love others. This is all that matters. When I fall I commit to turning to God and seeking him as a way of integrity and as a restoration of His great love for me and His great love for you.
May God Richly Bless You
~BJ Olson
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