The Sin of Self-Reproach

At times we can see self-reproach as a spiritual virtue. It appears to be in the category of agreeing with God that I am a sinner.” Which is a true statement. However, self-reproach is applied in such a way that “I am chief among sinners” becomes “God must hate me” rather than “God must love me.” This interpretation leads to all kinds of corrosive beliefs. A self-examined life becomes a search for some hidden or unconscious sin, rather than a celebration of the grace we find in Christ.  

Let me just start by saying if you are conscious of doing something wrong then grief is the appropriate response. In fact, it is a necessary response. Without this grief there is no reason for change. If you are unaware of sin, you are unlikely to see any need to repent.  

Repentance has been defined as “turn around.” And while that certainly is a part of what that word means it is much more than a simple mental accent. It is clearly a change in disposition, change of heart, and change in behavior. It also is a change of intensity.  There is a turnaround that can be done in a passive way. Some might say that repentance is agreeing with God that sin is sin, and it is certainly that. After all grief is a precursor to repentance. But mere mental agreement is not repentance. You also can feel bad about something and not make any meaningful changes. 

Repentance is emotional. I have an intense desire to change, a longing to change. I am angry when change does not come about. 

Repentance is behavioral. I strive to have God’s justice in my life. I work to clear my name. Not that I am innocent, but that I long to make the change to be innocent. It involves radical and intense action. 

Again, the acknowledgement of doing something wrong is simply the first step of repentance.  Acknowledging sin as it occurs in you r life and allowing Christ through his sanctification to change you is having the identity of a repentant sinner.  This is contrasted with self-reproach which lacks power of sanctification and leads you into a cycle of feeling badly leading to you to try hard to be good leading to feeling worse when you can’t and then trying even harder. Self-reproach is a downward spiral and not a Christian virtue.  

Repentance also is not necessarily abstaining from doing something wrong. Sin means to miss the mark. So, for example you might feel a bit anxious during the day and neglect to turn toward God. This would be missing the mark. When I fail to turn to God (repent) in my worries I am not following his word. So, repentance in that case might be something like, “Lord I need to learn how to more quickly turn toward you and place my hope and trust in you.” Repentance is not just avoiding bad things but pursuing God with the greatest zeal as you possibly can. Feeling bad about yourself and beating yourself up does not ultimately lead to passionate pursuit of God. 

I would suggest that self-reproach is misguided is sinful. Just to be clear if you are sinning, then grief over that sin is appropriate. But on the other hand, if you are not doing something morally or ethically wrong then self-reproach really is missing the mark. Missing the mark is the definition of sin. Jesus said, “I have come that you may have joy and that your joy may be full.” So, self-reproach means we are missing the mark for what God wants for our lives. 

I desire to rejoice in the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. And I confess to you Lord, I desire to rejoice in your coming and the grace that you have given me. I want to spend more time rejoicing in that and I repent of the sour anxious disposition that has robbed me of the joy I find in you. I need you! I need Your Spirit working in my so that my joy may be full.  I commit to rejoicing in whatever happens. I need your help. 

What a wonderful time of year to celebrate the coming of our Lord. So, let’s set our minds on the celebration of Christ’s appearing and the joy that results from resting in him. God is at work and when you join with him you are collaborating on the project of bring joy to your heart and sharing that joy with the world. And that would be repenting of the sin of self-reproach.  

Merry Christmas and God Bless You